Tuesday, April 26, 2005

So Apparently Prom Is Like A Really Big Deal

I mean, I knew prom was a big deal on T.V. and stuff but when I went to high school I didn't think anyone really went to all that trouble in real life. Apparently, things have changed. My, isn't that interesting from a sociological perspective? Or, alternatively and perhaps more likely: My, isn't it interesting that I was so out of touch that I had no idea prom was such a big deal?

*I recall I remember when my special prom date knocked on my door and said do you want to go to prom and I said yes. Mind you, this was in the day and age of "creative asking." Looking back on it I am struck by the absolute creativity in the lack of my date's creativity--it's brilliance is it's lameness ("the spice is the worm. . . the worm is the spice").

I recall I remember when I went shopping for prom dresses with my mom and I was a little surly because shopping for prom dresses was so gay. (I have and will in the future refrain from using the word "gay" in this way for the sake of political correctness--a cause I believe in. However, I have made the decision to use it here because it expresses most accurately what I would have thought and probably said at the time, i.e. "Mom, this is so gay." I'm not sure I have made the right rhetorical choice but one does what one can. Onward.)

I also recall that I spent the day with my friend Otto in Salt Lake and we got home just in time to stop at Campus Creations to pick up a boutoniere for my date. Why wasn't I ice blocking with my date all day preceding the prom? I don't know. Like I said, prom wasn't as big of a deal. Or maybe it was for everyone else and Otto was assigned to take me to Salt Lake so I wouldn't notice the picnics, balloon rides, and rose-petal-strewn limousines that everyone else had. At any rate, you bet I was grateful for banana clips that day because I was able to create a formal "up do" with little effort or know-how. I never said it would be be classy, I only said it would be worth it.

Yada yada yada, we ate dinner in the restored gangster car at The Underground a la Scott Baio and Jodie Foster in Bugsy Malone. Little did I know I would be taken back to that car years later on another special date--the night Godfather III came out. It's too bad that those poor well-intentioned non-jerk (which was rare) suitors had no idea that not only am I totally claustrophobic, but I also think eating in the car is gay [if not a thoughtful touch].

I don't remember actually promenading although I have a vague recollection of seeing my mom there and wondering how she knew about it. Had it been outside in the rain as it was this year for Provo High's up and coming there's no way she would have been there--and that's not a comment on her devotion. Just as my dismay and disappointment and general bad attitude about having to stand in the rain to watch promenade this year is not a reflection of my devotion to anyone or anything that may or may not have been promenading at the time. I'm just saying.

So banana clip, car, prom, that's about it. Then I went the next year but I recall, I remember when it was not necessarily en vogue to go to prom if you were a senior. In fact, it was more of a lark if you did go. Sadly, I did not get to eat in the car as a senior but I did wear the same dress which had a stain from the previous prom's meal which had been eaten in the car.

But all of this is just so much prelude to the shocking revelation that occurred at Provo High's prom. As I was bracing myself against a solid-trunked tree so as not to blow away and rubbing vaseline into my chapped and bleeding cheeks Berkeley encouraged me to look into the storm because she says to me she says, "That's ERP." I was so surprised because erp is one of the few blogging entities I have yet to meet in real life. He was hard to make out through the sheets of oppressive rain but I saw enough to be sure of one thing: He doesn't look at all like Screech from Saved by the Bell, which, for some reason, is what I was picturing. So that totally rocked my world. And believe me, I could (and would) go on about it but for one thing. I just remembered that yesterday I bought 4 large Hershey bars for 5 dollars. And so you see, I must go.

*Prom Theme as discussed in Faxton Five


  1. I didn't go to my junior OR senior proms.

    And apparently, I wasn't missing out on anything.

  2. I was also at your prom with mom. You see, I was very much into the gayness of it all, which is why I frequently tell Mike that I wish I could redo my prom. Only being able to eat one Arbys roast beef sandwich (no fries or drink offered by cheap date), sitting in cardboard "cars" that we decorated ourselves to watch a movie, having a date complain loudly about the price of pictures, and falling down as I went to sit in a chair that had cruelly been removed from it's original spot left a very bad taste in my mouth. I would have settled for "gay," and I think you know my double meaning.

  3. Not that the following information would have any bearing on whether or not you will write about ERP, but, just so you know he’s out of town for some reason, so blog to your heart’s content.
    P.S. Thanks for facing the elements to see the Promenade, as if you couldn’t tell, it meant a lot to Alex.

  4. Hilarious post.

    I, too, wish I had been cool enough to NOT think prom was a big deal.

    Why I (thought I) WAS cool:
    I went to the prom with a football player from a college in Missouri.

    Why I wasn't cool:
    I actually had a fake prom in my house before my boyfriend left on his mission (because I was so traumatized not to be able to go with him) to which I wore a dress that I returned the following day (and for which my mom hocked a gold watch to buy me pork chops). For my real prom, I spent my after prom party with my my date talking to the family of my future FRESHMAN boyfriend in their living room. My dress was the color of my skin and my hair blended right in, too. My shoes were similar to ones worn by my great grandmother.

    And to top it all off, I still am not cool because today an email went out to my (single adult) ward telling us all that the northern virginia prom would be held in May. And my heart raced a little. Until I read that it is only for high schoolers. What a tease.

  5. I thought my prom was fun, although it wasn't much like Andie's from "Pretty in Pink" (regrettably--I LOVE that movie.) Because MHS likes to do things in style, the deejay ended the night not with "If You Leave" by OMD, but instead Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.”

    I didn’t mind too much that a girl I did not like at all had the same dress on as me--hers was strapless and mine had spaghetti straps, so hers was obviously much cuter. I don’t know why, when I was choosing to rebel against my mother (secretly of course since I wore a cardigan for pictures) I didn’t choose strapless.

    The theme for my prom, incidentally, was “I Will Remember You.” I thought that was nice, especially since my date/pseudo-boyfriend (pseudo because Terrills didn’t have boyfriends) and I essentially stopped talking to each other once I went to college.

  6. I keep telling myself that I'll write a Prom blog, but I doubt it will happen for a couple days.

  7. Prom, prom, prom...they build it up to be so great! And then I get born shy and chubby and to parents who don't believe in prom indulgences like taking a 1/2 day off school to go get nails and hair done. I feel totally gyped. Plus I had to ASK my date to go with me. He was a friend. From church. I AM SO LAME. All this prom talk is giving me uncharacteristically low self esteem.

  8. At the time, I thought I was the luckyest girl in the world to be asked out by the star basketball/ football player of our school for prom. Good thing I didn't "fuss" as he was as boring as drying paint. What mom turned a dance into this bonanza?

  9. Ahhh...Prom. Junior year stunk because I went with my boyfriend. Senior year ruled because I went with my best guy friend, who had shoulder length bleached hair, which was very cool at the time.

    Six months later, Kacy flirted with him when she went to Phoenix with me for Homecoming. It's true. I have a picture of her making gaga eyes at him. If she denies it I will make the picture public.

    Geez, can't believe my sister went after my prom date. Straight out of a John Hughes movie. :)

  10. While I never had the opportunity to ride in a limo (even to this day!) or have my nails done for Prom, I _can_ look back and say that 2 of the 3 proms I went to were highlights of my teenage years. I felt pretty, I liked the boys I went with (and they liked me!) and we had a smashing time.

    The rest of high school....eh. :/ Not nearly as fun...


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