What to Read in a Post-Trump World

I think the election of Donald Trump was a terrible mistake, is an embarrassment to our country, and marks a low point in American democracy.

When the election was officially called for Trump,  I felt a terrible, sinking feeling I can only describe as sick at heart. It's the feeling I have when I face choices that are wrong, think about serious regrets, or hear that something awful has happened to a friend. Truly, I can't believe this happened.

While I think I understand the economic motives and "swamp-draining" impulses Trump supporters cite and I don't think all Trump voters are bigots, they did wittingly turn the country over to one. It doesn't seem right and it makes me sad that any American would consider him a viable option.

Since the election, Trump has proven to be immoral, incompetent, uninspired, and uninspiring. He surrounds himself with terrible people and gives voice to racism and misogyny. To make matters worse, our Republican Congress has shown an appalling lack of integrity by providing zero oversight (especially Paul Ryan). It's disheartening.

I know a lot of people have become much more politically active since the presidential election and have decided to run for office. It feels expedient to do something. Personally, I have picked two areas to focus my efforts on: literacy and compassion. By my calculations, more of both = less Trump and Trumplike thinking.

I've been reading some good books that have helped me think about politics and citizenship and to articulate the values that I apparently need to be a lot more intentional and explicit about exemplifying and promoting.

Charlie Sykes' How the Right Lost its Mind is a good description of what happened leading up to the 2016 election from a conservative viewpoint. I started noticing Sykes' insightful tweets after the election, so I decided to read his book.



George Lakoff's Moral Politics gave me a good overview of what Republicans and Democrats believe. Lakoff is a democrat and ultimately makes the case for his affiliation, but I found it fair-minded. Even though a lot of Mormons are Republicans, it is because of rather than in spite of my religion that I identify with a lot of democratic ideals. Mormon pioneers are the only group of western emigrants who famously left the trail better than they found it so that others might benefit from the crops they planted and the paths they cleared. I believe giving a leg-up to the person coming along behind you is better than insisting that they bootstrap it. Lakoff's book shows the expression of values and ideals for both parties and I think it's useful.



I read Ta-Nehisi Coate's Atlantic article "Donald Trump is the First White President" and decided to read his whole book of essays, We Were Eight Years in Power.  It feels uncomfortable to think about the ways in which what is happening now in politics is a backlash against the first African-American president, but, unfortunately, much of it is. If we don't understand it we can't take steps to improve it. Coates has important things to say.



I've mentioned Richard Weissbourd's The Parent's We Mean to Be before. It's one of my favorite parenting books. I reread it lately and was struck again by its relevance. Weissbourd contends that to be good parents we need to be good people. He encourages parents to become more disciplined and selfless in our interactions with our children. Just like our kids, we are growing and improving. He says,

"The subtleties of appreciating and being generous with others, acting with fairness and integrity, and formulating mature and resilient ideals are a life's work."

I would like this to be my life's work. Fostering this kind of moral growth seems to be the antidote to Trumpism, which is why I'm recommending this book again.



Any other suggestions for books to read in a post-Trump world?

Blog Update, Recommendations, and a Word to Moms

When Ellen got very interested in hamsters, started researching them obsessively, and requested one for Christmas I tried to find my old blog post, "This is How I Really Feel About Our Pet Hamster." In it I describe how much I hate our [now long-dead] hamster. I could not find it. This troubled me. You guys don't even know how many blog posts I've written or for how long I've been blogging. Lots and long time. Christian finally found the blogpost, here. (But it was too late! I had already purchased and had been hiding a Syrian Teddybear hamster for Ellen in my closet for a week.)

I really want to be able to read and find all of my old posts and I want my kids to be able to read all of them because they star in many of them. When I'm dead they'll be so glad they have my posts. But right now my archives aren't easily accessible. So I'm trying to go through and organize things better with tags and tabs. It's a big project! For now you can poke through my archives via the topics to the right, but I know it's not ideal.

Also at right is my faves list. My blog has always been driven by faves. Last month all my faves were books. In case you missed them, January's picks were The Lake House by Kate Morton, a long and lovely mystery novel set in England; All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, one of my all-time favorite books set in France during World War II; The Road to Character by David Brooks, an interesting and thorough look at what it takes to be a good person; and the new Illustrated Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. You will be shocked to learn that I never read this book. I only started listening in to Christian reading it out loud to Sam at bedtime about halfway through the book. I love the new illustrated version and I'm enjoying reading it for the first time. If only I could read all of the Harry Potter books again for the first time.

