A while ago I wrote a post about how I was going to give up trying to be cool and focus on churchiness, remember? Did you like how I made it sound like I'm choosing to be less cool? I said that because it's what I really thought. But over the last few weeks I've noticed some signs that I'm just becoming an old, uncool fuddy duddy, whether I like it or not.
First of all, I regularly find just what I'm looking for [to wear] at Sears. Does this include multiple products manufactured by Lands End--including jeans? Yes. It does. As it turns out, your active and stylish grandmother was right!
Along the same lines, I give up on low-riders. I just plain give up. I can't take it. When I see girls half my age and half my size bending over and revealing a pretty gross crack, I don't even want to imagine what it's like when that happens to me. And it happens to me a lot because, frankly, I bend over a lot. It's uncomfortable and ugly and I'm just not going to do it anymore. Does that mean I will wear mom pants now? I guess.
Another thing that makes me a fuddy duddy is that I think organic is for suckers. This might mean that I'm not hip and fresh, but at least I'm not a sucker.
Also, reading Cosmopolitan makes me profoundly sad. It really does. It's not that I'm a prude. I don't mind the sex talk--they have some very creative tips! But the context and frequency of the sex talk is eyebrow-raising (to me) and nothing makes me sadder than imagining the actual target audience for this magazine. It's sad because some of the most degrading and sexist content is being marketed as modern and empowering. And, based on most of the reality programming I watch, I think women are buying it. See? I know. I wish I could be a better sport about it. But I can't.
And finally, I've noticed lately that whenever I eat a small amount--and small for me is probably moderate for you--of cookies or candy it makes me feel kind of sick. I hate it! I compare it to not being able to hold my liquor. It's SO lame. I mean, you should have seen me in my candy prime. (Some of you did. Sigh.)
Oh well. I guess there is some comfort in knowing it's all downhill from here. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that if I can just hold it together a little longer I'll be a cougar soon.