This is a post about running. I thought you would find it interesting because my jokes about not running marathons are always so well-received. It's true. I don't run marathons or any version of Ks (half, 3, 5, or 50) and I don't really want to and probably won't ever. But who knows. That could change. I don't have anything against people who run ks and marathons. I think it's a respectable goal for people. It's just not my goal. The reason it's not my goal is that I don't like to be around people who are exercising or wearing exercise clothes or tight stretchy bands of any kind or sweating. I also have no desire to exercise, jog, run, or bend in front of other people. I can barely tolerate it in the privacy of my own home. I also don't want to worry about chafing or toenails blackening and falling off. I am already losing the battle between me and my feet for an acceptable aesthetic. But I want you to know I will virtually cheer for you and "like" your runs on Facebook. Please know that. My son joined the cross country team this year. I love to clap for people in races and give them Gatorade!
True story: Yesterday morning I was out and about and I saw a tall, fit man jogging down the street decked out in running clothes and all manner of running gear and my initial visceral reaction was utter repulsion. I don't know why. I just think it's gross. Surely people don't want to see ME out there. Certainly not.
But I'm not completely sedentary. I know you have to exercise to be healthy. It's not like I don't know that. And I want to be healthy. Quick body image overview: If I'm completely honest, I think I am on the positive side of neutral, looks-wise. I think I am a little fat but I truly don't think about it that often until I read blogs or statuses of people who are obviously thinner than me who think they need to lose weight. And then I remember. But I do what I want to do and have enough energy for it. Of course, what I want to do is lay in bed and read but that's not the point, is it? The point is that my little bit of fatness doesn't hold me back. I can carry really heavy things and move furniture up stairs by myself.
Last year I went to an Education Week class about health and fitness. It was kind of aimed at seniors. I got a great perspective from this class. I decided my main fitness goal is to decrease morbidity. I didn't know what the morbidity rate meant but the instructor told us (after setting his medicine ball down and bicycling his legs in the air) it's days of sickness. So there's death (mortality) and there's sickness (morbidity.) Obviously I don't want to die anytime soon, although I admit that the thought of living another 40 years is a little exhausting. But I do want to be healthy until I die. I think we can all agree that the worst thing would be to become fat, sick, and incapacitated for a really long time before you die. Talk about embarrassing! I do not want that.
So I do try to run on my treadmill. I try to run 2 miles a day or 30 minutes or until I have to wipe Ellen's bum. Even then, I cheat by leaving the treadmill going. (It totally thinks I'm still running! Hahahahahahha. Ah, hahahha. Jokes on you, treadmill!) I always hate it. It never feels good during or after. I don't get endorphins, I don't lose weight, I don't get energy, I still get migraines--in fact, I often get what I like to think of as "exertion headaches" when I run or exert myself in any way but Lisa told me they are allergies (and she's right). I'm sure you are thinking that I need to run more in order to get benefits. Well, no doy. I should read Born to Run and try running barefoot? Yes, yes. But I ran barefoot on the treadmill once because I was too lazy to get my shoes on and I had blisters for weeks. Also, I believe that I should read Born to Run and that it is good but why would I? Especially when I could be starting the George Martin series or Ready Player One or, frankly, eating a ding dong and staring at the wall. I'm sure I'd be better at running if I did it more. But I don't want to be good at running. It is at odds with so many things in my life. For example, I like to get up and shower, but if I shower I don't want to run. And if I run I can't shower before taking kids to school and on and on my life is so hard. But. I do my small part to decrease morbidity so bully for me.