February's faves include season 1 of X-Files. I love the X-Files. The show was the training ground for some really talented TV writers (Vince Gilligan of Breaking Bad got his start there) and it was genre-busting and ground-breaking in ways that we take for granted now. Watching it with my kids I'm like every old person that can't quite convey how earth-shattering it was to see the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show. "WE HAD NEVER SEEN SEASON-LONG ARCS BEFORE! IT BLEW OUR MINDS!"

As you know they have resurrected the X-Files with the original cast, show-runner, and writers for a 6-episode mini-season that is 2 episodes in with the third airing tonight. The first episode was not great, but it got the job done. The last movie was in 2008 and the show has been off the air since 2002, so there was some catching up to do. My favorite thing about it is that they used the exact same opening credits that they used for all 9 seasons of the show. The second episode was better and, according to critics, the show picks up steam from here on out.

I highly recommend watching every season of the X-Files for cultural well-roundedness. Remember, I went back and watched all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer at great personal sacrifice after never watching it when it originally ran in the 90s. We make time for the things that matter most. Every season of X-Files has several must-watch episodes. It's so good.

I'm also recommending a nice face cream that I like. I hope to become a lady who uses an expensive french moisturizer sparingly every night and is so beautiful that I only have to wear mascara in addition to that. I'm not there yet but it seems possible with this Lait Creme that has a cult following. I basically love anything with a cult following.

I recommend In Cold Blood if you've never read it and you like long, detailed, true-crime stories that are somewhat bleak. I actually listened to the audio book.

And finally, a good friend gave me a grieving-missionary-mom care package for Christmas that included the book, A Hobbit, A Wardrobe, and a Great War: How J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis Rediscovered Faith, Friendship, and Heroism in the Cataclysm of 1914-1918. It's non-fiction about fiction—one of my favorite genres.

For now, peruse the archives from my old stuff. I'm the mom of 4 kids ages 8-18 now, but all those humans were babies once. I birthed them and raised them and suffered through the trials of momness just like some of you are suffering now. The experience of motherhood feels so singular at times, which can be amazing, but it can also be alienating and sad. You're not alone! The "old moms" who you think can't relate to you because they can shower and grocery shop alone have been there and done that and we want you to know that we love you and you are doing a great job and we are all in this together even though some of us are awake at night missing our missionaries and waiting for kids to come home from dates and some of us are awake at night with colicky babies and toddlers who won't stay in their beds. Here, look:Momness, Obvious Tips for Not-Very-Good Homemakers, Parenting: Bandwagon Dorkiness

More Boooooooks

I don't mean to inundate you with book recommendations but I have a lot to catch up on. Anyway, what's better than starting Fall cozily with a big pile of to-reads? I thought so.

My favorite book that I've read (listened to on Audible) this year is The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown. It's about collegiate competitive rowing. You're thinking, how can a book about rowing be compelling? It's masterfully done and I gave this book 5 stars. Learning the background of the boys in the boat makes you love and root for them, especially considering most of the competition in rowing is rich frat boys from the Ivy League. 

The University of Washington trained a scrappy team of lumberjacks and miners who made their way to the 1936 Olympics in Berlin — the Olympics with Jesse Owens and Adolf Hitler. When they were set to travel, coxswain Bobby Moch (spoiler alert) received a very serious letter from his dad telling him he had a secret to finally share with him: He was Jewish. I mean, can you imagine this time in history? Leading up to WW II the triumph of these boys in the boat is wonderful and feels important. You'll root for them too. It's such a great book and you can give it to everyone for Christmas. Dads, especially, will love it. Look at Bobby Moch. What a guy.

The Americans wore their old sweatshirts for the race because they didn't want to get their new Olympic uniforms muddy. I have a theory that they didn't want to give up their new jerseys if they lost (that was the tradition). Either way, the emotional appeal of the scruffy underdogs beating some nazis is pretty powerful.

Speaking of underdogs, another one one of my favorite books lately is David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell. This is a great little book about how the quality that makes someone an underdog can actually be a strength. David was quick and better at fighting than the loping-probably-partially-blind Goliath. Kids with dyslexia or some other disadvantage can fail, but when they do succeed they do better than people who have an easier time in school. Malcolm Gladwell is always interesting and this is no exception. It's pretty inspiring too if you need a pep talk on turning your weaknesses into strengths. The end of the book made me cry. I loved this book and you should read it. 

