Thursday, August 04, 2011

Be Better Than Me

For some reason I don't like answering the phone. I dread it. My mom is the same way. I used to think she was so weird about it. The actual talking on the phone presents problems such as: My kids talk to me and I can't hear; What if I have nothing to say? How do I politely get off the phone when it is time? What if my phone dies right before I say "Bye" and then I  have to call back just to say "Bye"?

But mostly I don't like answering the phone because I think someone is calling to ask me to do something I don't want to do. I don't want to do most things so this is a real problem for me. You might say, "Don't be such a negative party pooper." But I can't help it. I don't like doing things. It taxes me. In the olden days they would just say I'm full of black bile and leave it at that.

Phone calls aren't always bad, of course. Sometimes it's Lisa calling to say she is standing on my front porch with 2 cheeseburgers [for me] [and two cheeseburgers for her]. That is a happy surprise. Room motherss, ward members, etc, etc, etc, are not always happy surprises. Copying the ward newsletter? Cleaning the church? Doing a game for a classroom party? Having Christian fill in for whatever ward member is calling to cancel? None of these things are a big deal. They are small. But all of them effect me severely. It's like I'm handicapped. Sometimes I'll feel grumpy and Christian will wonder what's wrong and as we discuss it we realize I am in a bad mood because I have to do a Fishing Pond Game for the kids' school that day. I do it. And it's never as bad as I think. Sometimes it is.  But usually it's not. Look, I'm not trying to excuse myself. But it's true. I can't do things a normal person can. I think it might be because I'm not a good person. We're all working on being better. I'm no exception.

The other day Christian's grandma called. My instinct is always to ignore the phone but one time she called to give me this old wooden recipe box. I had been trying to buy one online for my Maria Ricks chore cards. She found one at her house and gave it to me.  I'm so glad I didn't screen that call. (And by the way, my housekeeper loves dusting that recipe box full of chore cards.) So I answered the phone and Christian's grandma tells me she has a bunch of school supplies for me to give to my sister who works at The Road Home.  Of course I feel like a big jerk because not only did I not know The Road Home really needs school supplies, but also I almost didn't even pick up the phone. So that was pretty nice of her. She usually donates through her crocheting group, the Loony Loomers but apparently she wanted to bypass the Loomers and donate directly to my sister. I don't know what's going on there. I do not want to get involved.

So I picked up a couple Route 44s with lime and went over to get the supplies. We chatted a bit. Apparently she has tumors on her thyroid. She's not surprised because this runs in her family. In fact, her mom or grandma had a goiter so big she choked on it! I was dying. I was so freaked out by the prospect of a goiter. I was all, "You are NOT going to get a goiter!" And she was all, "No f-ing way." Just kidding about the F. Anyhoo. Point is: I don't have a goiter [knock on wood] but I do get sad when I have to take treats to a party I signed up for. I think maybe I lack strength of character.

Anyhoo. Pont is: If you'd like to send me/drop off a school backpack, school supplies, or a gift card for the Road Home you should. (1311 Camelot Dr Provo, Ut 84601) I will try not to act put out about having to deliver it to my sister. Be better than me. Also, donate online here. For Salt Lake natives, Apple Tree works.

20 comments:

  1. In this way you and I are twins (among others, but this one especially). I abhor the phone and all it entails.
    I donated school supply $ at my grocery store while checking out. Now that's the way I roll.

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  2. ha! I am the same way. My stomach actually drops a little every time the phone rings. Honestly, it's because I think it's my mom.

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  3. It's comforting to know we introverts are not alone! You always make me smile.

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  4. I'm actually shocked by this post. Is this the same Kacy who rocked the entire free world with her ward activities?

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  5. Andrea6:33 PM

    Oh so many things to say. First I love the road home and wish I lived there so I could work with them. I think they are amazing and I hope everyone donates (sorry for being put out). Second I totally feel the same way about answering the phone. I feel like could've written this exact post (mine wouldn't have been nearly as funny). Third this made me laugh my F-ing head off. (just kidding about the F part, but I was laughing supper hard).

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  6. Amen sister. I like to listen to the message someone leaves first so I can prepare myself for whatever it is (you know, when it's one of those kinds of calls). All school-year long I dread reading email too.

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  7. hooray for not answering the phone! i don't do it. nope. never.

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  8. I always let it go to voicemail, unless it is my husband. I hate talking on the phone. I also won't answer the door. Sometimes I will peek out the side window to see who it is. I call myself a recluse and I am totally cool with that. Just embrace it.

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  9. This is why caller ID was invented--for those of us who don't want to answer the phone. The problem is that on our cell phones (and that's my primary phone) it only shows numbers that you've programmed in, which often leaves you in a phone bind when you answer the unrecognized number and it's someone asking you to substitute in Primary. I hurry and program those numbers in so I don't make that mistake twice.

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  10. Anyone who knows me knows I screen my calls. And anytime I don't, I end up regretting it because I too hate doing stuff.

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  11. I had no idea so many other people hate the phone as much as I do. Yay for sisterhood!

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  12. You know that I'm a recovering extrovert (I still have a problem NOT talking to strangers in the grocery store line), but I hate the phone, too, for the same reason and I am making a concerted effort to NOT BE THAT LADY who, when my name appears on the phone, people roll their eyes and avoid. So I really appreciate the cheeseburger comment. (And as a side note: this post is particularly funny because you and Christian do so much for other people all the time and nobody knows (cares)--suckers!)

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  13. Unfortunately, I am not better than you, but I should try harder. You described me perfectly. It shouldn't be such a big deal to do these things, but I hate it. Glad I'm not alone.

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  14. I am an avid phone call avoider. I wish every one would just text me so I wouldn't have to talk on the phone. Ever. But then you still get asked to do, you know...THINGS, through texting. So you still aren't off the hook, but at least you don't have to pretend to be in a happy mood or try to figure out how to end the conversation. Yuck.

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  15. Amen to this post. I screen my calls because I suck at lying on the spot. It's a talent I seriously need to develop. Can anyone blog about that?

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  16. Anonymous9:19 PM

    Bishops wife=I NEVER answer the phone. If I do, I end up doing stuff like moving random people I never met with the mini van little ones in tow. Seriously.

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  17. Anonymous10:43 PM

    I am just now learning the wonders of letting the machine answer the phone. It really is liberating to not be a slave to it!
    Now I know why I don't like to do extra stuff - I too am an introvert. Jerri

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  18. I answered the phone tonight and got asked to talk in church next week, and although I love the sound of my own voice, this week I'm not in the mood.

    Reading emails is getting even worse than answering the phone.

    I have a goiter. In truth. Luckily it's a "diffuse" goiter which I guess means it doesn't have sharp edges and generally you can't notice it, although maybe it's better if I don't lose a lot of weight in my neck.

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  19. My first job was at a tele-survey place. It's been 10 years but I've never recovered. Last week I tried to pay my sister to pretend to be me and find a sub for my primary class. She said no.

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  20. LOVE this post, TOTALLY RELATE. enough said.

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