Saturday, July 30, 2011

At The Movies

I love going to movies. But I don't like to see most movies twice and I don't like to see movies I'm not interested in. So I am a picky but fervent movie goer. I've seen some movies lately. It's pretty much all I like to do anymore on ye olde date night. I don't know why I used old English just now. It had nothing to do with anything.

First of all, I don't generally like animation. I'm sick of sitting through kids' movies set in the tropic or arctic or at the zoo or with animals of any kind. Been there done that, as they say. Most of the animated kids' movies are worthless and pointless. Right now I'm living in a window of opportunity after toddlers but before grandchildren where I don't have to see those movies if I don't want to. But I did go to Cars 2 because my life insurance company gave us free tickets and full-size candy bars to attend.

Cars 2 is not good, but you can see it with your kids if you like. Let me warn you, however, that it's mostly about Mater. I didn't like Ernest, I don't like Jeff Foxworthy, and I hate Mater. Mater is dumb, embarrassing, and uninteresting. I wouldn't feel guilty or disloyal at all about blowing him off. But maybe I'm just a jerk. Also, I don't care about cars. I take that back. I like those neurotic Chevron cars who are alternately obsessive about the quality of their gas and pleasing their owners. I like those cars. I also usually like Pixar. Yes to Cars 1. YES to Toy Story 1, 2, and 3. No to Cars 2 and here's a prediction: NO to Smurfs. Want to give me a migraine? Put me in a room with Mater, Smurfette, and Katy Perry. Want to give me a seizure? Let Smurfette = Katy Perry. Oh my smurfin' frack.  Who were the ad wizards who came up with that? (And I am asking as a former Kelly Temp who actually worked for a week with The Ad Wizards of Pleasant Grove, UT. )


Limitless is good. But I think I'm less objective since I found out Bradley Cooper speaks french. See it at the dollar movie  with low expectations and you'll be pleasantly surprised. I was. Plus, it contains one of the sickest things I've ever seen at the end. I think Bradley Cooper can carry a whole movie.  I mean, I totally love him as Voldemort.

X-Men: First Class is really great. You know I love comic book movies and even mediocre comic book movies i.e. X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Sometimes I enjoy movies that I know are not "good." But this new X-Men movie is just a great movie. It's really, really good, interesting, and well-done. Michael Fassbender. (Yes--that's a complete sentence. Don't question me--I'm a former English teacher.) I find it so curious that James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender (Dr. X and Magneto) have both played fauns. McAvoy is, of course, Mr. Tumnus and Fassbender turns into a faun in the Blind Pilot video for The Cooper Temple Clause. It's pretty rare to play a faun in the first place but to both be fauns and then to both be the X-Men patriarchs? I just think it's weird that no one is discussing what it means. What does it mean?

Of course I saw Harry Potter 7.2. I should really write a whole post about it but for now suffice it to say that it's a great movie. They did a good job with the movies and it ended well. I'm sad it's over but I like how things turned out. I recommend. Of course I recommend. Some how my life insurance company (who brought me Cars 2) got me into The Deathly Hallows Part 2 a day early and for free. I don't know where this new trend in customer service and life insurance is headed but I like it. I saw  HP7.2 again the next day. Still good.

Crazy, Stupid, Love is also very good. You should know that Dan in Real Life is one of my favorite movies. Steve Carrell at his Dan-in-Real-Life best is really something to see. So is Ryan Gosling. I didn't know he was so great. I thought he was just like Ryan Reynolds--who I make negative assumptions about. Crazy, Stupid, Love is heartwarming, moving, funny, and good. Everyone is in love with the wrong person! Wackiness ensues. It reminds me of a John Hughes movie but with more grown ups.  It's really good.

I still haven't seen Captain America or Cowboys and Aliens. Prediction: I will like them.