I read Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch last year and it stuck with me in a troubling way for a long time. I can't say that I whole-heartedly recommend this book. The worldview presented in this story is much bleaker than my own. It seems to be saying that life is ugly and horrible so we need art. I tend to believe that life can be ugly and horrible but that it can also be beautiful and that art is something that inspires us and helps us to see that beauty. This book is amazing and awful. It's sad and has some long R-rated stretches, as many coming-of-age stories about teenage boys often do. (Ew.) I could not stop thinking about the main character, Theo, for days after I read it. The story is centered around this painting, which is real. A bomb goes off in a museum and Theo, as a child, saves the painting. Then he has it for years while everyone else (including the art curator who becomes his guardian) thinks it was stolen. If you've read this and you are having PTSD as a result, we can talk about it here. 

The Migraine Brain by Carolyn Bernstein and Elaine McArdle is a must-have for my fellow migrainuers. (I know there are a lot of you.) Exhaustive, informative, and useful, this book will help you figure out what's going on and what do do when you get a migraine. Having a plan in place and friends who understand reduces the anxiety and fear of getting a migraine and will probably actually help you get fewer migraines. This book is really helpful. 

A Few Good Books

One of the main reasons I started this blog is to talk about the books I read. Sure, I'm on Good Reads (I hope we're friends), but it's not the same because the other reason I started this blog is to refer to Jack Nicholson's Code Red speech from A Few Good Men whenever I want. (See below. Language.)

Here are some of the best books I've read.

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood: This book is so good it discouraged me totally from becoming a writer of novels because I could never write anything like it. It's the story of a woman and her sister over a lifetime with lots of secrets and stories within stories. 

 

To Show and to Tell by Phillip Lopate: I hesitate to post this because if I ever decide to teach an online blogging class I will teach secrets from this book. Phillip Lopate is so good at explaining what makes narrative non-fiction good you'll want to devote your life to the writing of it. 

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke: I borrowed this book from my friend Carrie for about 10 years before I finally ordered it from Audible and listened to it while I weeded my flower beds. It's a giant book, but well worth reading. This book is a fantastic history (complete with copious footnotes) of the restoration of true magic in England. There's a BBC mini-series of it now too. It's the kind of thing Hermione could have written scrolls and scrolls about. 

How Children Succeed by Paul Tough is a parenting must-read. I read all the parenting books. I don't recommend all of them this strongly. Paul Tough researches school success and the kinds of things we do wrong that actually de-motivate kids (saying "Good job!" too much is one of those things). Give it a try. 

The Power of Every Day Missionaries by Clayton Christensen is so great. He says what we all know in our gut: Missionary work grows out of true friendship and care. No one wants to feel like somebody else's project and our stress on missionary work in the LDS church sometimes leads to an over-emphasis on numbers and conventional measures of "activity." Christensen describes his own experience where he actually offended a couple who thought he was their true friend because he quit hanging out with them after they declined his offer to baptize them into the church. This jibes so well with my personal feelings about making genuine connections with people in our own unique ways. For some people that might be the conventional shake-hands-get-to-know-you sort of thing but there are a million ways to be a friend (and that goes for being a visiting teacher, too). I highly recommend this book. 

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr is by far my favorite book from 2014. A WWII story that takes place in occupied France, this book is so nicely done and unique that it takes its place next to The Book Thief among my favorites. But you can't go by me. I'm kind of a WWII junkie. 

I have so many more books to tell you about that I read when I wasn't blogging as much. Don't worry, I keep a list of all the books I've read since 1999. I won't forget any of them. Remember that great speech at the end of A Few Good Men?

Book Report: The Search to Belong (Or, Not Another Potluck)

The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups by Joseph Myers really spoke to me. He is not a Mormon, but I like the way he thinks about being the member of a church. This book explores what it's like for different people to participate in a community. Not everyone participates in the same way. I think this is really important. There are people in my ward who are considered less active but who would consider themselves totally Mormon. There's nothing wrong with having a hope for them to participate in full fellowship in the church, but treating them as outsiders isn't good. This book makes an interesting—and strong, in my introverted opinion—case for not expecting everyone in your congregation to be good friends or participate in the community in the same way.

There is an expectation that friendship must move through stages, ending in being best friends who hang out all the time and that is the goal. But I certainly don't want that with everyone in my ward. I want that with maybe only 2 people in my ward. I only want that with about 6 people in the world, so it's nothing personal against my ward. It's OK to stay as just acquaintances. Knowing that when you have a baby I will visit you and if someone dies I will show up with funeral potatoes is enough (and quite a lot).  I will teach your children the gospel and you will teach mine. You will take work off to sleep in a snow cave with my son and I will spend a week at Girl's Camp with your daughter. We will sit side by side as we renew our covenants with Heavenly Father. Isn't that enough? Do we have to have a potluck too? The pot luck is the least meaningful way we will spend time together during the week. 

