Thursday, December 16, 2004

Here's What Happened When My Husband Was Out of Town

Christian went on a business trip yesterday and though he has only been gone for one day, a few things happened which he needs to know about. I'm not proud of these things, but I can explain.

All my clothes were dirty--not because I blog all day and ignore my domestic duties, but because I wash Christian's clothes first, my children's clothes second, and then (if there's time before I bake pies) I wash my own clothes. So I had to resort to my "work" pants, also known as Mom Jeans. I wore them all over, to the store, to the library, to the post office, to CARRIE ANN'S house, etc. Understand, I was late to board the bootcut train but board it I did and have not looked back except for this one pair of reverse-fit Eddie Bauer classics. It was bad--here's how bad (with no offense to Christian): Maggie asked, Why are you wearing Daddy's pants?

For dinner the kids had Kraft Macaroni and Cheese--again, not because I blog all day [and night], but because to them it's a "special treat." Of course I wasn't going to eat that crap so I got myself a very big specialty rice crispy treat (made by a deli and sold at the gas station) for dinner. I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear-view mirror trying to take a bite out of it. "I look cool," I thought. And then I hoped someone from our ward might see me driving really fast in my red van on the way home eating my big rice crispy treat. And that, sadly, is a true story.

And finally, as there were no clean pajamas, I put on Christian's thermals. I used to wear these [not his, but some like it] all the time in high school and they were very cute--very baggy. Not so baggy anymore. Not so cute. Instead I looked very much like a male ballet dancer. I was so taken by my resemblance to a male ballet dancer that I did a (phonetic spelling to follow:) potta boo-ray in the mirror. Mind you, I have a vivid recollection of learning this move in ballet class as a child when I was young and dainty and presumably cute and showing my mom and she (not a mean person) laughed at me because she thought I was joking. I can tell you this, it certainly hasn't gotten better since then.

That's it. That's everything. Oh yes, and our church stinks but that has nothing to do with me--rotten broccoli or 1000 cloves of garlic or something. Note to non-Mormons: We don't believe in vampires or stockpile garlic for any reason other than cooking (you may get your occasional freak who uses it medicinally but that's not church-sanctioned). Just trying to be helpful.

20 comments:

  1. I once went to a ward building in Virginia that always smelled like really stinky feet.

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  2. One gas-station rice krispy treat does not a proper dinner make. You need to have at least two.

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  3. I looked out the window all day in hopes of seeing you streak past my house in your red van eating a rice crispy treat...and then I realized you don't pass my house on the way home, and I felt depressed that I had wasted a whole day for naught. I'll send my Eddie Bauer pants over to your house to play with your Eddie Bauer pants. Mine don't get much use, but somehow they managed to sneak out of the DI bag everytime. But then again, I have issues about passing on bad fashion.

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  4. That. Was. Awesome.

    You are so funny!

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  5. Omigosh... That wasn't actually Rebecca! I was putting links on her page and when I checked to make sure that the one to your page worked I read your post. And it was funny... so I posted. But I forgot that I was signed in as Rebecca.

    Now all I can do is write sentence fragments and feel unsmart.

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  6. This morning I heard talk on the radio about Ugg boots and my first thought was, "Kacy should get some, then she could wear those classic cut Eddie Bauer jeans all the time."

    Last Sunday all Carly and I ate were cookies and Christmas goodies. My only regret: no rice krispie treats.

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  7. Maybe if you put as much effort into finishing the Tree House (without the tree) as you do into blogging.....

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  8. Anonymous11:08 AM

    Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for saying "potta boo-ray". That is BY FAR the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. I needed a good laugh today and you definitely provided it. I'll laugh about that for days.

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  9. I thought you said you were obsessed with blogging!!

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  10. I don’t mean to be complaining or anything, okay fine, yes I do… but you see while your husband was out he was kicken’ it my neck of the woods so I know for a fact he is back and able to watch the children while you blooooggggg …

    So what is the problem?

    Lack of material?

    Just write about…. Ummmm…. ME.

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  11. Anonymous11:00 AM

    I agree that you must blog on a more frequent basis. The part about how you do your laundry last if you have time after baking pies made me laugh so hard. Very funny stuff.
    It's people like you that confirm for me that I just am simply not funny or clever enough to have a blog-- mine would be such a yawner.

    Yours is so very entertaining. keep 'em coming.

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  12. Didn't you say you went to school with mark fagg? His Christmas card picture is online at www.pickitupska.com/forum under the thread "happy holidays everyone." I thought you might be interested.

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  13. The problem with posting comments on your blog Sista Falcor is you get so many, that by the time you want to post one concerning the original subject of the post, the nature of the comments has altered the dynamic of the post. Thus, while I would have made a comment concerning Mormon garlic, it is now old and irrelevant.

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  14. That really sounds like something a sterling scholar would say. I don't understand it, of course, but that's beside the point (I assume).

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  15. Does anyone really think that Rob could beat me? My grades are better, I'm taking (by 'taking' I mean 'will be taking') more classes, I write more, I lack conjuctions. It really would take a lot of cheating to help him win. Have him go for, uh, dance or something. That would be a good way for him to start dating Matt's sister. She got it last year.

    I've been told not to encourage you to blog because Mark's job is on the line. Do what your heart tells you.

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  16. I think this may be your longest hiatus since you began blogging. What gives? I propose that we turn down a few social engagements over the holidays, I'll watch the kids and you blog.

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  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  18. Yeah Kacy, you're just like Jerry Seinfeld, or the lesser known Seinfeld brother, Gary. I think that thinking that finding humor in the mundane is clever IS mundane. I'm not saying you're not clever or funny Kacy, because you are, I just think that that amazed/awed attitude isn't the kind of progressive thinking that we need. You know why? Me neither.

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  19. Nate: I apologize for my comment (which I have subsequently removed) I didn't mean it to sound trite, I meant it tongue-in-cheek, but realized that that too was insulting. Your chivalry, however, is endearing.

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