All right all right all right--Yes. I did go through a phase where I was having imaginary conversations with Paul Bettany for a while. But just because I wanted to have a sincere and frank discussion with him about The Beatles, that does NOT mean I wanted to see him pure nude in The Da Vinci Code last night. As I said to Christian at the time, "Ew."
It doesn't help that Paul Bettany is some sort of albino in the movie. I hate albinos. I've never seen one in real life but they are always the creepy people in movies. One of my earliest childhood memories is of the albino in Foul Play (creepy). You don't think any albinos read my blog do you? Because a) I would feel bad for saying I hate albinos and b) that would really creep me out. Now that I've given it some thought, if you are an albino reading this I would like to send you a personal apology so please send me your e-mail address. (Just don't send me any pictures of you--ick.) Isn't it about time TLC did a reality show about albinos so I can start thinking of them as real people? Something like, Clear People, Colored World. Or maybe a better title. I don't know. TLC somehow seems responsible for making this right.
Paul Bettany's naked albino scene is all the more repugnant because he is engaging in flogging and self-chastisement. It's really quite disturbing and yet, in my heart, I like anything that makes Mormons seem a little less unusual. Don't believe everything you hear about us! (Does this cilice go with my knee shorts?)
The bottom line about The Da Vinci Code? I liked the book and I like the movie. Oh, and I pretty much believe all the theories and interpretations of history as outlined by Dan Brown. Yep, pretty much. Bye bye now.