Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stumble Out of Bed and Fumble to the Kitchen

My husband started a new job this week. His old job was with Crimereports. I will miss that job because people sometimes thought he worked for the Justice League (I wish). Little old ladies would e-mail him saying, "There is a very shady character in my neighborhood. I have a bad feeling about him. So, is he bad? What can you tell me about him? His name is ................................................................. Greg Craig" (spacing original). You just can't beat that.

Christian used to commute an hour to Salt Lake City for that job so I am thrilled that his new job is only fifteen minutes away. It is life changing. I don't know how much you know about having kids and how horrible it is, but the hours from 3-8pm are particularly devastating. But if I know my husband is going to be home around 5 or 6 I can hang on. Yesterday I even found myself making and freezing homemade soup for winter. I don't recognize my cheerful, homemaking self. And neither does my husband, apparently. He's been saying, "Wow, you look really nice" when I'm not even wearing anything good. Then I realized it has been years since he has seen me in the daytime. I guess it's a lot better than what he is used to seeing when he arrives home after the kids are in bed which is me hunched over in my pajamas (not attractive ones) haggard and mad. It's like I lost 20 pounds! (I haven't.)

He left town this morning for a business trip. He's always traveled occasionally but it never really affected me. But now after only a week of having him around I don't know what I'm going to do without him. It's already 4:45. I have four more hours of this alone? And everything that is going to get done--dinner, dishes, reading, bedtime, garbage out, etc.--is going to be done by me? That sucks. It's so daunting I feel like I can't even handle it. I need my visiting teachers to bring in a meal. Do you think they read my blog?

Just yesterday we were eating Burger King together at home on his lunch break and watching clips of Chris Clark on the Today show. Can you imagine! It was so genteel. Tomorrow I'll be back to chugging Diet Coke and eating a piece of bread every two hours. Not very genteel, but it staves off hunger.

25 comments:

  1. you are so funny woman. I love you!

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  2. My husband is out of town and I just finally made myself dinner. It's almost 9:30 p.m. And you'll love this - I'm watching an X Files rerun.

    If Chris was home I would have already eaten and would be thinking about sleep... Okay so I'd probably be doing the exact same thing - but it would be a snack, not dinner.

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  3. Just get a babysitter from 5-7:30 every day. I'm considering it.

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  4. Awesome about the new job. You'll have to tell me more about it later.

    My DH just left on a trip today, too. He won't be back until Saturday. I did great until bedtime -- wish me luck the next few days. I keep thinking of that line from the Incredibles -- "You left Jack-Jack ALONE?" only in my case it says, "You left Christina ALONE?" only it doesn't make any sense because I'm not a baby and I'm not exactly alone; I've got seven kids to keep me company!

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  5. My husband kept late hours for most of our married life - he still does sometimes - and so when he's home when I get home - or when he comes home and I'm not expecting him, I tend to blurt out things like, "oh, what are you doing here?" which I think makes him feel bad. I need to watch my tongue.

    I managed somehow - having kids spread way apart helped - I usually had a "big" helper.

    And I ate a lot of Franco American spaghetti - my idea of a treat - and my kids' too!

    I try to see the good in certain situations - like, I can eat what I want, watch what I want, talk on the phone all night if I want, etc.

    It helped!!

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  6. I love your new genteel life! I can picture you wearing a vintage apron, cooking up pots of stews and soups, and talking with Christian about your cool friends on tv. . .or tv itself. . .or what you're going to watch on tv that night. It's like I'm there! (is that creepy?)

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  7. be very careful Kacy!!
    See, I am not sure I could handle that. I often take a 9am nap and I would be nervous that the husband would run home to retrieve something he forgot to take to work and then BOOM! cover blown.

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  8. Ah, nuts, that stinks! I mean, it really does because like you say, 3-8 is the witching hour and I don't know how I would do it without my husband coming home to break up the monotony, the fights and the blood-letting. Hey, I'm all about getting dinner on, I don't have time for that kind of thing. It's hard--I feel your pain.

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  9. My very helpful husband who gets home at 4:30 is gone on a week long hunting trip.

