Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Here Are a Few of My Good Ideas--Don't Steal Them

A series or reality show about OnStar operators and the people they help during the course of a day would be a good idea.

A study of gender and rock and roll and long-term popularity. Why no female Rolling Stones? It's a good and interesting idea. The GoGos don't count. Chrissy Hynde does.

When I'm on the phone where someone can hear me I think it's a good idea to say, "Look, man--I said I was clean." Because it's funny and makes you seem mysterious and persecuted.

A science fiction story or movie about Macbooks and how the camera is really always watching you, even when you don't have it turned on. Admit it--you worry about it and you know it's a good idea. This would be more than just I, Robot. (It would probably be a good idea to still have Will Smith's naked body in it though.) The book version of this could replace Fahrenheit 451, which I just can't take seriously now that we live in the actual future it predicted so lamely. (It's probably not a good idea to say that, but it's how I feel.)

It would be a good idea to send an e-mail to everyone clarifying that "interior decorating" is now known as "design."

It would be a good idea to write a novel about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It could uncover the seedy underbelly, expose the desperate housewives of MoTab, or it could be non-fictional and uplifting and end with Sting converting to Mormonism after singing with them in the tabernacle. (This could also be a reality show.)

An hour-long special where the Dog Whisperer and the Super Nanny trade places for a day. This is probably the best idea, ever.


  1. I like the GoGos, by the way.

  2. Brilliant! I'm on board for every one of your ideas. In fact, l'd like to spearhead a few myself.

  3. Have you tried the "look man, I'm clean" in the middle of a parent/teacher conference? Because that could be pretty funny.

    Love the MoTab idea. Especially if there are some MoTab cliques or catfighting. (e.g. "Those altos are such ho's!")

    As far as Cesar/supernanny. I've tried putting my dog in the naughty chair. It didn't work too well. I do try to get my children to be calm-submissive at all times. It's also not working so well. Maybe it would work better if I took them on walks around the neighborhood and they were to remain by my side at all times, looking straight ahead. Sounds promising.

  4. I agree that the "clean" statement should always be with at least 2 kids in tow. .

    And the MoTab reality show should involve a plot against the "fashion" designer for the choir. . .

  5. We've never actually met...or ever met at all, really...but since you had lunch with one of my loved ones, I feel like we're close enough that I can tell you that I hate OnStar commercials. For some reason they give me the creeps and so I'm not sure I would like the reality show, although the service itself is quite useful.

    I am, however, fully on board for the MoTab novel...but only if you wrote it.

    jennie w, you made me laugh with the very idea that the sopranos and altos could be so vicious...

  6. Anonymous3:39 PM

    You KNOW there is dirt with the MoTab. I think you are definitely on to something there.

  7. Well, you know Greg's dad was in the mo tab. If that's not creepy and seedy then I don't know what is. If Sting converted to mormonism i would BEG to be his wife. ANY OF THEM.

  8. I think the line "Look man--I'm clean" would give everyone a moment of silence to figure out if they heard right. Everyone that is except Christian who would most likely think everything is A-OK at home.

    If they did a MoTab show, do you think we would see some crazy Tonya Harding / Nancy Kerrigan knee cracking type of conspiracies happening? Man, that would make for some prime time television right there.

    And rather than The Dog Whisperer and Super Nanny trading places, how about The Dog Whisperer and Dog the Bounty Hunter trading places?

  9. I love these ideas.

  10. Cesar and Dog, the Bounty Hunter? Brilliance!!!

  11. I knew I should have come to you first when I decided to embark on my new quest--becoming more mysterious! "Look man--I'm clean!" is my new catchphrase!

    I would watch all of those ideas as tv shows. You know I would.

  12. MoTab...priceless!


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