Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Barnacles Are Sick

For about a week after I watched an episode of Dirty Jobs where Mike Rowe cleaned barnacles off a buoy I could not stop thinking about barnacles. They invaded my thoughts almost constantly while I was driving and I couldn't shake it. There were dirty puffy drifts of snow along the side of the road and it reminded me of barnacles.
I was surprised by the crusty hard and soft texture of barnacles, and so was Mike Rowe. He said they were like scrambled eggs inside. I have to try hard not to think about barnacles because I can imagine them slowly forming on the back of my arms and on the top of my scalp like some kind of extreme and hideous cradle cap. Isn't it gross? Barnacles really bother me.I guess any kind of unwanted and unchecked growth bothers me. Maybe it's an underlying fear of cancer? An obsessive compulsion for exfoliation? One of my worst nightmares was when I dreamed I grew a big fleshy dome on the top of my head and Christian freaked me out for years by reminding me of this lady I saw in the BYU Bookstore with evenly-spaced and uniformly-shaped red dots all over her neck and face. As you can imagine, watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is out of the question.

15 comments:

  1. I wish I could live inside your head for a little while. It's so entertaining in there.

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  2. Wow, when I read the title of this post, I thought maybe you were going to go on an enviro-rant about how barnacles are a bellweather for oceanic pollution, etc. Not that there's anything wrong with enviro-rants... But I was pleasantly surprised to find that nothing in your post distracted my from imagining Mike Rowe doing his dirty job. Except maybe that reference to massive cradle-cap. Ew.

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  3. I totally understand how you feel. Another thing that disturbs me and that is in the same family as barnacles is when there's like a web of tar on the road. CREEPY! I can hardly stand to drive on it. This is also why I hate the ground beef at Walmart.

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  4. Have you seen Spider-Man 3? You will hate the venom suit! It's like a web of tar that is sentient, if you can imagine.

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  5. Dude, I knew there was a reason why I was steering clear of Spiderman 3!

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  6. Great post...
    such description...
    such sickness.

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  7. Barnacles are sick.

    I was watching Whale Rider the other day and was thinking it was really weird that the whale had "built in" barnacle handlebars so that Paikea wouldn't fall off.

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  8. Spider-Man 3 DID have that really creepy suit--now I know why I hate it. Thank you for giving me a voice.

    I will admit that I don't know anything about barnacles, but I hate them too because you're THAT persuasive!

    (bonus questions: which one of the dirty jobs demonstrated by Mike Rowe would you least despise?)

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  9. mushroom farmer

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  10. Couldn't even watch Pirates with all of those barnacle-covered characters. Makes me so sick. In fact, I couldn't read this post until I was in a good place. But the whole egg observation has totally reduced me to disturbia.

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  11. One of my most vivid childhood dreams was that I had developed a condition where barnacles grew on my skin. I had to take a bath each night to soften them up and remove them. In a way, it was beyond horrifying, but somehow, even in the dream, I was also completely fascinated/obsessed with them. I must have had this dream 20 years ago, but I still have the weird repulsion/fascination with barnacles.

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  12. Thats crazy! I found this link because last night I had a dream that Barnacles were growing on my chest...it was extremly disturbing to say the last. But I totally agree with you and I personally find them creepy and really dislike how they attach themselves to everything and multiply...vomit.

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  13. Anonymous7:22 PM

    your fear is called trypophobia, i have it too. it is not specific to barnacles but they can be a trigger for it. don't google it, for the love of god.

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  14. OmG SOMEONE that feels how I feel. Barnacles bother me and solar panels bother me.

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