Today I put my music on shuffle--my treadmill plays my music and even has a fan! (I still hate it.) Everybody Hurts by REM came on. This is both the best and the worst song to listen to while running. In many ways it is the most demotivating song ever because it is slow and reminds you about pain and suffering and how long the day is. But it is also encouraging because it tells you to hang in there as it plods along. I love that song. As I "ran" at 4 mph I imagined Michael Stipe sitting sideways out of a van with the door open singing to me and dropping roses on my path. (Good thing I'm not barefoot!) Then I imagined him just walking along beside me feeding me a cup of water with one hand and reading tweets on his phone with the other. It was discouraging but when I was done I had burned 165 calories! That's, like, half a ding dong! After 20 minutes I was sure I'd had enough but I hung on. Then I felt like letting go so (against Michael Stipe's advice) I let go. And went into my "cool down." Sometimes my whole "work out" is a "cool down." No matter how long I run or how fast I go, my entire "work out" is never more than the cross country team's warm up lap. That's life. Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends. Don't throw your hand. Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When you read this, don't picture me running.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
For Your Reading Pleasure
Some day I want to henna my hands. But I want it to be an appropriate occasion for doing this. I can't really think of an occasion which calls for hand henna, but when one comes up I plan to take advantage of it. I don't want to be one of those people who goes and gets hand henna just for the heck of it, you know?
I think people over-use the word amazing. It's the only adjective you hear anymore except for awesome. I almost never use it in order to help it retain its power. But I feel like the mom who doesn't push for antibiotics in the midst of over-parenters who insist on getting antibiotics for every little sniffle which will result in a new breed of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. In this comparison antibiotics are amazing and the extra strong bacteria is everything you describe as amazing.
I am so nostalgic about childhood things like the Muppets. The things I'm nostalgic for seem so cool and hip in a retro way. I'm wondering if old people feel the same way about their stupid old stuff. Howdy Doody comes to mind.
I always think, "I shop at DI because I am quirky and interesting but everyone else here is just really poor," and then I realize that's what they are thinking too. About me.
I feel so bad for Julian Lennon. How could John love Sean more than Julian? I think John Lennon might have been a big jerk.
So much about dinosaurs is just speculation.
I got a pretty good idea at Women's Conference last year: Get a cheap Book of Mormon and highlight the heck out of it according to a theme and give it as a gift. For example you could highlight everything about the priesthood and give it to a boy turning 12 or the Young Women values for your daughter. I made one for Ben when he turned 8. I highlighted everything about the devil in red, everything about Jesus in green, and everything about baptism in blue. You get it, right? It's color-coded by light saber colors.
As I look out over my congregation, sit in parent meetings, or when I find myself in various waiting rooms I often muse about how really rare it is to meet a normal person.
Sometimes I think about attending Blogher. The last conference I went to was the 4cs when I was teaching English. I cried from homesickness and my boss slept in a cot at the foot of my bed so it's hard to muster up enthusiasm for another one.
Did you know that hard tack is a cracker? I only learned that this year. I always thought it was some gross kind of candy.
There is nothing wrong with pop music, but it's like strained pears. If you feed it to your children first they'll never develop their palate for vegetables. Remember that.
I look better with short hair and I will prove it:
In the first picture I'm wearing a flattering color and make up. In the second picture I'm wrapped in a blanket with bags under my eyes. OK. The second photo is right now. (I know it's August, but I like to crank the AC and wrap up in a blanket.) (We can't all drive a Prius.) I like the second picture better--bags and all. Maybe you think long hair looks better but you can't prove it--just like dinosaurs. I do believe in dinosaurs. I just don't care about the particulars. Anyway, everyone knows their bones come from parts of planets that are older than the Earth. Kidding! But happy in the fact that I can run for president either way!
I think people over-use the word amazing. It's the only adjective you hear anymore except for awesome. I almost never use it in order to help it retain its power. But I feel like the mom who doesn't push for antibiotics in the midst of over-parenters who insist on getting antibiotics for every little sniffle which will result in a new breed of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. In this comparison antibiotics are amazing and the extra strong bacteria is everything you describe as amazing.
I am so nostalgic about childhood things like the Muppets. The things I'm nostalgic for seem so cool and hip in a retro way. I'm wondering if old people feel the same way about their stupid old stuff. Howdy Doody comes to mind.
I always think, "I shop at DI because I am quirky and interesting but everyone else here is just really poor," and then I realize that's what they are thinking too. About me.
I feel so bad for Julian Lennon. How could John love Sean more than Julian? I think John Lennon might have been a big jerk.
So much about dinosaurs is just speculation.
I got a pretty good idea at Women's Conference last year: Get a cheap Book of Mormon and highlight the heck out of it according to a theme and give it as a gift. For example you could highlight everything about the priesthood and give it to a boy turning 12 or the Young Women values for your daughter. I made one for Ben when he turned 8. I highlighted everything about the devil in red, everything about Jesus in green, and everything about baptism in blue. You get it, right? It's color-coded by light saber colors.
