10. I don't like to eat candy canes. When I was little I was convinced they gave me gas. As a rule I don't talk about gas but in this context I think it's endearing.
9. I like how those gross white or pink peppermint lozenges don't even try to pass as candy but instead market themselves as "lozenges." Who was the ad wizard behind that? I don't like lozenges unless they are laced with codeine.
8. I like the ideology The Ramones embrace--not for myself, but for them.
7. I like how boys (what I really mean is boyish young men's leaders,) (what I really mean is Brother Conlee and Byron Stout,) just turn their shirts inside out when they spill on them. Brilliant! I've been wasting so much time on laundry.
6. I don't like how my mouth feels after I drink hot chocolate. That said, I like hot chocolate so it is worth it to me.
5. I like Christmas. In particular, I like the commercialization of Christmas.
4. I like being cold and getting warm. I don't like anything about being hot or cooling off.
3. I like my kids, but I don't like getting up early because of them. In fact, I resent it. I like good moms like me. I don't like selfish, slothful people.
2. I like ordering the "Humongous Swig" from the Drive-thru Crest on 9th east. I like it because doing it keeps me humble. Very, very humble.
1. I like ice-skating. I didn't used to: cold. painful. not fun. Now I realize it all depends on who you go with. Slow, clumsy people who think they can beat me are best.