Reminiscing Unfondly about Sleep Deprivation

I am [knock on wood] doing great. I don't feel depressed, mad, tired, overwhelmed, and out of it like I did the first ten years of having kids. I am sure this has everything to do with getting more sleep. If you are in the thick of sleep deprivation it might make you cry to think about other people getting a good night's sleep. I am not saying this to make you feel worse. I just want you to know that there is hope. Sure--it's many, many years away (depending on how many babies you have) but it exists. You might think you are inept at things, can't get it together, don't understand how other people actually do things.  It's not you, it's sleep. Just know that you are not functioning on full capacity and you won't for a while. I wrote this two years ago: 

I’m lucky because my youngest child, now almost 2, has always slept perfectly and easily. Before you decide to hate me like we hate those people who just can’t seem to gain weight, know that I have 3 other kids who have put me through the ringer. Christian and I are so over staying up all night with kids. We can’t take it. It’s as if little Ellen came to us knowing that one more round of crawling away from the crib on our hands and knees while holding our breath would kill us.

That said, Ellen is going through a phase. I refuse to think of it as anything else (like a permanent change–Don’t even SAY that). She’s napping irregularly and waking up all night. I blame daylight savings. And diaper rash. And a growth spurt. And, in a moment of desperation last night with a flashlight, pin worms. I also blame the devil. It really sucks. The crying, the numbness of arms, the obsessive adding and subtracting to figure out the hours of sleep you will or will not get, letting her cry for too long,  giving in and regretting giving in but wishing you would have just given in and put on Super Why 5 hours ago. As awful as it is, it does make me appreciate that it is not always like that anymore. It used to ALWAYS be like that. With little non-sleeping kids, you live like a zombie and you don’t even know it until you come out of the haze 11 years later feeling refreshed. And suddenly you have the time and stamina to foster dogs, sew dresses, and blog like a mother.

I’m sure I’ll miss my babies when they are grown (people always say you do). But here’s some food for thought: What if I don’t? I have an 11-year-old and while I occasionally feel pangs as he grows, I don’t miss him as a baby. Now he’s fun to talk to, has good taste in books and movies, can carry stuff, and knows how to make quesadillas. What’s to miss?

I just want to say that I get even more sleep now because I regularly take a nap while Ellen watches a show in the afternoon. I do have to stay up late in order to pick up my son--now 14--from games and activities but for the most part life is getting better. And I still don't miss having a baby. I mean, I like babies and I appreciate them and remember my babies as being cute but I don't miss it. So if I can spare you the guilt you feel when old ladies tell you to "Enjoy this time" I would like to do that. You should enjoy it if you can but if you don't--don't feel bad.

No Pictures Please: Merchant of Venice

Last weekend my mom and I took the kids to one of my favorite Shakespeare plays at BYU.  It was only 50 minutes, which was sweet. My kids hate having their pictures taken and now even Ellen screams, "Don't put this on your blog!"

Oh, navigating the digital age with children! 

One of my blogging goals this year was to actually sign in to my Instagram account and learn how to put pictures on my blog in a grid-like formation as you see above. Done. People on Twitter taught me how. Are you glad they did?

 Oh, navigating the digital age with myself!

Still Awesome: Ferris Bueller?

Ugh. If Ferris Bueller is this old, what does that make me?



But yes, Ferris Bueller's Day Off will always be awesome. I'm not sure if it's timeless in its humor or coolness. Probably not? But for us it was mind-blowingly meta before meta was even a thing. GET THIS: At the end of the movie Ferris Bueller looks at the audience and tells them to, "Go home--the movie's over!" Have you seen Citizen Kane? I found it quite boring. But apparently its use of flashbacks was incredibly mind-blowing at the time. Ferris Bueller is the same. Remember when Lost flashed forward? That was so great!

Book Report: The Submission

The first book I read this year was The Submission: A Novel. It's very interesting and smart. A Muslim is chosen anonymously to design the 9/11 memorial. When people find out that he's a Muslim, they go nuts. I LOVE the ending so if you finish it and want to talk about it, I'm here for you.

This book is fiction but you know it's sort of like what really happened with the memorial, right?  Oh I just love interestingness. The Submission is one of the best books I've read all year. It sure feels good to call this a "Book Report." It's a short post about a book I liked which I read entirely and didn't skim. The "Book Reports" I gave in high school were a little bit the opposite of what I just said.

Growing a Boy: Sam

It takes a long time and I'm still not done.

 

 

But he got his braces off today--so I can cross that off the list.

 

Still Awesome: Chevy Chase?

There was a time when Chevy Chase was awesome.



Is he still awesome?

I say, No.