As I look out over my congregation, sit in parent meetings, or when I find myself in various waiting rooms I often muse about how really rare it is to meet a normal person.
Sometimes I think about attending Blogher. The last conference I went to was the 4cs when I was teaching English. I cried from homesickness and my boss slept in a cot at the foot of my bed so it's hard to muster up enthusiasm for another one.
Did you know that hard tack is a cracker? I only learned that this year. I always thought it was some gross kind of candy.
There is nothing wrong with pop music, but it's like strained pears. If you feed it to your children first they'll never develop their palate for vegetables. Remember that.
I look better with short hair and I will prove it:
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Protego Maximus
I saw Harry Potter 7.2 for the third time on Monday with Maggie and Ben. I think the movie is great. I would like to muse on it here. SPOILERS.
Everyone has their favorite scenes from the book that they wish the movie hadn't left out (Slytherin having to choose sides is mine). But for the most part all the big scenes are in the movie and they are done well. After watching it I still wonder how Harry came back to life. Is it a near-death experience? Is he resurrected? Is it magic? I get the symbolism of it. I just wonder how JK Rowling would explain it, exactly.
I am also troubled by just how long Snape stays under cover. After killing Dumbledore his fake allegiance to Voldemort doesn't really seem to gain anything. I guess he is still at Hogwarts keeping an eye on things but it's not like he prevents it from getting very, very bleak. I think it's sad (but cool) to see him and McGonagall face off. Sad for Snape, that is. McGonagall doesn't know that they are on the same side. Are they on the same side? I wonder about Snape. True, the HP series is one of the greatest love stories ever but if not for Lily, would he have remained sympathetic to Voldemort's cause? He did join it in the first place. I love Snape. He is complicated. His death is the most gruesome in the movie: "Nagini, Kill." Yikes. Why would I take my kids to see that! Yo. Children need to know about good and evil. They need to be armed for bear. Bear = evil. It's a personal parenting decision. You have to do what's right for your kids. I personally would (and have) let my kids watch the whole Harry Potter series and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings before I would ever subject them to the indecencies of The Smurfs. But that's me. I really want them to know that good triumphs over evil even if the battle is costly.
I love Neville's speech to rally the troops when everyone thinks Harry is dead. In it Neville enlarges the meaning of the Harry Potter story. It's sad if Harry dies, but he's not the point. They are fighting for a bigger cause. It was a pet theory of mine when I read the books that Neville really was "the chosen one" since he and Harry share a birthday. In a way he was the chosen one because he uses the Sword of Griffindor to kill Nagini. If nothing else, Neville deserves for you to see this:
Surprise! He's all grown up and totally handsome. Good for Neville.
Speaking of growing up, I think it's pretty interesting how Daniel Radcliff never really gets very tall and how that effects the Potter series. I think JK Rowling probably imagined Harry as growing older and becoming more manlike. Radcliff is totally short and remains kind of little-boyish (his future wife grew taller than him 3 movies ago). It makes his stand-off with Voldemort even a little more poignant because he's such a little guy. What if it were Cedric Diggory or even Ron? They turned out to look like grown men. Daniel Radcliff has a hobbit-like quality to him that makes him seem meek, even though he definitely comes of age in the series. His shortness is an attribute JK didn't plan on, and it changes the story. You can't help but imagine him now as you read. I think it would have been great if he had grown into a strapping young man. That's what I imagined when I first read the books before I knew Daniel Radcliff wouldn't grow. But it all worked out in the end. I'm just musing here.
About Dumbledore: I don't love how he is portrayed by Michael Gambon. I would much rather have seen Richard Harris finish the series. But he died. Was that some kind of real-life foreshadowing of Dumbledore's actual (and by actual I mean fictional) death? I really think JK Rowling got sick of everyone second-guessing her and worshiping Dumbledore and comparing him to Gandalf. I think she got sick of him and decided to stress the fallibility of Dumbledore, hence the foibles of his youth. It also seems really mean that he saved Harry to die like a pig for slaughter. But he was a realist and he knew it had to go down like that. It's pretty sad--heartbreaking.
