The Why and Wherefore I'm Alive: How to Love Your Wife, A Playlist

These are songs that your husband wants to sing to you. He loves you so much. He's just shy. Try not to cry--it's pretty moving. When it gets serious (Kate Bush), just look down and act really vulnerable but heroic. Men are suckers for that!

Getting Tired of 100 Dollars Yet?

It's the third week of my 100-dollar giveaways. Are you getting sick of them? Check out my other blog to find out if you won. In other compelling news: If I did cook breakfast, I would cook eggs. Also, something romantic.

If you are not in this blogging relationship for the money, I'm flattered.  You can read all my archives from start to finish and become my friend on Facebook. But try for the giveaway anyway because you deserve it.

Edumacation Week

Last week I went to some classes at BYU's Education Week, Women's Conference's older, dandruffy sister. I sat through a day of organization classes. You'd think it would be boring. In fact, looking over my "notes" some of it was boring. But that first day I went from 8:30am until 3pm. The time flew by. I stayed in the same classroom the whole time. I had a big drink hidden in my bag and internet access on my iPhone. No one bugged me. Bliss. There was a lot of talk about decluttering. I'm in favor of less clutter. I think it's interesting that we value "decluttering" so much now. It used to be a value to save things that you might need for later. I think this change in values is a result of national wealth in general, although poor people (see Hoarding: Buried Alive) also seem able to afford clutter.

I wrote down, "Clutter is nothing more than postponed  decisions." That makes sense. It's why I can't do menus--because I don't want to decide what to have for dinner. Because what if I don't feel like it?

The last speaker on Monday was Marie Ricks. I love her and I'm very intrigued by her. She is the reason I signed up for Education Week. She was very lively and entertaining. I've been dying to see her in person. She sounds like Olive Oyle. She talked about how the choice to keep is abundant in today's society and encouraged everyone to give away half of everything they own--even perfectly good stuff  in order to counter our tendencies and ability to buy and accumulate. I thought that was interesting. Since we accumulate faster than we can use up, giving away our stuff to DI or Salvation Army is a good way to clothe the naked and help the poor. She also talked about stuff or clutter in terms of talents that we might be hoarding instead of sharing, which I liked because I have no real talents. She has books and cleaning cards and all kinds of stuff that I love and think will change my life. She is also inspiring and creative. Her class was my favorite. I know this kind of thing isn't for everyone, but I have to say that it didn't feel good when I was poring over Marie's books and some bimbo walked by and said "I don't need to read a book about all this stuff. I just do it." People--they're the worst.

Tuesday I didn't go to any classes and it gave me a feeling of elation not unlike skipping class in college. I suggest doing this in order to maximize the positive effects of Education Week. Wednesday I only went to a couple of classes. One was a worthless class about once a month cooking. Here's the summary: You can get recipes online for once a month cooking and then you can do once a month cooking. The next step in this process is to decide a day on which to do your once a month cooking. The teacher was waylaid by a vocal minority interested in the minutia of, incredibly, bottled bread in a jar. Want to know more about bottled bread in a jar? Oh shut up.

I went to a pretty interesting class about how important it is for teenagers to learn how to be friends with the opposite sex. Good friendships between boys and girls aren't modeled in the media. Probably because audiences don't get interested until the main characters start falling in love. But in real life you will only (ideally) be in love with your spouse. Everyone else should really only be your friend. But people don't know how to do this. I've often thought this is a problem. Most adolescent angst comes from seeking out romance instead of being happy with and valuing friendship. Most adolescent making out comes from this too. So that's interesting to worry about.

Then I went to this old guy's fitness class for old people. I really enjoyed it. He taught me, "When in doubt, under do it," and threw a medicine ball at me. The other fitness class I went to was much more specific but essentially taught me not to loathe my body but also not to worship it. Thinking about your body and how fat or skinny it is or thinking about and talking about food all the time with everyone is just like worshiping it so that is actually bad for you in addition to being incredibly boring, which is also a bad thing (IMHO). That teacher was really great and inspiring but then I bought her book which turned out to be a self-published pamphlet with lots of typos and no clear thesis or progression of ideas. So now I don't now what to think or do. Or eat.