A lot of people really like potlucks. I fully acknowledge that I like doing things less than most people. But I still do a lot of church-related things. For the most part it's good for me and I don't mind. And, obviously, a social component can bring us to the spiritual component, especially with the youth. But sometimes I just pick up on this crazed vibe in meetings (always with the meetings) that we have to have more activities, more dinners, more groups, more being together all the time! It seems separate from spirituality to me. 

Meyers suggests that we shouldn't necessarily have new people or visitors introduce themselves when they show up in church. It's ostensibly welcoming, but it's actually calling attention to the fact that they don't belong, that we've never seen them before. It can be problematic for certain types. Of course, other types love it. But so many activities and ward policies are planned and executed on the premise that we all have to be great buds who hang out all the time. More activities does not mean more spiritual closeness. And spiritual closeness does not really have to happen in a ward for everyone to have a meaningful relationship with God. Granted, spending time together does increase the responsibility and compassion we feel for each other. So I understand the push to get together. But I'm just like, enough already, guys. This book articulates how I feel without just seeming like and anti-social stick in the mud. 

Book Report: The Round House

This post is sponsored by Grammarly. I use Grammarly's plagiarism checker because I can't afford a law suit from the descendants of Tolkien, from whom I liberally pilfer.

My friend texted me: Read The Round House. So I did. And I loved it. Here's why.

Louise Erdrich's coming of age story about a Native American boy (Joe) growing up on a reservation in North Dakota won the National Book Award so you know it's a good bet. The boy's father is a judge on "the rez." He's basically a Native American Atticus Finch. The boy's mom is brutally attacked and the book tells about the investigation and prosecution of the crime from Joe's point of view. (There's plenty of teenage-boy coming of age stuff, but not so much as to completely gross you out.)

I would like to explain what I loved about this book and I don't want to sound racist. So let me just say that I think politically correct things about Native Americans. I'm not a jerk or anything and I don't think I'm better because I'm white. But I've never been that interested in Native American culture. I just didn't "get it" and it seemed very other from myself. 

Reading this book so immersed me in the culture and traditions of the Ojibwe tribe with such empathy and understanding and interest and good writing that all of it—from teepees to peace pipes—seemed viable to me. I don't want to say it made me respect Native Americans, because I did respect them before. But it expanded my understanding and compassion in a way that, save for spending time on an actual reservation, only books can. That's why literature is good. That is how it works. You think you couldn't care less about wizards. You might even think wizards are weirdos. Then you read Harry Potter. 

In The Round House, Joe's father faces jurisdiction limitations because he is a tribal judge. There is a discrepancy about where the crime against his wife took place, so even though he is wise and good and powerful, he can't prosecute. Joe discovers that his dad deals in petty cases, and he's disappointed. But the dad explains that every small decision and precedent he sets is working towards an expansion of the power of tribal judges. He's working in his way toward equality. That's just one element of the story.

There's a lot going on in the rez community, which consists of several multi-generational families. Joe and his buddies are always hungry and they make decisions about where to go and how to spend their day based on where they can get food. As a mother of a 16-year-old boy, that rang true. It all rings true.

It's a story that will stay with you. It will also dash your dreams of becoming a writer. With books like this around, why not just read?

Penguin Classics Has Cool Stuff Besides Books Now

I am so into this Heart of Darkness shirt. I want to give it to everyone I love.

Remember Penguin Classics—from your reading lists in college? They have a little store with all these cute things in it. T-shirts, totes, and DODO cases fit for the most primo of nerds.

Remember how the Fonz used to describe things as "primo?"

This cool stuff features cover art by leading graphic and comic artists and illustrators working today including Chris Ware, Tony Millionaire, Rachell Sumpter, Jillian Tamaki, and Lilli Carré.

I know for a fact that my teenage son would love any of the shirts. Most of my friends would like a tote that makes them seem literary. And Christian is gaga for DODO cases—they are handcrafted and wooden and hold your iPad. So, there's your gift guide. Happy shopping.

Are you done with your Christmas shopping yet? I've waited longer to finish up my shopping this year than I ever have before. It's a bit nerve-wracking, but intoxicating! What 12th hour request will I fulfill this year? This must be exactly how Santa feels. In fact, I know it is.

 

Lego-Centric Christmas

As you know I love Christmas shopping and I try to do it year-round, but with older kids who really want specific things I don't just buy whatever's on sale and stockpile it all year. (Although I do as much of that as I can.)

This year Ben dressed as Tony Stark for Halloween. He made (from scratch and LOT of stuff from Radio Shack) an arc reactor to wear under a black t-shirt for his costume. Our grade school, Westridge, has recently become a STEM-focused school. You know how some schools get a Mandarin Chinese or French program, ours opted for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.