I guess relaying the message about dying like a pig for slaughter was really the only reason Snape stayed under cover so long. But I still feel he could have fought openly for the Order. I think Snape's flashback is about the best thing I've ever seen go from a book to the big screen. Couldn't there be a whole movie about Snape! Don't we all want to know more? And, really, was James Potter just a big jerk? The Lily's of this world never marry the Snapes, do they. I think the doe patronus is about the most beautiful torch anyone has ever carried for an old flame. See what I did there? Mixed metaphor. I actually did it out of laziness. You know what I mean though and it is the best part of the book.
Here here to the actors in part 2. I think it's called selflessness in actor-speak. Many of them have no lines. I think Fred and George have one exchange before Fred dies. (Cry.) Tonks wordlessly reaches out to Remus (Cry) before they are seen among the dead at Hogwarts (Sob...Teddy!...Cry). Ron inconspicuously slinks into his first scene of the movie. No ego. All story. And lest you thought Helena Bonham Carter was just an enthusiastic evil freak--she does a pretty good Hermione too, under bite and all. I have to say, Ralph Fiennes takes a little too much pleasure in playing Voldemort and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And now for the part that chokes me up every time I see it. It's when the teachers go outside to perform protective charms over Hogwarts. Especially when tiny Professor Flitwick extends his wand and murmurs, "Protego Maximus. . . " It's how I feel every day and it's what I'm all about--a tiny person of little consequence doing their best to protect the children in their care.
Am I immature for loving these movies and all movies that tell this story? I guess. But it gives me lots to talk about with 14 year olds--and that's not nothing.
I got Sam two tickets for him and a friend to go to the midnight showing of HP 7.2 on opening night. I asked him which friend he was going to take and he said, "Oh, are there 3 tickets here?"
I know I won't be his plus one forever (cry).
Everyone has their favorite scenes from the book that they wish the movie hadn't left out (Slytherin having to choose sides is mine). But for the most part all the big scenes are in the movie and they are done well. After watching it I still wonder how Harry came back to life. Is it a near-death experience? Is he resurrected? Is it magic? I get the symbolism of it. I just wonder how JK Rowling would explain it, exactly.
I am also troubled by just how long Snape stays under cover. After killing Dumbledore his fake allegiance to Voldemort doesn't really seem to gain anything. I guess he is still at Hogwarts keeping an eye on things but it's not like he prevents it from getting very, very bleak. I think it's sad (but cool) to see him and McGonagall face off. Sad for Snape, that is. McGonagall doesn't know that they are on the same side. Are they on the same side? I wonder about Snape. True, the HP series is one of the greatest love stories ever but if not for Lily, would he have remained sympathetic to Voldemort's cause? He did join it in the first place. I love Snape. He is complicated. His death is the most gruesome in the movie: "Nagini, Kill." Yikes. Why would I take my kids to see that! Yo. Children need to know about good and evil. They need to be armed for bear. Bear = evil. It's a personal parenting decision. You have to do what's right for your kids. I personally would (and have) let my kids watch the whole Harry Potter series and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings before I would ever subject them to the indecencies of The Smurfs. But that's me. I really want them to know that good triumphs over evil even if the battle is costly.
I love Neville's speech to rally the troops when everyone thinks Harry is dead. In it Neville enlarges the meaning of the Harry Potter story. It's sad if Harry dies, but he's not the point. They are fighting for a bigger cause. It was a pet theory of mine when I read the books that Neville really was "the chosen one" since he and Harry share a birthday. In a way he was the chosen one because he uses the Sword of Griffindor to kill Nagini. If nothing else, Neville deserves for you to see this:
Speaking of growing up, I think it's pretty interesting how Daniel Radcliff never really gets very tall and how that effects the Potter series. I think JK Rowling probably imagined Harry as growing older and becoming more manlike. Radcliff is totally short and remains kind of little-boyish (his future wife grew taller than him 3 movies ago). It makes his stand-off with Voldemort even a little more poignant because he's such a little guy. What if it were Cedric Diggory or even Ron? They turned out to look like grown men. Daniel Radcliff has a hobbit-like quality to him that makes him seem meek, even though he definitely comes of age in the series. His shortness is an attribute JK didn't plan on, and it changes the story. You can't help but imagine him now as you read. I think it would have been great if he had grown into a strapping young man. That's what I imagined when I first read the books before I knew Daniel Radcliff wouldn't grow. But it all worked out in the end. I'm just musing here.