Preview preview: Batman! Sherlock Holmes sequel! Gwyneth Paltrow turns gray and dies in Contagion! Planet of the Apes! These all excite me. I love the idea of a Footloose remake but, sadly, the preview looks dumb. Also dumb but well meaning: Gary Marshall's New Year's Eve. If I wanted to see Zac Efron dance again (and I DO) I would reboot Footloose and cast him as Ren McCormack. I would normally be excited about Abduction but I can't watch a movie staring Taylor Lautner. Sorry Team Jacob, he's too cro magnum to take seriously or care about in any role in any movie at any time. But maybe I'm just a jerk.

Movies are fun.

The End. I mean, To Be Continued.

Monday, July 25, 2011

That's Life on the Hellmouth

For whatever reason, I was pretty out of it at the turn of the century so I never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There was no Tivo then and I was starting to have babies. Life was bleak. It was post-graduate school but pre-blog when I was still learning how to have kids and a life. The weird thing about that is--you don't know you don't have a life at the time so you don't care! Did I just loosely equate having a life with watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Let me start again.

When you first start having kids you just read baby books and play baby games and listen to baby music. It's good. You should. It makes you a good mom. But at some point you start to get bored and boring. For me it was iTunes and then blogging that opened or reopened the non-baby world to me. It's 14 years later and look at me! Completely scandalized by nude love scenes on prime time and missing Steve from Blues Clues. Let me start again.

Having checked out from pop culture for about 5 years while having my first two babies I missed watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In all honesty, I remember people talking about it at the time and it sounded dumb. I would never have watched it (even if Tivo had magically been invented earlier than it was) but Ira Glass referred to it when I saw him a few weeks ago. I try to live up to certain exacting standards in my life. I can't not get cultural references made by Ira Glass or I feel shame and have to talk to my bishop, Scott Simon. Just a little NPR joke there--Cool your jets, Glenn Beckers!

So I'm into season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's basically half dumb half awesome. Maybe even 20% dumb and 80% awesome. I think I get the idea but just to be sure I will watch three more seasons and Angel. I also get the Bones thing now--sistahs missed their Angel, right? But I doubt I'll get into Bones. Life's too short--and I say that as a person planning on watching all  7 seasons of Buffy so you know that 1)I mean it and 2)I'm super discriminating. At any rate, it will be fun for you guys to look back at this post when you trace the inception of my Joss Whedon obsession. I feel one coming on. I like to think of all my blog posts as prelude to my eventual arrest at and banning from Comic-Con.

If not for Ira Glass I wouldn't have made it through season one. But the fact is, Buffy is a girl--and a female protagonist is tres interesting in this genre! Around the time Seth Green shows up in season two it's pretty obvious that there's something smart about it. It'll surprise you. I like it.

I also like looking back nostalgically to a time I thought wasn't very long ago. But, judging by the clothes, it was. I long for those square jackets, baggy pants, and anything-goes-pants-hemming. I don't remember not having natural fibers in the late 90s, but I guess we didn't. When did flattering clothing become popular? Was it Stacy and Clinton who ushered it in? It doesn't matter. It means so much to me to see white tights worn un-ironically.

I also noticed that the kissing (there's a lot of it--sometimes it even makes you lose your soul which is a good lesson, I think) is really loud. There must be a trend in sound editing to make it sound quieter. Or maybe the loud chomp chomping was a part of grunge I don't remember. Who can say. I never fully embraced the movement myself.

Now that I'm into season four of Buffy I can FINALLY have a meaningful conversation with Ira.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Word

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Musical Stylings

I write about the books I read each month and you seem to like it so why not tell you about the music I listen to? OK. Maybe you're not interested. But really--what could be MORE interesting than a seven minute slideshow mixing blurry, unphotoshopped images of my children in their Harry Potter costumes with pictures of the Harry Potter cast over the last ten years? What I'm saying is, maybe it's not always about being interesting.