B-O-R-I-N-G, says this English major with no job.

Actually, I think it's fantastic. I can enhance their education with books, art, and humanities on my own (not that the school has just thrown that by the wayside) but it's hard for me to do sciency math stuff so I'm glad the school has taken it on.

It has been amazing for Ben. They are studying magnets now and will focus on circuits next week. When we got the soldering kit for the arc reactor, Sam got interested too and fixed some speakers last night.  Ben goes to a Lego Robotics club twice a week. I wish I could give you more details about what he does there but he never tells me anything.

At any rate, I want to encourage all of this engineering stuff because the ability to do it is, as far as I'm concerned, like being a super hero. We also rearranged the furniture in Ben's room, passing a small desk on to Ellen, and putting the white vanity or "beauty seat" Maggie asked for when she was 4 into storage for my grandbabies, which, weirdly, I think a lot about. Then I moved a bigger table into Ben's room so he can spread out more when he does homework. Now we call it his shop or lab. He has a couch and a fridge, just like Tony Stark. When it was done I told Ben that now he has everything Tony Stark has.

And he said, "Except for Pepper Potts."

Benjamin Faulconer! That was quite spicy for Ben, in case you don't know.

I love to give everyone books for Christmas, even though they never ask for them and probably don't want them as much as they want iTunes gift cards, I love the part of Christmas where you lay around in pajamas and the new clothes you tried on, eating candy from your stocking and just perusing a new book.

I can't really get away with blogging about what I'm getting the kids for Christmas as much anymore since my kids read my blog, but Ben doesn't. So I can show you the 3 books he's getting for Christmas. They are gorgeous full-color coffee table books that he might not read cover to cover, but I think they'll be inspiring and fun to look through and refer to later.
 
These books are full of pop culture, history, Lego fans, and incredible images of cool things you can build with Legos. I know the plural of Lego is Lego, but I hate saying that. And so I won't.

The question is whether I'll get him his own Lego Robotics kit to go with this theme. We got one for Sam years ago. They are pricey. $350-$400. And he hasn't actually asked for them. He has asked for other (less expensive) things for his big present. I'm always torn between getting my kids something I want them to have that fits with my "theme" and just getting them what they ask for.

My oldest son, Sam, always puts "Anything you think I'd like" on his list. I think he knows that sometimes I think of better things to give him than he would think of for himself. My mom was like that too.

Have you done any Christmas shopping? It's different with older kids—But just as fun!

Read Some Stuff I Wrote

This month at Babble I've been trying to be really scary and promotable. That's the name of the game in October! So take a look at my posts. I've grouped them for you by category, for your convenience. 

These are my Walking Dead posts:

Walking Dead Actors Looking Clean and Glamorous
Walking Dead's Rick Grimes: Father Knows Best for the Apocalypse?
13 Radical Prints Inspired by The Walking Dead (This post title was changed from "radical" to "awesomely scary" by my editors. If I'm really honest about it, these prints aren't radical OR awesomely scary. That's "publishing" for you!)

These are my Benedict Cumberbatch posts:

Hear Benedict Cumberbatch as the Voice of Smaug
Cumberbatch Makes the Cover of Time: Cumberbabes Swoon

Here are my posts about Books and Music (we love books and music, right?):

Your Next BBC Obsession: Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
Britney Spears Does the Intro to Thriller
Funky Fan Art Inspired by Pink Floyd
11 Books You Must Read This Fall

TV Stuff
David Tennant Brings Broadchurch to America
American Horror Story Cast Dishes on What Scares Them (Note: I don't watch this show.)
Cast of Lost: Then and Now (Remember Lost?)

Celebs: They're just like us!
Simon Cowell Thinks He will Be a Good Dad
Can Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott Afford a Vasectomy?
New Captain America Trailer and The Stars of Marvel Universe
Natalie Portman Always Looks Cute
18 Times Hugh Jackman Was Accosted by People and Things
12 Fake Celebrity Accents: The Good, The Bad, And the Terrible
Hillary Clinton Wants to Be a Grandma
20 Photos of Sting Aging Gracefully

*Bonus Spooky Post
10 Telltale Signs Your House is Haunted

Can you believe I wrote all that? Which one's your favorite? What topic would you like me to tackle next?

Book Report

With all the celebrity gossip I've been dishing, you'd think I don't read anything but the tabloids. But I don't actually read tabloids. I read books, though I've not read as much this year as usual.

I've gotten a little behind in my book reports. So here's an update.