About Dumbledore: I don't love how he is portrayed by Michael Gambon. I would much rather have seen Richard Harris finish the series. But he died. Was that some kind of real-life foreshadowing of Dumbledore's actual (and by actual I mean fictional) death? I really think JK Rowling got sick of everyone second-guessing her and worshiping Dumbledore and comparing him to Gandalf. I think she got sick of him and decided to stress the fallibility of Dumbledore, hence the foibles of his youth. It also seems really mean that he saved Harry to die like a pig for slaughter. But he was a realist and he knew it had to go down like that. It's pretty sad--heartbreaking.
I guess relaying the message about dying like a pig for slaughter was really the only reason Snape stayed under cover so long. But I still feel he could have fought openly for the Order. I think Snape's flashback is about the best thing I've ever seen go from a book to the big screen. Couldn't there be a whole movie about Snape! Don't we all want to know more? And, really, was James Potter just a big jerk? The Lily's of this world never marry the Snapes, do they. I think the doe patronus is about the most beautiful torch anyone has ever carried for an old flame. See what I did there? Mixed metaphor. I actually did it out of laziness. You know what I mean though and it is the best part of the book.
Here here to the actors in part 2. I think it's called selflessness in actor-speak. Many of them have no lines. I think Fred and George have one exchange before Fred dies. (Cry.) Tonks wordlessly reaches out to Remus (Cry) before they are seen among the dead at Hogwarts (Sob...Teddy!...Cry). Ron inconspicuously slinks into his first scene of the movie. No ego. All story. And lest you thought Helena Bonham Carter was just an enthusiastic evil freak--she does a pretty good Hermione too, under bite and all. I have to say, Ralph Fiennes takes a little too much pleasure in playing Voldemort and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And now for the part that chokes me up every time I see it. It's when the teachers go outside to perform protective charms over Hogwarts. Especially when tiny Professor Flitwick extends his wand and murmurs, "Protego Maximus. . . " It's how I feel every day and it's what I'm all about--a tiny person of little consequence doing their best to protect the children in their care.
Am I immature for loving these movies and all movies that tell this story? I guess. But it gives me lots to talk about with 14 year olds--and that's not nothing.
I got Sam two tickets for him and a friend to go to the midnight showing of HP 7.2 on opening night. I asked him which friend he was going to take and he said, "Oh, are there 3 tickets here?"
I know I won't be his plus one forever (cry).
Friday, August 05, 2011
Last Night
Last night something very special happened. I was invited to Jordan Commons to see The Help for free because I am a rad blogger. . . I guess? So my plus one [Lisa] and I casually but excitedly drove to Jordan Commons and enjoyed a wonderful movie. Well, that's what could have happened. Instead we entered Jordan's Landing into our geo-tracking device and were too late to get a place in The Help at Jordan Commons when we eventually got there. (Who names two theaters almost the same thing?) I guess they don't hold seats--even for rad bloggers. It was a serendipitous turn of events, as you will see.
We bought tickets to Captain America whichlet'sbehonest sounded a little more exciting than The Help. Captain America is great. It looks amazing. I love Cap's outfit. It's really perfect. And the shield which seems a little cumbersome is actually quite awesome in the movie. (Just like Thor's hammer.) Stay after the credits and you'll be excited. Joss Wheden is driving The Avengers bus and I am so on board. Captain America is enjoyable and well done. X-Men: First Class is still better. Well, it is.
We were some of the last people to leave the theater and as we walked out Lisa made an off-handed comment about going to another movie. Right then and there. Another movie. Chuckle chuckle. As if! Well, friends. Ima tell you what we did. We did it. We sent some texts and made some calls and we got right back in line and went to a second movie. Two ladies. Two movies. Two 44 ounces of soda [each] (totaling 176 oz).
