Like the title? It does have a certain ring to it. In fact, the reason it probably appeals to you so much is that Freaky Sick Crapola has the same rhythm and cadence as "Funky Cold Medina." I didn't do that on purpose. But after I wrote the title I realized it. I'm pretty sure that Tone Loc and I share a muse. . . and her name is Cura. . . Cura. . . Cura. Oh all right I'll stop it. I'm just being silly. Time to get down to bidness. I will share four accounts of freaky sick things. Two involve mice, and two involve people.
I have mentioned before that my cat, Ozzy, catches and murders a lot of mice. It has become commonplace to encounter their remains all over the yard and, especially, on the porch. This does not phase me. I use a grocery bag to pick them up and put them in the garbage. Well, a few months ago I saw something that still makes me shudder. On the sidewalk leading up to our house was a dead mouse on its back. Protruding from its belly was a ginormous black slug-like creature. It was segmented, like a worm. But it was not long and skinny. It was 2 inches long and its diameter was just slightly less than a film canister. It sicks me out just to type that last part, but it's true. Was this creature on its way in or out of the mouse? I can't answer that. I have also considered that it might have actually been part of the mouse--like one of its organs that was displaced by Ozzy. When I went to dispose of the carcass with the grocery bag I used the bag to tug on the slug-like creature. It was firmly embedded in the mouse. Freaky and sick, I know.
Many years ago when I was about 13 Heidi and I were hiking up above our cabin in Lamb's Canyon. We saw something that freaked us out and I'm sure it is no coincidence that since then I have imagined this cabin as the setting for all of Stephen King's stories which take place in the woods. We came across a mostly-empty brown beer bottle. It caught our eyes because there were TWO LITTLE HANDS STICKING OUT OF THE BOTTLE. Inside was a dead mouse who had, apparently, gotten in but was too bloated to get back out. Its stomach was bald. This whole experience calls to mind Templeton, the grody little rat who goes on a bender in Charolotte's Web--which is a disturbing episode in itself.
The third experience that freaked me out was simply seeing a woman in the BYU bookstore who had a weird design, a pattern, if you will, of red dots along her face and neck. I'm sure that it was a result of some kind of misfortune or treatment she was undergoing. Nevertheless, I didn't like it at all and it has creeped me out for many years. You see, it wasn't like a birthmark. That I could handle. There was a regularity to the red dots that reminded me of Deep Space 9 which is a show I can not abide.
The last freaky experience I will share is not a first hand account but I feel justified in sharing it because it happened to Christian and he does not have a blog. He and his friend, Chuck, were in Salt Lake City safely in their car when they saw a homeless-looking man lumbering down the sidewalk. He was dressed in a long coat and a crocheted beret. On his face was a leather mask with buckles and no more than two slits for eyes. YIKES! Both Chuck and Christian gave a little start at this person's appearance and I too am (vicariously) freaked out by anyone that would wear a mask like the one described above. There are two main reasons why it is so freaky. 1) It seems like such a tight-fitting mask would have to be custom made. 2) Hannibal Lector wears something similar.
And now I must dash, Clarice. I'm having friends for dinner. Moowah ha ha ha.