I read Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman. Frankly, I thought it would bug me. I'm sick of France. I know everyone loves it, but where does that leave me? Not in France. That's where. But Druckerman has a very non-annoying attitude about France. She's realistic and curious about France. She wonders about parents the way I do. I actually liked this book and found it interesting with some good advice about parenting. Mainly the French are a bit more hands-off than Americans. They let kids be kids and they don't schedule their whole lives around their kids' whims.

Worth a read. If you're so inclined.

I had a life-changing experience reading This is How: Surviving What You Think You Can't by Augusten Burroughs. It's a unique self-help book with humor and a major dose of paradigm shift. Not all of it will be relevant to you. There are chapters about losing weight, overcoming addiction, dealing with death and even shyness. I'm reading a book I really like now called The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking which reminds me of it a little. I am not dealing with most of the issues Burroughs discusses, but I really like what he has to say. I think it is helpful. I highly recommend this book. It has some swearing, but for me the insight was worth it.

Burroughs has had a rough life. He has fixed himself and he tells you how he did it and how you can do it too. One of the things he says is that parents are a luxury. Of course, I think parenting is very important. But if you had imperfect parents you can certainly get over it. I have a nearly perfect mom. But some of my memories about my parents' divorce are sad and bother me. This book helped me think about things in a different way. He tells this story. Say you drove past the remains of a car crash with a burned car seat and you are deeply disturbed and saddened by it. You may even feel depression because of it. But what if the reality of the accident was that it was one driver who survived the accident and was just dropping off a car seat at a preschool, or something like that. You would have no reason to be disturbed or depressed about seeing the remains.

Much of what we see are just remains and we have imperfect perceptions about the details, especially when the details involve another person's perspective. Another story Burroughs tells is about a woman whose son drank himself to death. Her experience is horrible, for sure. But he asked her what she felt the worst about and it was that she wasn't there for her son in his last few moments. That is what nagged at her and made it so she could not move on. Burroughs told her—and this was not in a callous way or to minimize her loss—that as a recovering alcoholic himself he could assure her that in those last drunk moments her son probably actually felt happy. She was feeling remorse for an imagined scenario that never happened. Of course, she still had to deal with the loss of her son. But this insight changed everything for her and let her forgive herself for a perceived failing.

That's heavy. I know.

That's why I also read Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling. This was one of my 40th year birthday books from my friend Jenny Eckton. I have a few very good close friends. Jenny is one of them. That's why she gave me this book which I loved. You've probably already read it. I, personally, read it last year. But if you haven't go ahead and read it now.  It's funny and interesting—Not as good as Tina Fey's book (Kaling would be the first to admit it), but close. I didn't love the first few episodes of The Mindy Project, but it's gotten funnier and funnier and it's one of my favorite shows now. It makes me laugh out loud.

I should say, I've given up on my dream of writing a book. Maybe Babble has burned me out on it. Maybe my Simon and Schuster rejection based on not enough Facebook friends bummed me out on it. But Hit Lit: Cracking the Code of the 20th Century's Bestsellers by James Hall was still a fascinating read. It synthesizes and analyzes what bestsellers have in common. Really great read. It made me want to scheme up a bestseller. But I won't. But I could. But, I won't. Sigh.

Anyway, it doesn't matter whether I write a book or not. You should read this one or give it to your parents. It's probably the kind of thing thing your mom will get a kick out of. It mentions Gone With the Wind.

I read Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein on my Nook. I seem to always forget my Nook books. I do prefer a real book. Anyway, this was a good story. It's about female spies during WW II. I love spying.

I think this is Young Adult fiction. Whatever its classification, it's the story of two young women who become pilots, spies, and best friends during the war. One of them is captured.

This story s about friendship, bravery, and loyalty with some good twists.

I've had the Tolkien Bestiary by David Day on our bookshelves for years. I think Christian bought it for me before we had kids. Or I bought it for him? Anyway, after The Hobbit movie came out I read it from cover to cover. So sue me.

This is a nicely illustrated encyclopedia of the Tolkien world. He created such a comprehensive, beautiful world. Tolkien is another reason I'll never write a book. Why not just spend the time reading Tolkien?

I read In the Woods by Tana French after I read it's sequel a few years ago. It's ok to read her books out of order. She chooses a different character to write about each time. Tana French is a great Irish mystery writer. I really love her writing. And she tells good stories that are compelling. But I am so mad at this book and I'll tell you why.

 (It's a spoiler.)