We chose the 10:15pm showing of Cowboys and Aliens. The experience of going to two movies in a night was divine and unprecedented. It's how I want to live. I give an A+ to the premise of Cowboys and Aliens. Cowboys? And Aliens? Yes. And yes! But--and here's the twist--there's no twist. There's no meta. It's not self-aware. It's awesome, in it's way (the aliens are SCARY) but in a world where Inception exists, I can't get super excited about a one-note western even if the one note is Daniel Craig. He is so good, by the way, and can carry a movie just by wearing chaps and walking around. The gruff voice-offs with Harrison Ford are also a bonus, to be sure, but aside from being a part of the greatest night of my life Cowboys and Aliens is just fair to middling. Still, I wouldn't change a thing about last night.
How do I see so many movies? How do I read so many books? How do I blog so much? How do I do it?
I'll tell you how: By not running marathons.
We bought tickets to Captain America whichlet'sbehonest sounded a little more exciting than The Help. Captain America is great. It looks amazing. I love Cap's outfit. It's really perfect. And the shield which seems a little cumbersome is actually quite awesome in the movie. (Just like Thor's hammer.) Stay after the credits and you'll be excited. Joss Wheden is driving The Avengers bus and I am so on board. Captain America is enjoyable and well done. X-Men: First Class is still better. Well, it is.
We were some of the last people to leave the theater and as we walked out Lisa made an off-handed comment about going to another movie. Right then and there. Another movie. Chuckle chuckle. As if! Well, friends. Ima tell you what we did. We did it. We sent some texts and made some calls and we got right back in line and went to a second movie. Two ladies. Two movies. Two 44 ounces of soda [each] (totaling 176 oz).
We chose the 10:15pm showing of Cowboys and Aliens. The experience of going to two movies in a night was divine and unprecedented. It's how I want to live. I give an A+ to the premise of Cowboys and Aliens. Cowboys? And Aliens? Yes. And yes! But--and here's the twist--there's no twist. There's no meta. It's not self-aware. It's awesome, in it's way (the aliens are SCARY) but in a world where Inception exists, I can't get super excited about a one-note western even if the one note is Daniel Craig. He is so good, by the way, and can carry a movie just by wearing chaps and walking around. The gruff voice-offs with Harrison Ford are also a bonus, to be sure, but aside from being a part of the greatest night of my life Cowboys and Aliens is just fair to middling. Still, I wouldn't change a thing about last night.
How do I see so many movies? How do I read so many books? How do I blog so much? How do I do it?
I'll tell you how: By not running marathons.
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Be Better Than Me
For some reason I don't like answering the phone. I dread it. My mom is the same way. I used to think she was so weird about it. The actual talking on the phone presents problems such as: My kids talk to me and I can't hear; What if I have nothing to say? How do I politely get off the phone when it is time? What if my phone dies right before I say "Bye" and then I have to call back just to say "Bye"?
But mostly I don't like answering the phone because I think someone is calling to ask me to do something I don't want to do. I don't want to do most things so this is a real problem for me. You might say, "Don't be such a negative party pooper." But I can't help it. I don't like doing things. It taxes me. In the olden days they would just say I'm full of black bile and leave it at that.
Phone calls aren't always bad, of course. Sometimes it's Lisa calling to say she is standing on my front porch with 2 cheeseburgers [for me] [and two cheeseburgers for her]. That is a happy surprise. Room motherss, ward members, etc, etc, etc, are not always happy surprises. Copying the ward newsletter? Cleaning the church? Doing a game for a classroom party? Having Christian fill in for whatever ward member is calling to cancel? None of these things are a big deal. They are small. But all of them effect me severely. It's like I'm handicapped. Sometimes I'll feel grumpy and Christian will wonder what's wrong and as we discuss it we realize I am in a bad mood because I have to do a Fishing Pond Game for the kids' school that day. I do it. And it's never as bad as I think. Sometimes it is. But usually it's not. Look, I'm not trying to excuse myself. But it's true. I can't do things a normal person can. I think it might be because I'm not a good person. We're all working on being better. I'm no exception.