A very nice person gave me an $15 iTunes gift card for my birthday. I would thank them, but they don't read my blog. (Which leads me to ask a philosophical question, If a tree falls in the forest but doesn't read my blog--why would I care?) I've been thinking about what to buy with it since my b-day on 6/18. (See that clock up there on my header? It's a subtle trick I learned from Chris Carter of the X-Files.) I finally spent it yesterday. I didn't want to blow it on any whole albums so I bought individual songs for a treat. I made a playlist of the songs I bought so you can enjoy them for free. I guess I could too. What a waste of money!

I've been into a certain specific aesthetic this year because of The Black Keys. I think The Black Keys sound like a band from the 70s. They are so cool. I love them. Also, I watched the British series "Life on Mars" which is set in the 70s and got me in the mood for 70s-type stuff. [It's a great show, but I can't recommend it even though I love it. Because once you start you won't be able to stop and you'll end up watching the series finale about a porn ring with your eyes closed.] So I'm into that 70s Starsky-and-Hutch-brown-corduroy-pants vibe. That's why I bought "Bell Bottom Blues" by Derek and the Dominoes. You know Derek as Eric Clapton. He is so soulful. That soulfulness has come at a price, of course. It always does. Side note: If someone held a gun to my head and told me I had to choose jazz or blues it would be so easy.  I'd take blues any day. What I'm saying is, Jazz sucks.

Someone Tweeted about how good the Paul Simon Pandora radio station is. I always forget about Paul Simon, you know? It's a great station. I bought "Loves Me Like a Rock." I need more Paul Simon. And if I may say it, so do you.

So then I had to freshen up some of my Fleetwood Mac songs that somehow became corrupted. I agree with Adam Levine that "Landslide" is one of the most beautiful songs ever. Sing it and you'll win The Voice.  Bev had NO CHANCE going up against Stevie Nicks with One Republic--she was robbed! Then again, are there really enough fancy canes (not a euphemism) in this world for Bev AND Adam Lambert? Probably not. I bought "Bleed to Love Her," which is also beautiful. It's just that Lindsay Buckingham is such a d-bag.

I got "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri (What? I'm not a robot) and "Under Cover of Darkness" by The Strokes. Nothing makes me want to go back to high school, join the drill team, and choreograph a dance for halftime more than "Under Cover of Darkness." I think it would bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. Well, I do.

"Percussion Gun" is the coolest song title ever and the beginning sounds like an Adam Ant song. I would have paid $100 for it. Period. Have you ever heard "Teacher Teacher" by Rockpile? I hadn't either. I guess its' from the 80s. It's pretty great. I also got Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah." With "Landslide" it's two of the ten most beautiful songs ever. I like Leonard Cohen's version best, but Buckley's no slouch.

I bought "Here Comes Your Man" by The Pixies for no reason other than I like it. At the end of my playlist I included "Sail" by Awolnation. I bought the whole album a while ago and it is good. But "Sail" is such an arresting song. I wanted you to hear it.

Anything else you think I'd like? I know someone will feel obligated to say Radiohead but here's the thing: I don't like Radiohead. I keep trying to listen to it but the sounds I hear when I do are ugly to me. I am, however, open to other suggestions.

My other favorite band: The Civil Wars
Whole albums I plan to buy with future gift cards: Allison Krauss and Union Station, Adele, Amos Lee, possibly Cults and possibly The Decemberists.

I might think this post was boring if I weren't me, so thank you for tuning in.



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Monday, July 11, 2011

It All Ends

Am I ready for the saga to end? Nope. Take a moment. 

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Transformers 3 is Like a Rock Ballad

Let's get a couple of things straight--I'm not a movie critic and I don't claim to have good taste.

Now, hear what I'm saying: I thought Transformers 3 was kind of rad. I've never seen a Transformer movie before. The first and second Transformer movies looked dumb and slightly pornographic to me so I never watched them. The toys seem fun. I like the idea of transformers. I certainly have nothing against autobots. (Decepticons though--that's another story!)

