Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Wrote Another Article for Parents Magazine

About 8 months ago I wrote an article about housekeeping for Parents Magazine. If you'd like to read it, here it is.

I've written two pieces for Parents now and being edited is really weird.  For the first article they already had a blog post in mind they wanted me to revise for publication. After that, they wanted me to "pitch" them ideas. I said, "Great! What does that mean?" Luckily I was able to send them ideas informally through e-mail. I think there is such a thing as a formal pitch which probably follows a certain format but I don't know what it is.

This was before I started writing my tips for not very good housekeepers post but well after I had developed an obsession with reading housekeeping books to see how other people do it. I bought a bunch of books and offered to try them out. I was excited because they sent me four other books (for free!) to read and try and write about. I did it and wrote a draft. Then they wrote back with changes, which I made. And now--almost a year later--the article is in the June issue.

They cut out one of the books entirely, which doesn't offend me or anything because I'm sure it was for length. I should say none of the editing changes offend me but I do notice them and sort of obsess over them. For example, there's a part where I talk about assigning chores to my children and inspect them when they are done. They added that I wrote them down and the first chore was "make your bed," which isn't true. I can see that they are making it more coherent and giving more concrete details but when my kids read the article they thought I made it all up for the magazine (plus it was a while ago so they don't remember it at all).

At one point I said my domestic goddess was "telling me to bring it" and they changed it to "begging me to make her proud." Maybe "bring it" was unclear. When I was writing it I thought, "this is a great way to incorporate a hip new phrase." There's another part where I said "I'm a Mormon so nothing fazes me." I thought for sure they would cut it because it's an incidental detail about me that isn't really relevant--but when you're paid per word those irrelevant details add up! When I saw they left it in I wondered if they thought I would think it was anti-Mormon to cut it. (I enjoy playing mind games like this. With myself. And other people who don't know they are part of the game.)

Other words I didn't write and actually never say that my editor added: "back-of-the-napkin calculations," "grotty," and "needlepoint-worthy." I didn't write those words and yet. . . it does sound like me. This makes me wonder why they don't write the whole thing instead of paying me to write it because they are totally capable of sounding just like me. I seriously wonder. (The mind game continues.)

Is this boring you? Do you wish I would stop talking about it so you could just read the article and get on with your life? Sorry. I keep forgetting--just because my life is on hold until the season finale of Lost, doesn't mean yours is.

Well, here is the anecdote on editorial process that I hope will be your pay-off for reading this post. In my previous essay for Parents I gave a list of parental advice. One of the tips was, "Don't allow the word weenis in your home." I thought for sure they'd cut it but it is a rule I live by so I put it in the first draft. I'm sure they thought it was a typo on my part and that I meant wienies (like hot dogs,) which is how it was published. But there's nothing wrong with the word wienies. I said weenis and I meant weenis. And weenis, my friend, rhymes with penis. That's why I don't allow it in my home. Because it is a crass cross between wienie and the aforementioned.

Several months after the piece was published they called to tell me it was going into an issue of Parents for Brazil. They were translating it and had been working with several experts to get the word wienies just right. The woman who called had done a lot of research into the origins of the word and wanted to know if frankfurter fit with the original spirit of the piece. "Oh no, my dear. It's much more complicated than that. . ." When I told her about "weenis" she was dumbfounded and had no idea where to begin to find a suitable equivalent. I think you will agree--there is no equivalent. Which is when I wrote the improbable e-mail to my brother-in-law who served a mission in Brazil, "How do you say weenis in Portuguese?" There's really nothing quite like it.

What can I say? I'm a writer and an artist.

28 comments:

  1. that's the best thing ever. this is now why all my kids will serve missions. just in case...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love having a famous, published friend.

    Looking forward to the article.

    And did you know that "wenis" refers to the flap of arm skin we women fear and detest.

    Words are such devilish little demons at times!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. What other words are not allowed in your home?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like 'bring it' but then maybe I am just more hip.

    (Wenis/weenis - you don't want either of those whipping about in public)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congrats on the new article.
    I hate being edited, which is why I will never be a writer (that and I can't write worth a dime). But it's the editing that is really sealing it for me.
    I don't want negative feedback.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why do I get the impression you're a way more awesome parent than you pretend to be?