The other day Christian's grandma called. My instinct is always to ignore the phone but one time she called to give me this old wooden recipe box. I had been trying to buy one online for my Maria Ricks chore cards. She found one at her house and gave it to me. I'm so glad I didn't screen that call. (And by the way, my housekeeper loves dusting that recipe box full of chore cards.) So I answered the phone and Christian's grandma tells me she has a bunch of school supplies for me to give to my sister who works at The Road Home. Of course I feel like a big jerk because not only did I not know The Road Home really needs school supplies, but also I almost didn't even pick up the phone. So that was pretty nice of her. She usually donates through her crocheting group, the Loony Loomers but apparently she wanted to bypass the Loomers and donate directly to my sister. I don't know what's going on there. I do not want to get involved.
So I picked up a couple Route 44s with lime and went over to get the supplies. We chatted a bit. Apparently she has tumors on her thyroid. She's not surprised because this runs in her family. In fact, her mom or grandma had a goiter so big she choked on it! I was dying. I was so freaked out by the prospect of a goiter. I was all, "You are NOT going to get a goiter!" And she was all, "No f-ing way." Just kidding about the F. Anyhoo. Point is: I don't have a goiter [knock on wood] but I do get sad when I have to take treats to a party I signed up for. I think maybe I lack strength of character.
Anyhoo. Pont is: If you'd like to send me/drop off a school backpack, school supplies, or a gift card for the Road Home you should. (1311 Camelot Dr Provo, Ut 84601) I will try not to act put out about having to deliver it to my sister. Be better than me. Also, donate online here. For Salt Lake natives, Apple Tree works.
But mostly I don't like answering the phone because I think someone is calling to ask me to do something I don't want to do. I don't want to do most things so this is a real problem for me. You might say, "Don't be such a negative party pooper." But I can't help it. I don't like doing things. It taxes me. In the olden days they would just say I'm full of black bile and leave it at that.
Phone calls aren't always bad, of course. Sometimes it's Lisa calling to say she is standing on my front porch with 2 cheeseburgers [for me] [and two cheeseburgers for her]. That is a happy surprise. Room motherss, ward members, etc, etc, etc, are not always happy surprises. Copying the ward newsletter? Cleaning the church? Doing a game for a classroom party? Having Christian fill in for whatever ward member is calling to cancel? None of these things are a big deal. They are small. But all of them effect me severely. It's like I'm handicapped. Sometimes I'll feel grumpy and Christian will wonder what's wrong and as we discuss it we realize I am in a bad mood because I have to do a Fishing Pond Game for the kids' school that day. I do it. And it's never as bad as I think. Sometimes it is. But usually it's not. Look, I'm not trying to excuse myself. But it's true. I can't do things a normal person can. I think it might be because I'm not a good person. We're all working on being better. I'm no exception.
The other day Christian's grandma called. My instinct is always to ignore the phone but one time she called to give me this old wooden recipe box. I had been trying to buy one online for my Maria Ricks chore cards. She found one at her house and gave it to me. I'm so glad I didn't screen that call. (And by the way, my housekeeper loves dusting that recipe box full of chore cards.) So I answered the phone and Christian's grandma tells me she has a bunch of school supplies for me to give to my sister who works at The Road Home. Of course I feel like a big jerk because not only did I not know The Road Home really needs school supplies, but also I almost didn't even pick up the phone. So that was pretty nice of her. She usually donates through her crocheting group, the Loony Loomers but apparently she wanted to bypass the Loomers and donate directly to my sister. I don't know what's going on there. I do not want to get involved.
So I picked up a couple Route 44s with lime and went over to get the supplies. We chatted a bit. Apparently she has tumors on her thyroid. She's not surprised because this runs in her family. In fact, her mom or grandma had a goiter so big she choked on it! I was dying. I was so freaked out by the prospect of a goiter. I was all, "You are NOT going to get a goiter!" And she was all, "No f-ing way." Just kidding about the F. Anyhoo. Point is: I don't have a goiter [knock on wood] but I do get sad when I have to take treats to a party I signed up for. I think maybe I lack strength of character.
Anyhoo. Pont is: If you'd like to send me/drop off a school backpack, school supplies, or a gift card for the Road Home you should. (1311 Camelot Dr Provo, Ut 84601) I will try not to act put out about having to deliver it to my sister. Be better than me. Also, donate online here. For Salt Lake natives, Apple Tree works.