The Dark Side of the Moon had a pretty awesome trailer, I thought. And the reviews! "Not as ridiculous as the first two." Intriguing, no? Anyway, it was date night and one thing led to another--yada yada yada: We saw Transformers 3 tonight. I can't speak for Christian because he fell asleep during the movie but I enjoyed myself. I liked it way more than Avatar. If you're going to use amazing 3-D special effects let them be for metal coils and gears instead of moist, velvety plug-ins from human-like creatures to animal-like creatures. I just remembered how seriously gross Avatar was.

I don't know much about Michael Bay. But tonight I realized that he has made four promises to himself that he will never break. Here they are:

1. Never film a woman in flats. Heels or nothing.
2. If you use historic footage at the beginning of your movie immediately counter it with a tan woman with no pants.
3. Slow-motion is like italics and should be used without restraint whenever you need to emphasize something.
4. Some people save orchestral crescendos and operatic overtures for one climactic scene at the end of their movie but you can also use them constantly throughout the whole movie. (Promise yourself to do this.)

I found the Transformers themselves oddly compelling--more compelling than the cars in Cars 2, at least. I kind of think they are cool. What does that make me? Immature? Dumb? I dunno. I'm just telling you the truth. Transformers 3 is exactly like a rock ballad. Rock ballads aren't necessarily smart or good but they sure are fun to listen to and not as easy-to-write as you might think. I love rock ballads. Here are four particularly life-changing ones:

Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue
Angel by Aerosmith
Is This Love by White Snake
Silent Lucidity by Queensryche

What can I say? I didn't even mind the spazzy, screamy Shia Labeouf. In fact, he kind of won me over even though I think he's a schmuck in real life. I'm not saying this movie is good and not corny or even that you should go see it. I'm just saying that I liked watching it. I also support the troops and love freedom, which Optimus Prime would think is really great. If there is one thing--no, two things--Optimus Prime cares passionately about it's troops and freedom. He's like Sarah Palin that way. And me.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

What I Read in June: 2011 (Multi-Media Edition)

In June I had a birthday and it was fun. I also read some books. These:

Whatever Happened to Pudding Pops by Gail Fashingbauer Cooper and Brian Cooper. Wonderful. Nostalgic. Love.These people are really qualified to write about stuff we loved in the 70s and 80s because they remember that delicious ice film on the outside of the pudding pops. Tasty! Literally, they don't make 'em like they used to.


Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. One of the best books I've ever read. I recommend.


Bossypants by Tina Fey. How great is Tina Fey? Pretty great, friends.


The Busy Mom's Guide to a Happy Organized Home by Kathy Peel. Kathy is so helpful. Sometimes she makes me feel ashamed, but she has great ideas that work. 



I also read almost all of Little Bee. It's very good. I just wasn't in the mood. Poor Little Bee--can't keep my attention. There's no accounting for taste, little bee.

I also watched two really interesting documentaries on HBO, which we have now, which is a mixed blessing. The first one was about Bobby Fischer. Remember the chess boom? Neither do I.

Bobby Fischer was so awesome,
And yet...so crazy:


It's a pretty sad story, really. But also pretty cool to play the Russian champion and beat him! It's even better than Rocky beating Ivan Drago because it actually happened in real life. And it was way before Rocky IV. It was back when Rocky was just a fat special-needs guy with an ugly special-needs girlfriend. (I can say that because I had a Rocky poster.) Young Bobby Fischer looks like Prince William.

I do remember the tennis boom, which made McEnroe/Borg: Fire and Ice so fun to watch. Tennis is the only sport I've ever actually enjoyed watching. I think we were all into it when Bjorn Borg was around. I'm actually a big John McEnroe fan and their rivalry was so sweet. Wooden rackets! Terry cloth headbands! I just love it so much. I loved 1980s tennis and I love these guys. I loved this show.


John McEnroe looks like Prince Harry.

What can I say? I pretty much just listen to NPR, read, and watch documentaries. (I can say that because I also think SpaghettiOs taste good.)