Chuck Klosterman asks 23 questions in his book, Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs to ascertain whether or not he could love a person.Here's an example of one:
"Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an allusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?"
(I say yes because real magic is impressive to me.)
Ever since I read through his questions I've been thinking of my own. I've posed a few casually before on my blog (John or Paul, Steve or Joe, etc.) and the answers are always telling. Here are some more that I have been thinking about. Please answer them honestly so I will know if I can love you.
1. If for some reason you had to make out with Stephen King or Marilyn Manson, who would you choose?
2. If you were about to walk through a magic doorway that exaggerated all of your latent and secret personality traits and the qualities that you intentionally suppress to make your public image more appealing would you emerge on the other side of the doorway as an F-Dude (cowboy/redneck) or more like a Goth?
3. If exercise could make you healthier, fitter, live longer, and more energetic but did not make you thinner, would you exercise?
4. Would you rather be a famous and talented rock star for 5 years, a mediocre but cool actor that does well but ultimately ends up working on TV (Like Jason Lee, for example), a really famous actor that's extremely well-paid but no good (Like Tom Hanks), or a working novelist who receives acclaim in the literary world but no real fame and is well-off but not rich?
4a. If to become one of the above-mentioned people you would be required to never see your mom again, would you do it?
5. Who would you want to like you--and by "like" I mean call you when something exciting happens to them, care about your opinion, and think you are interesting: John F. Kennedy, Martin Scorsese, David Letterman, Johnny Depp, Tiger Woods, or Cameron Diaz?
6. Pretend that you are at a Television studio with two huge rooms. In one room President Bush is going to confront Osama Bin Laden who will be apprehended and apologize sincerely and the war will end and Tony Blair will be there too along with other world leaders and American troops. In the other room (at the same time) David Gilmour, Roger Waters (who will sound good), and Syd Barrett (who will be alive) are reuniting as Pink Floyd to perform The Wall and Wish You Were Here. You can only attend one event and neither will be rebroadcast. Which would you attend?
7. If you somehow found out for sure that there was no God and no afterlife (but still consequences in this life), is there anyone you would try to murder? Who?
8. Would you rather have a condition where you could never raise your heart rate above resting rate because you would die or have a disfigured face?
9. If you are a woman, would you rather give up make-up or have mild body odor constantly?
10. Would you rather be upper middle class in Arizona or lower middle class in Utah County?
(Assume there is no chance whatsoever of changing your financial status.)
Can I love you? Do you love me?