This book is about a murder or kidnapping and one of the most fascinating details of it—that the child who survives has blood soaked shoes and socks, blood soaked from the outside, in—is NEVER EXPLAINED. It was basically the thing I was most interested in finding out about and she never solves it. I'll tell you what I think. She doesn't know. She couldn't figure it out and so she wrote the next book from a different point of view as an "artistic choice" to hide the fact that she doesn't know how to resolve this. I've heard her on Diane Rehm. I love her. I hate her.

Of the fiction on this list, I recommend M.L. Stedman's The Light Between Oceans the most. It's just a lovely, interesting story. It would make a great book for your book club. Our book club enjoyed reading and discussing it. It's about a couple who leave their hometown to tend a light house on a small island. They are newly married and want to start a family. One day they find a boat washed up on shore with a dead man and a crying baby in it. You'll have to read it to find out what happens after that.

Well. I've given you much to think about. Let me know if you've read any of these and how you liked them. I'm also looking for book recommendations so let them rip in the comments.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

School starts tomorrow. I will probably send a link to this post with my kids so their teachers can read what we did over the summer besides "watch TV," which is what my kids usually write in their journals.

It is true that there was a lot of TV-watching. Like,  a LOT. Sam watched all of Downton Abbey. Christian and I watched all of Breaking Bad (more on that to come). Ben's into Star Trek: The Next Generation and has watched and re-watched all of The Avengers and Justice League cartoons. Ben and Ellen are getting caught up on My Little Pony. Maggie enjoys marathons of Dance Moms. I just read an interview with Portlandia's Fred Armisen where he says, "I love television. I think it's a really exciting time for TV, and it just keeps growing. And people are collecting TV shows like they did records. You know, grown ups are just talking to each other about having seen this episode or that season … I love it."

We've seen every superhero movie that came out and re-watched such classics as Iron Man 1 and 2, Captain America, Thor, The Avengers, Wolverine, X-Men 1, 2, 3, and First Class. Last night we ended the summer fittingly with Wolverine. Ben and I thought we had the time frame in mind (after X-Men 3) but when we saw his bone claws in the first scene we were really thrown for a loop. Flashback, as it turns out. I also made the kids watch Wrath of Khan (which was a spoiler in itself) and then the Star Trek reboot of 2009 and then we went to Star Trek Into Darkness. It was a lot of work. But it was worth it.

Khaaaaaaaaaan!

And don't forget that Maggie and I spent a week at Girl's Camp way back in June. So cross camping off your list. We did it. My younger kids got to stay with Carly who obligingly extended her visit to Utah when Christian had an unexpected business trip during camp. We all earned a mansion in Heaven that week. We also watched an outdoor movie with a big bag of popcorn--the movie screen and the popcorn were leftover from the Stake Outdoor movie activity I'd done the night before, but so what. It still counts.

I turned 41. Sam turned 16. I took him to the DMV for a learner's permit TWICE. Once after it expired before his driver's ed class scheduled him for road. That one stung a little. He still hasn't been scheduled for road. But that's OK. Speaking of permits, most of my kids got their food-handler's permit too for a little business internship program we enrolled them all in suddenly and unexpectedly called SWEETO BURRITO.  It's as fun as sleep-away camp!

Christian even took the kids to a parade. I made cookies a few times. We just got back from Midway where we went shopping for school clothes at the outlets in Park City. Christian and I were going to power through to the Alpine slide but upon taking a vote, it was unanimous amongst the children that we just go home instead. So I think we should get credit for the slide, too.

Also, we sent Sam to Paris with his grandfather where he strolled around the Arc de Triomphe for a day or so and then took the chunnel to London for a week where he attended a conference of great thinkers in Cambridge and went to museums every day and drank Coke Light. So what if the price Sam paid was learning about reclining nudes in detail from his grandpa? Many people would (and have) paid that price for half the adventure.

Passing the sacrament in London? Priceless.

We did sleep in a lot. We did do nothing a lot. I did yell at my kids a lot and tried to make them feel guilty a lot for not reading any books. Maggie pulled it out there at the end by reading The Fault in Our Stars in a day. We went swimming as often as I could bear. Ellen made 3 mansions and a guest house on Minecraft. Ben somehow made himself look like a giant diaper-wearing baby on Minecraft. Little victories.

Ben dropped his phone in the beaver pond while sailing on a boat made of an old door and a lot of Styrofoam. While it was desiccating in a bowl of rice he learned 3 new songs on the guitar. The phone never recovered. We haven't replaced it. Maggie gave a talk. I gave a talk. Christian gave a talk. Sam gave a talk. Christian got released from the bishopric and called as the YM president. We had burritos for dinner a lot. Everyone except Ellen mowed the lawn. Ben got braces. We're going to Fun. this Friday. There's some other stuff I probably forgot. 