The last class I went to was Sheri Dew talking about leadership. She told a story about becoming the president of Deseret Book. She felt nervous and unqualified. She told President Hinckley she didn't know if she was smart enough to run the company and he said, "Just hire the brains!" I guess she's a great leader because apparently she took the job and didn't get hung up on the fact that President Hinckley thinks she's dumb. That's the spirit!

On Friday I only shopped. It was a great way to end the conference. I bought two scarves because I'm finally really going to be into scarves this year. I'm doing it! I also bought suckers for my kids who had to babysit themselves a lot during the conference. It really was fun and I learned a lot. Unfortunately, one of the things I learned was that I'd rather be bored than home. But mostly I wasn't bored. Mostly I had fun. And thanks to my friend's teenage sons for dropping us off and picking us up, I didn't have to walk very far. Perfection. You should consider going next year.

More Cereal Talk and Another Giveaway

I always eat cereal for breakfast and look how I turned out. Please read my vintage LRS post about cereal and how I like it over here.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

People keep asking me if I've seen Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I have. I loved it. I knew I would love it, and I did. It's awesome, or whatever.

Weirdest Dog

To me, this is the weirdest dog:

 It's a Giant Schnauzer. I think it's weird because  I see lots of normal-size schnauzers and  I am used to that. I'm not used to the giant ones. It totally freaks me out.

It's like when the car next to you slowly starts to roll forward and you feel discombobulated like you are going backwards for a second. When I see these huge schnauzers my sense of proportion falters. Did I just get really small? Was that dog created in photo shop?

You expect a Great Dane to be really big. But not a Schnauzer. That's why it's the weirdest dog to me.

Summer Fun

Check out my Summer Fun post and watch footage of the incredibly entertaining and educational game, Here You Go! Also, remember how much you love cereal in general? Leave a comment over there and maybe you'll be the recipient of $100 gift card. The cereal sweepstakes, as I like to call them, are going to be once a week for about three months. I have a feeling you are going to win.

Give Away Winner

And the winner of the $100 Visa Gift card is so and so. Just think--it could be you! It's probably not you, but maybe it is. Savor this moment--imagine what you would buy with $100. Until you click you'll never know. It's kind of better not to know, don't you think? Because right now you can at least hope it is you. This is a moment of great possibility for everyone who reads my blog. Unless your name is Ellie, I suggest you stay here--in this moment of potential joy--because you're going to be really disappointed when you find out who the winner is.

Overexposure

 Oh. Guys. It's so crazy. I feel like my publicist is doing a full-media blast on me. I don't have a publicist but it feels like I do. I mean, a couple months ago I did this for Shep while he was cutting my hair. I'm afraid it's going to go viral! Shep did a great job and it's no wonder--he was wearing his lucky neckerchief. I agreed to be in the clip as long as they didn't show my face because I was afraid my natural lack of enthusiasm would make it look like I didn't like my hair. Notice how Shep describes my hair as a bubble? How does he talk about my hair when I'm not in the room? I kid--it's just show business.

I'm also currently featured here, on my sister-in-law's Ravelry knitting patterns website.

What with all this and the work I'm doing for Kelloggs it's like you can't even turn around without getting a faceful of Kacy! Hope you don't mind.

It seems like the right time to include this interview of myself with myself.

Kacy:  Ravelry. Kelloggs. Shep's hairstyling tips. Kacy, how does it feel?
Kacy: Surreal. And also gratifying.

Kacy: What's next?
Kacy: Oh. Geeze. Who knows. I might sign up for PTA. I might Tweet. I might be quoted in the Ensign. BAM!

Kacy: Do you have a secret blog?
Kacy: No. I mean yes. Wait, no. I definitely don't.

