Friday, December 19, 2008

I Thought I Just Heard My Space Heater Whisper, "I Love You."

I don't mind being cold because getting warmed up is so nice. I hate being hot because I take no pleasure in cooling off. Being hot gives me a headache. Being cold could kill me, but I don't care. Yesterday there was a big snow storm which I went out in (I thought it was ending, but it kept on going). I feel that people are more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt in a snow storm.

Over at the grocery store, we were all in it together. I kind of took advantage of the jolly deli counter woman by tasting meats indiscriminately, but that's what Christmas is all about. We were all gathered around--just tasting meat! And then my fellow shopper, who had a Jamie Oliver cookbook propped up in his cart, asked for pancetta. They didn't have any, but no one cared or even felt bad. "Can I substitute prosciutto for pancetta?" he asked. Normally I would stay out of this but the world seemed softer in it's blanket of white so I piped right up, "I think pancetta is more like bacon." (Prosciutto is more like ham.) I don't know what ended up happening with that. He was soon off to find a brining bag (and he wasn't even embarrassed! Good for him. See, that's Christmas.)

Later that day I was shoveling the driveway when a strange and enthusiastic man approached me. (I don't think I ever shoveled a driveway even once growing up. I never thought about snow removal. Now it's this big issue--like if I don't do it the UPS man will blow me off.) Ellen was crying and I was saying, "Just go ahead and play."

"Can I play too!" the man exclaimed as he began to run up and down my driveway with his shovel. See what I meant by "strange"? So as it turns out he was selling shovels and I say, bully for him. He helped me out and I got an amazing shovel. I went in to write a check and thought to myself, "I hope he doesn't kidnap my kids while I'm in here." Despite the Ted Bundy scenario, he didn't. See, that's Christmas .

So, now you know I like snow. Mostly I like warm blankets and watching TV. Snow gives me a reason for those things. If I'm under a blanket watching Dirty Jobs in the summer I'm some kind of freakish bum. In the winter it's just cozy.

10 comments:

  1. See how that is?
    Same way with a nap - perfectly acceptable in bad weather, complete lazishness in good.

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  2. I burned the leg on my calf on a space heater once. I didn't even know I was doing it. I just thought I was really warm, but it turned out that smell I was smelling was toasting flesh.

    Now i have to wear NYLONS every Sunday, because of my flesh burn. NYLONS.

    Don't mess with space heaters, man. NYLONS.

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  3. Mmmm, you made me want to build a fire with all of that talk of snow. I think it is wonderful that we go through one season long enough to get our fill of it and then we are on to the next. Too many months of snow or too many of hot summer would do me in. We get just enough of each if you asked me.

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  4. Maybe he's a traveling snow shovel guy and he'll show up over here. I don't even know what happened to our shovel.

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  5. This makes me want to write that post I have been meaning to, all about my deep (and possibly inappropriate) love for my Suburban's heated seats.

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  6. When we lived in Minnesota, I loved how friendly everyone was during and after a snow storm. Everyone pulled together and helped each other out like at no other time of the year.

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  7. I love snow too. The thing I like most about it? It forces the world to reliquish control. NO ONE, NADA, NOBODY can control mother nature. So give up and be happy!

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  8. Should I capitalize Mother Nature?

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  9. Good call on the prosciutto/pancetta thing. Prosciutto is actually salt cured ham, so is eaten as is. Pancetta is bacon from the pigs belly - so it is typically raw and has to be cooked like bacon before eating. Any other useless food knowledge I can share?

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  10. I'm in the market for a good shovel, what makes yours so amazing? What should I be on the lookout for?

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