    ReplyDelete
  7. What did you think of "Across the Sea?"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kacy, you are so talented. Seriously, I am sitting here thinking about how I wish I lived closer to you so you could rub off on me a little more. I love that your kids get to read your article and see all the amazing things you do because they will most likely want to become amazing themselves. You play yourself down way too much. I think you are trying to not intimidate the rest of us (mind games?)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Okay, I'm stumped. What's "grotty"?

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Grotty" is like gross and dirty all rolled up into one.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I too enjoy mind games. My favorite of late is the one my 6 year old son and I play on a daily basis. It's called the "am I really a mean parent like he says or is he just beginning to assert his opinions and ideas" game. Neverending and always engaging!
    I can't wait to read the article to see how all these phrases and words work into the entire piece.

    In other news...I hope you are going to post about this weeks episode of Lost. It will give me a much needed reprieve from my mind game.

    ReplyDelete
  12. i can't wait to read the article! I love reading your stuff.

    this post is great. and seriously, I have started saying a word that I think I should STOP saying. because I don't like the word penis or weenis for that matter, I have started calling my little man's manhood "winky." i think that is possibly worse than anything. and yet...I can't seem to stop. poor guy. it really does take all manliness out of the thing when his mom calls it something so rediculous.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Weenis. Wait until I tell my kids...I also don't know what "grotty" is/means. Is it like groady to the max? I saw your tomato sauce recipe on the Today show-today. The lady who wrote "Spoonfed" was showing it off.

    ReplyDelete
  14. A "real" editor shouldn't add words like the ones you say your editor did in your article. Your cleverness evidently inspired her to add some of her own. I had an editor do that to me once, and I told her, "That's cute and clever, and I kind of wish I had said it, but I didn't, so please take it out." Of course, it wasn't a paying gig like Parents. But I'm just saying--it's that kind of editor that gives editors a bad name.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So, what did he say? I'd like to teach my kids how to say weenis in Portuguese

    ReplyDelete
  16. He said there is no equivalent and the closest approximation is a very bad swear word.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I have in my life written two things that were then edited by others and published without me saying the changes were okay. In both cases it was the only time I wrote for that publication. This makes me think I will never be a successful published writer.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You aren't an artist, you are an ARTISTE.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bring on the weenis! Wait. . .

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congrats on getting another article published! You sounded great and it was fun to read about the editorial process.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My boys have been calling each other weenis for years. I do not like it.

    According to them, weenis is the skin on your elbow when your elbow isn't bent.

    There's another word they use that has something to do with a whale, but it's escaping me at the moment. I don't like it either.

    I suppose there are pros and cons for being readers...

    ReplyDelete
  22. that's why I think blogging is way more fun than getting edited...they suck all the Kacy out of those bits!

    congrats! that makes me glad my grandma accidentally subscribed me to Parents even tho my youngest is 4 and I'm kind of over it. now you have to autograph my copy.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I do think weenis is the skin on your elbow. Did you know you can bite or pinch someone's weenis and it doesn't hurt. Try it. I'm totally serious.

    I know a little boy who calls his boy parts "tenders." So cute!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Well, I feel like I should clarify that I love my editor. I wish she had a blog.

    ReplyDelete
  25. what a fascinating peek into editing. Loved it!

    Cracking up over weenis. We're a penis fam here.

    ReplyDelete
  26. So I got my mag in the mail and found your article and was relieved to read that is still had its Kacy sass, and I liked the look of it, too. nice. There's that one part where you say something about some people do xyz, but that will never be me, and I totally started singing a song from Say Anything in my head and thought you might be able to relate: "That'll never be me, that'll never be me, and don't you even think it!" Nice job! It's always good to be reminded of my motto: If the kids are alive at the end of the day, then I've done my job.

    ReplyDelete
  27. "How do you say 'weenis' in portuguese?" Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  28. As a subscriber to Parents for the past 5 years, I am in awe of you publication-ness. Congrats. But whoever chooses phrases like the napkin thing and deletes "bring it" should take a back seat to your driving, lady.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...