Kacy: Do you ever get tired of talking about parenting, not-very-good-housekeeping, and the books you read?
Kacy: No. As a matter of fact I don't. But the way you asked that makes me think you are sick of it, which is kind of rude.

Kacy: You seem to enjoy writing. Have you ever thought about writing a book?
Kacy:  I'm really glad you asked me that because I do enjoy writing and I am working on a young adult novel. It's called Fangs Are Sexy.

Kacy: From what I hear (primarily on Facebook), most people are too busy to blog. How do you find the time?
Kacy: I don't run marathons or garden. It saves me a lot of time. (Which I use for blogging.)

Kacy: Are you tired?
Kacy: No. I'm just resting my eyes.

Clean Your House

Monday is a special day. It's the day we recover from Sunday. Someone asked me for a playlist to listen to while cleaning her house. You won't get this kind of service from Dooce, y'all. I hope it inspires and energizes you. It is also designed to bring out and soothe the martyr in you. Why should you have to clean the house anyway? Why is it so hard to get a little help around here? Is that so much to ask? Let Bono murmur in your ear. You deserve it. Unless you hate Bono. If that's the case you'll have a good chuckle over his falsetto while the rest of us catch our breath. And if your cleaning routine involves cleaning up excrement, vomit, or urine, take heart--Track #9 is for you. Why Elvis and Willie? Well, Willie's version is more beautiful but I think we'd all rather hear Elvis saying it to us. This is a long playlist because there's a lot of resentment to build up and subsequently let go while you are putting away other people's things. Listen up: When your husband gets home it will be like he already said "sorry."

Serious Parenting Tip--How to Sleep on Your Face

As part of my end-of-summer efforts to get my hands on the wheel of this bus that is spinning out of control (Hint for the literalists among you: the bus is my family), I was sleeping on the floor of Ellen's room last night to break her of the habit of climbing into bed with Maggie several times a night. I wouldn't care that she does this but co-sleeping makes them both crotchety, as it does all of us (I WENT there, Dr. Sears.)

It's going pretty well. I didn't have to spend the whole night on her floor. People without kids are probably going, wait--that's a thing? Spending the night on your kid's floor happens? (They're so cute before they get haggard.) I was thinking about a post I wrote last year for the now defunct Light Refreshments Served. I keep meaning to transfer all my posts from there over to this blog but, you know--I'm asleep on the floor of my kid's room. So I think I'll bring them over one by one with the hope that this will imbue them with a kind of vintage flair. Here's the post I wrote last October about sleeping on your face:

You might think I’m kidding, but I’m not. I just discovered this new way to sleep since having my fourth and final baby. I wish I would have known about it sooner. At the risk of stating something obvious that everyone figured out before me, please allow me to share this day-time sleeping position with you.

With cold and flu season starting up you will probably get sick. It’s ok because there are many cold medicines which are pleasant to take–but only pleasant if you can really lay down and enjoy the grogginess they cause. With kids you know that you of course can not get into your bed. I hear about people who have helpers or friends or family who take their kids or come over when the mom gets sick but that has never happened to me. Of course you can steal a few hours during nap time or TV time or playing with beautiful wooden toy time (myth) but what about when your toddler demands your presence? Mine does almost 100% of the time. Note that I said presence. It doesn’t always have to be full-on attention. 

But they get suspicious if you lay on a pillow–somehow they are very tuned in to your comfort level. And comfort=time to bug you. I can’t sleep on my back–if you can you are lucky. My husband can and he has all kinds of games he plays with the kids while he sleeps on his back such as “build a tower out of pillows on dad” and “dead pioneer.” This might work for you.