Let it be written. Let it be remembered.

Book Report: VJ The Uplugged Adventures of MTV's First Wave

MTV launched August 1st of 1981. I was 9 and I watched it all the time. It was awesome. It was everything. When I look at pictures of the MTV VJs I feel like I'm seeing pictures of people I went to high school with or of my cousins. I imprinted on them.

I just finished VJ: The Unplugged Adventures of MTV's First Wave.  I have mixed emotions about the book. On the one hand, it's super intriguing and I read it in 2 days. On the other hand, it made me hate the VJs. Self-congratulatory, shallow, ugh. This always happens when I read about Rock and Roll.

I hate to even say this in case one of the original 5 vjs Googles themselves and finds my review. I still think they are cool and want them to like me. But I have to say that they are disappointing. Nevertheless, I spent the day watching videos and downloading images for the post I wrote for Babble, 10 Things You Never Knew About the Original MTV VJs, and they won me over again. Maybe they just don't come off well in print.

First of all, it's a lazy book. It's just excerpted from interviews of all of them. There aren't normal paragraphs and exposition. It just has quotes from all the VJs.

Martha: I made 26,000 when I started.
Alan: That was pure discrimination. Martha and I were equally experienced.

Page after page, they each weigh in on different topics. It's like the transcript of an interview, with the interview questions left out. Still, it's fascinating to read.

I'm always really disturbed by drugs. Alan Hunter and Mark Goodman talk about doing drugs throughout the 80s like it was the best time they ever had. There's no layer of reflection or perspective that older people usually have. It was a turn off.

I always loved Mark Goodman and thought he was the smartest one. He was the smartest one, and he knew it. He's really pretentious. And even when he talks about how pretentious he was, he still says things to show that he was the smartest one. However, he mentions 2 maybe 3 times in the book that during that time period in the 80s he was working out a lot, "lifting really heavy weights." Lifting really heavy weights? Why do you keep talking about lifting really heavy weights, Mark Goodman?

I think they have an inflated sense of their importance, even though I totally think they were important. They talk about MTV hiring Kurt Loder and none of them can really get over how Kurt Loder was critical of MTV when he wrote for Rolling Stone. Nina Blackwood flat-out called him a hypocrite. But if you're really looking at the history of MTV, bringing Kurt Loder on was important and improved the channel's credibility in terms of News. Those original VJs are just sour grapes. They aren't being objective about the history of MTV. They just want to talk about themselves. Even Martha, who I adore, "pulled a weird thing" on Kurt Loder when he tried to interview her at something and she put him on the spot and asked him why he hadn't shown up at JJ Jackson's memorial service. "And that was the last time I ever spoke to Kurt Loder," she says. They seem kind of immature. And I say that as someone who was AS IN LOVE with Billy Squier and Adm Ant as Martha Quinn was.

Martha Quinn regrets not embracing "sexy" more and wonders why she "sabotaged herself" with the preppy, non-sexy clothes she wore. THIS WAS THE MOST DISAPPOINTING THING SHE SAID! I thought Martha was awesome and smart and cool for wearing a boy scout shirt and skinny tie when she interviewed David Lee Roth, and everyone loved her for it.

I thought she was totally punk rock and was doing the short hair and androgynous clothes on purpose. I was so bummed when she said she regretted it. Boo. You were rad, Martha. Own it. When MTV decided not to renew Martha's contract, they generously kept her on the payroll for 6 months. After that she had to collect unemployment in order to pay rent. That seems kind of loser-y. She hadn't saved any money? How can that be?

The book really did do a good job conveying how MTV was started with a radio mindset/format. It's hard to even imagine now, but music wasn't on TV. Music was only on the radio. Everything about it was experimental and revolutionary. The VJs worked in shifts going from Martha, Alan, JJ, Mark, Nina around the clock to Martha, Alan, JJ, Mark, and Nina. They were a year into it before they realized they could shoot Martha, Martha, Alan, Alan, JJ, JJ, Mark, Mark, Nina, Nina and everyone could go home after their segment was filmed. Because it was the mentality of live radio. They didn't think about filming segments out of order—something that is a total no-brainer today. Also, a big part of the VJ's job at the beginning was going out and schmoozing cable guys in order to get cable stations to carry them. That's where the whole, "I want my MTV" thing came from: Call your cable provider and tell them you want MTV. Manhattan, where the VJs all lived, didn't get MTV. They couldn't even watch it at first.

Well. I can't deny that there is some interesting stuff in this book. I recommend it if you remember MTV and feel like reminiscing. But the VJs just aren't as cool as I remembered.