Have you seen on my blog profile how I like routines? I do. I try to establish routines for myself because I am happier when I do. But what I am really interested in are other people's routines. I am interested because their (that means you!) routines might sound good to me and I can adopt them as my own. Even if they don't sound good, I still like to know what people are doing on any given day at any given moment. Like when I read Carrie's blog about the State Fair I think to myself, "OK, so that's where she was on Saturday." And when I read about Design Mom's schedule over the next few months I make a mental note: "Blairs in Plymouth over Thanksgiving." When I look out my office window and see my father-in-law's office light on I know for sure that, "Jim is in his office. How about that? Me too." Then I shut my blinds really fast.
So anyway, I have a pretty good routine for Thursday when my maids come. What the? Yes. I have a maid. Does that make you hate me? If it does I understand--I have hated people for having maids. If it makes you feel better, I would judge you for having a maid so please go ahead and judge me.
I've had a maid for about a year every time I've had a baby. Somehow it just happens. I think it has to do with Christian insisting on it. He's more chivalrous than I am slob, by the way. It's a real treat to have a maid when you have a new baby. I feel extra guilty this time because Ellen has been sleeping through the night for about 3 months now. I'm no longer nursing and I'm not sleep-deprived. It kind of isn't right that I have a maid. But I do. Her name is Clara and she comes on Thursdays. I like to spend Wednesday cleaning up for her. I try to impress her. I clean the sink and think Clara will be so impressed that I cleaned the sink even though she's coming tomorrow. If I start a project my deadline for finishing it is always the day before Clara comes. I make my bed and all the kids' beds--wait until Clara sees! I don't know if she's impressed or not. (Made or unmade, they still smell like urine.)
So when Clara comes I leave to let her clean my house. It just feels weird laying in bed with her vacuuming all around me. I always go to the library on Thursday. This week I got About Alice, Jamestown, The Enlightened Bracketologist, and The Phantom Tollbooth. I've never read The Phantom Tollbooth, if you can believe that. Ben chooses books and movies for the other kids. We don't go to storytime. I don't enjoy storytime, and neither does Ben.
Sometimes I drop off dry cleaning and sometimes I go to TJ Maxx. I go to TJ Maxx more often than I drop off dry cleaning. I guess you could say I have ambivalent feelings towards the Maxx. I hate TJ Maxx. It smells bad and everyone who works there is totally apathetic. At the same time, I love the things that I buy there. You know that I never pay full price for things, right? I buy things on sale or picked over (from TJ Maxx). I have to--I've got a maid to support (priorities).
Sometimes I just drive around to kill time. While I drive, I do one of three things: Listen to NPR, (See how I'm smart and classy even though I shop at TJ Maxx?) Listen to a book on tape from the library, (Right now I'm listening to Artemis Fowl.) or just wonder about things such as, how long does it take to get bed sores? Frankly, I'm surprised I've never had one.
Or, how much did the A&E narrator get paid to be the on board voice that talks to me in my car? Which job pays more? Is he a billionaire? Does he drive a car with his own voice in it? Is his house really nice or sort of tacky, like most of the cribs on MTV Cribs? Does he have a maid? Where does he go when his maid is cleaning his house?
And, is Valerie Bertinelli embarrassed at all to be a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, or is she just happy to have work? Does she think Eddie Van Halen won't see the ads? In that same vein--Was Valerie Bertnelli embarrassed for Eddie Van Halen when he broke his hip because it made him seem like such an old geezer? What's happening to those two? Will I go gently into that good night like Eddie and Valerie or will I rage, rage against the dying of the light?
I usually have just a little more time when I'm done with all of this so I might go over to someone's house for a visit, but I don't get a lot of invites. Once I came home early and cleaned out the garage while Clara worked inside. I was hoping she would notice what a hard worker I am. I'm always in a really good mood on Thursday and my house is clean so that's a great day for people to come over, but I don't get a lot of takers. Once Clara leaves, Thursday proceeds much like any other day: I check my blogs and just keep on refreshing my Facebook profile. An important update could come at any time. Until Thursday, Vayo con Dios.