For us side and stomach sleepers, it’s not that uncomfortable to lay on the floor and fold your arms under your head and try to rest that way. But take it from me, it won’t last long because your arms fall asleep–you see, I am really serious here. This is serious advice. Here’s what works for me: I lay flat on my face. No one notices or asks me for anything. They think I’m still playing. They can tell I’m totally uncomfortable so they see no need to disrupt me. Then I turn my head to the side. This won’t be comfortable at first. But just let your neck relax and in a few minutes you will settle right in to the carpet (it won’t work on a hard floor). Now here’s the trick: put your arms and hands under the front of your legs. This does two things. It makes you feel like you have covers (which you can’t have because your toddler will pull any blankets off of you to use for herself or a doll). It also takes a little pressure off of your lower back which allows you to actually sleep in this position and remain really quite comfortable for a while.

This is the only way I’ve ever been able to doze off while “playing” with my kids. I hope it helps. I’m so jealous of you back sleepers but tell me, do they jump on you as soon as your eyes close?

Books I Read in July: 2010

I haven't taken the kids to the pool once this summer. (We do go to movies twice a week, though. It's a lot cooler there at the movie theater and you don't have to wear special water-proof clothing.) Lest you comment here about my poor apricot-and-swimming-deprived children just think of this: They see me reading every day! That's the most important thing a mother can do for her child. I'm going to win the fight against illiteracy, one hour reclining on my bed with a book at a time. Here are the books I read in July:


I really like all of Kathy Peel's books. It's kind of ironic, however, that I spend time reading about how to organize swimming lessons and swimming gear when we haven't swum. Swim. Swam. Swum.




***You might feel embarrassed reading this because you will think people will see you reading it and assume your marriage is falling apart but I strongly recommend it anyway--even if your marriage isn't falling apart (and especially if it is). I heard John Gottman on NPR--fascinating stuff. He can accurately predict divorce after observing a couple for about 10 minutes. Want to know what he looks for? Disdain. Eye-rolling. Husbands who refuse to be influenced by their wives. And more.  This book is so useful and interesting. If you read one book on my list this month, it should be this one. Whether you are happily married or not. It gives very specific, practical tips for making any marriage better.



You might feel embarrassed reading this because you will think people will see you reading a graphic novel and assume you are a geek but I recommend this anyway. It is non-fiction--a memoir. It is really good and the story is freaky. I heard this guy on NPR, too. David Small's dad was a radiologist who took tons of x-rays of him as a kid and basically gave him cancer. It's not a very happy story. In fact, it's kind of nightmarish but, you know. People endure. I sat at the park and read the whole thing while my kids played. Maybe we don't go to the pool but we do go to the park and I don't take lots of unnecessary x-rays of them.



Interesting. It's about what it takes to turn around a "bad" New York neighborhood school. And what it takes has less to do with academics and more to do with marketing.



I've had this book for years and read a few sections at a time, but I pulled this out and read it from cover to cover (skipping over the pregnancy parts) because I now have a teenager, 2 school-age kids, and a preschooler. This is probably a good one to buy. It provides reassuring, down-to-earth information and tips for raising, taking care of, and encouraging your kids. It isn't self-righteous and hard to take, like many parenting books. It helps me pick my battles and makes me enjoy my kids more. I really like the author's attitude.



Nice ideas. I don't want to actually do any of them.



Idyllic. Pretty pictures. Then again, I don't care that much about being organic. 



I liked this. It's clever. I didn't rush out to read the second one yet but at some point when I'm in the mood I probably will.

Let me know if you read anything good.

And, PS--I know these Amazon links are really ugly. But they are quick and show the cover of the book without me having to find and save a picture of it. If you buy the book from one of these links I will get money, but it is a small amount. Lots of people have bought books from my links before and I've never been paid any money for it because they don't pay you until you earn $20. I don't know if that makes you more or less inclined to buy a book from Amazon. I get all my books at the library except for the LDS Almanac, the marriage one, and the Family Managers Guide to Summer, which I own. So, in case you were wondering how it works: That is how it works.

Before/After

I was in the mood for a little Before and After action. At first it was motivating. But then it got old.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

After.

Before.

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Before.

After.