Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Gratitude Journal: My Subcutaneous Layer of Fat

I used to write gratitude journals here all the time. Go ahead. Check my archives. But lately I just look around and think, "Sheez. What have I got to be thankful for?" So I haven't written one for a while. But a few weeks ago when I was watching Kate deliver Claire's baby I saw something quite hideous. Well. I don't know.  I'm not a guy! Maybe it's not so hideous to a guy. But to me as a human being I found this quite alarming--gross even. And it shared the screen with a woman having a baby. I mean, talk about gross. And I know because I've had four--unmedicated! (And by unmedicated I mean so medicated that I actually hallucinated myself in a birthing tub delivering naturally.) People, my body does a lot of unattractive things. But it doesn't ever do this:
Thank you subcutaneous layer of fat.

21 comments:

  1. Is she getting ready to powerlift Claire? It is quite bizarre-looking- sort of like she's going to pop, vein by vein, muscle by muscle. My extraneous layers of fat keep me from looking so hard. When I'm working really hard physically, I still look like a pillow.

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  2. Love it! My mother-in-law always said that if you keep your face kind of plump the wrinkles don't show. I'm following her advice!

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  3. I can't believe I'm being outed as a blog stalker on this one, but have you noticed the same thing about Claire on Modern Family? It's really creepy.

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  4. Julie8:21 AM

    Birthing Tub? Hummmmmmm, I've read about that somewhere lately.
    Can a person jump the shark and then jump it again?

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  5. This is why I didn't allow any photos of me during the birthing process. EVER. No one wants to see that. All sorts of things are popping out and the faces you make will not only induce wrinkles, but leave emotional scars that cannot fade!

    (I have thought of Kate like this--all veiny and strong--since I saw this scene! Forget the millions of scenes in soft lighting on the beach! This is the one that stayed with me!)

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  6. I think Kate watched a little too much Jillian on The Biggest Loser.

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  7. Boy am I glad I don't watch t.v.!

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  8. My husband's mantra (to counter act my disappointment in not being toned and firm) goes a little something like this: girls should be soft. girls should be jiggly. if they weren't, they'd be guys.

    So, yeah, guys think it's ugly, too.

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  9. M. Magleby4:26 PM

    I wonder, is SHE thankful for those facial muscles? Follow up question: was your birthing pool dream by any chance located at Heindselman's?

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  10. Gah! It looks like she's giving sympathy birth.

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  11. skinny hulk woman smash!

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  12. Wow. Looks totally unnatural. Women aren't supposed to look like that.

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  13. I KNEW it! Fat is good!

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  14. She needs to go back to just working her core.

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  15. I just read several of your posts and here are my comments in no particular order:

    1. I learned the expression "back-of-the-envelope calculations" from my husband, who actually has made calculations on the backs of envelopes, many times. Also he will grab whatever paper is handy, which is annoying when it turns out to be my grocery list and he walks away with it. Anyway, it makes sense to me that someone would calculate on the back of an envelope, since the front has already been used for the address and return address and the stamp and cancellation, but writing on the back of a napkin doesn't make any sense to me. Do napkins even have a front and a back?

    1B. As something of a textile connoisseur, I think people are far more likely to memorialize aphorisms in cross-stitch than in needlepoint. But I'll admit that the latter sounds better, and most people wouldn't make a distinction.

    2. I liked your "Lost" posts, although I did have to avoid your blog for a while since I'm extremely spoiler-averse. I think I've already asked you if you've listened to the Lost podcasts from iTunes, but if I haven't, and you haven't, you should. Even after the fact they are entertaining to listen to. I think Lindelof (sp?) and Cuse could go into broadcasting if they can't find work now that the show's over. They are very witty.

    3. I keep a list of malapropisms, and I was thrilled to add "sorta speak." (And, yikes.)

    4. I thought there was a fourth comment, but I guess not.

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  16. I remembered my fourth comment.

    4) I always buy fabric that's on sale. What's your point?

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  17. Alyson6:03 PM

    For a long time now I have been meaning to recommend Jimmy Fallon's episodes of "Late", his show's version of Lost. If you haven't already seen them, I think you might like them. I'm sure they are all on hulu.

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  18. Hooray for fat! It does a body good.

    And as for Claire on Modern Family -- Not only does she look the same, BUT it's so painfully obvious that she's had a boob job (watch the Hawaii episodes) that I almost lost my lunch.

    Not attractive.

    Nope.

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  19. i know i'm late to the comments as i just found your blog - it's hilarious! but, no, i don't think most guys like the "kate" look because whenever my husband sees a really skinny girl he always comments "that girl needs to eat a cheeseburger". and i love him for saying it, since i am not skinny!

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