I was eavesdropping on some new moms at Seven Peaks last week when I overheard one conscientious mom asserting that she pulls her bosoms away from her tiny baby after ten minutes because she doesn't want to spoil her. Do what you gotta do mama, but if you're going to be so stingy, why not try a bottle? Then she put her baby into a neoprene baby sling and darted off towards the baby pool. I wanted to tell her, "Dude, if you don't have other kids to keep track of you can use your arms for a baby carrier." What was she doing at Seven Peaks anyway? I HAVE to be there--I've got four bored kids from ages 11 to 1. But if I had just one little baby? I'd be home in bed--which was exactly where that conscientious mom should have been. Oh dear. Time for some more of my unsolicited parental advice.
Make your babies smell good. It's harder to love a dirty, poopy, stinky, snotty baby.
It will be February. Things will be bad. You will consider vitamins, glasses, more exercise, more sleep, more chores, less TV, more rules, fewer rules, and organic food. Just wait. Things will get better when the snow melts. This will happen again at the end of sumer, and then school will start.
Don't give out punishment that hurts you more than them.
Answer this question: What is the worst thing that can happen if your kids sleep in their clothes?
Clogging lessons are not in the best interest of the child.
About two-wheelers: If they can reach the ground with their feet they can learn to ride a two-wheeler.
Always pack wipes. If you send older kids somewhere without you, pack wipes for them. It's like having a mom with them.
Don't use your good scissors on Badge Magic.
Let your kids eat school lunch. I ate it all my life and I have a Master's degree and this blog. My kids eat it and they are not dumb, hyperactive, fat, sickly, or unhappy. Don't knock yourself out packing lunches every day, unless you have nothing better to do.
Act on any inclination of kindness or niceness you have toward your children. You'll have fewer and fewer.
Your kids won't be little forever so enjoy them! Just kidding. People tell me this but they don't explain this: how do I enjoy my children when I don't enjoy them? I can tell you something very specific to appreciate about your under-6 kids. They don't really know what you're up to so enjoy that. I have an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old. They notice when I burn food, take naps, surf the web, don't follow through on discipline for the younger kids, and any number of other foibles I'd just as soon keep to myself. It's like living with real people. While I would never trade the perks of having older kids, it can be stifling in a way that laying on the floor in my pajamas watching Blues Clues with a toddler and a can of frosting isn't.
So there are some tips for you. Sorry, but you need them. I'm no pro, but I know enough not to buy a neoprene baby sling. Let me know if you have any questions. Of course, I prefer to give my advice the way I get it--unsolicited.