Saturday, December 11, 2004

I've Gone Ahead and Made Myself Even More Ridiculous with Fake Nails

I redeemed the last little bit of my spa gift certificate today by getting fake nails. No, I am not a fancy lady. No, they don't go with my personal style since I don't really even shower "every" day and my outfit choices are based on what doesn't have to be ironed. Nevertheless, Sometimes I get my nails done when I'm teaching--it keeps the focus on my hands, rather than my lack of preparation--and my kids and husband love the nails for back-scratching reasons. Ever the selfless and devoted wife and mother, I obliged.

I really felt betrayed by the "nail artist." Last week as she was washing my feet she totally said she had been married for 3 months and we had a huge conversation about it. Today she wore no ring and repeatedly referred to her "boyfriend." What gives? It made asking probing questions, like I usually do, not even fun.

Then on the way home I heard that song by SR-71 called "1985" and realized it's about me. In my defense, old stuff is much funner for me to talk about but I do like some new things such as No Doubt, Peanut Butter M&Ms and AC/DC--oops, I did it again. But come on, wouldn't you rather talk about AC/DC than the Dave Matthews Band? (which isn't that new but compared to, say, Fleetwood Mac--it's downright fresh.) I like the Dave Matthews band but all I can say about the Dave Matthews Band is that there is a man in my ward who reminds me very much of Dave Matthews--to the point of making me nervous whenenver I'm around him. Not because I think he is Dave Matthews, but because I'm afraid he might think I think he is Dave Matthews. It's ridiculous.

So then I picked up some fish and fries at Arctic Circle and went home. The fish remains the highlight of my day--which is not to say I've had a bad day I just. . . how could she lie to me like that?

8 comments:

  1. That's just plain weird. I would make Christian get you another gift certificate so that you can investigate. But go to another person so you can get the dirt.

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  3. Maybe she's a pedicurist/manicurist/polygamist? Huh? Did you think about that one? She might be commuting from southern Utah. Maybe.

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  4. Heavens to Betsy for she is but a pedicurist/manicurist for which she toils - how much worse do you want her life to be? And if you could, please abstain from fried food as it be as unhealthy as divinity fudge!

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  5. So I had a birthday celebration of sorts on Friday and I told Rob to have his parent call you and invite your family over for cake, but he never did. He insisted that you wouldn't come and I gave up. Sorry, I should have pushed for it more. I wish I would have now.

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  6. Yeah, for awhile there I was getting my nails done until I met this returnign customer at the restaurant where I worked. Her name was Norma and she owned Norma's Nails that used to be on 8th N. and 2nd W. She used to come into lunch all the time with this hot much-younger man. The thing about Norma though, she looked just like a mole (like Edna in The Incredibles) and her nails were 5 inches long. Not kidding. Kind of curling back on themselves. Lots of clicking as she ate lunch. It made me sick. So I went and got my nails done there so I could get the dirt. According to her own employee, the hot young man was her "accountant" (the girl said it with quotation marks), and that she's had ner nails done like that for YEARS. She said she didn't think Norma could function without them. So go do some recon stat.

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  7. Fish and Fries from Artic Circle? Good Pickin's

    By far the best.

    Dee's are alright, McDonalds fish is a classic, much better then the BK Fish. I am glad Wendys does not do fish, I doubt it would go ver well. Overall you can not do any better then the halibut at Artic Circle. You must really love your family.

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  8. Spa again!! Oh how glorious the Utah life must be. Unless of course you be the woman that can't remember the lies you told the lady whose toes you pick at for a living. I say you go back tomorrow and tell her your own lies... What fun this could be, and in the end you may become a fan of the spa life.

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