    I feel your pain.

    The witching hour (4-bedtime) is a very real, very, very, scary thing. Especially when you're flying solo! Phoebe just may be a genius:)

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  10. Can't help you with the nights alone. Sorry. No advice.

    During my many years of Ed traveling I never figured out how to handle it all without losing my sanity. But somehow I made it through and so will you.

    Christian got a new job?

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  11. I'm truly so happy for you. I,myself, am entering the diet coke/piece of bread phase. With Mike starting his new job and in a rush to finish the dissertation, I am alone almost every night. i just turn up the Barbara Streisand, lie on the kitchen table eating cake with my bare hands, and turn up the TV really loud.

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  12. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but NO, you should not have to handle it all yourself...put them to work. The older ones read to the younger ones, the kids do the dishes & take out the trash. Delegate!! It's a wonderful way to maintain sanity! (That, and early bedtime for the kids-then you can stay up for x-files & ice cream!)

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  13. i feel this way from about midnight to 4am when my 2-month-old won't go to sleep and/or stop screaming but my husband has class or work at 8, so i can't wake him up to have him take a turn. wanna trade? :)

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  14. Yeah, I know how that feels. Last night, in front of all the kids, I asked my oldest (nearly 13, an insufferable age) "are you a retard???" It was horrible and inappropriate and offensive, but looking back, I don't know what I could have said differently that situation.

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  15. I know how you feel. For 6 + years my husband was gone when the kids woke up and at work until 8 pm. Once he came home at 4 p.m. and I was sure he had been fired! Now that he works regular hours, I am spoiled. The weeklong trips are worse now that I depend on him to be here at bedtime!

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  16. Ohhhh, those days of having to entertain school kids after they got home---until the evening hours---I remember them so clearly as if they were yesterday...

    Hang on,....no it was today! And yes, I still have to do it as my hubby always works until the evening!

    He actually started a new job this week also, but I am estatic, because he hasn't made any money for two months,and its been a bit tragic.

    Good luck, my dear...

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  17. I totally feel for you, Kacy! My mom always let us eat sugar cereal as a special treat when our dad was out of town. Now I wonder if that was more for her or for us! I've found that just sitting on the couch and reading books with my kids helps to calm everyone down and pass the time in a productive way. Good luck!

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  18. Anytime two hours of commuting time can be cut out of a schedule is something worth celebrating.

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  19. My husband recently did the reverse--got a job that is farther away and I am HATING IT! (don't tell my kids--we aren't allowed to say "hate"). He is having trouble understanding why it is so important for him to call if he is going to be even 10 minutes later. Or 5. Or 1. I think you may be a kindred spirit who understands that one minute can mean the difference between keeping it together or definitely, ear-splittingly, guiltifyingly NOT.

    We are thinking of moving closer. I think your post has reaffirmed that conviction. Thank you.

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  20. Oh, Kacy,
    I'll bring you dinner on those days, cuz I always have dinner on at 6pm (enough and to spare)with homework all done in a civilized manner, the children cheerfully expounding the clever things they've done all day, and me with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart for each one of those special spirits.
    Oh, wait. That's not me.

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  21. Kacy! You read my post?!? I'm so flattered and embarrassed! I lurk on your blog all the time, but never comment because I'm like, "we don't know each other THAT well." and "leave this poor woman alone! She's moved out of the ward and she's way cooler than you!"
    Hooray! You just made my day.
    And when I read this post a while back, it reminded me of this lady who came and spoke at our RS retreat. She said something like, "If I weren't mormon I think I'd have a glass of wine every afternoon around 3 o'clock just to help take the edge off dealing with my kids until they go to bed." Amen. Instead of wine, I use granola bars and brownies. We all have our coping mechanisms, huh?

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  22. Yes Beth, I've been a fan of the estrasasanda since its inception.

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  23. Hey, congrats on the new job in the family. It does make a huge difference—not only travel time, but happiness levels for everyone. I know because I recently ended my job at an ad agency that CrimeReports worked with. Love my new pace, fresh outlook, scary (alive) feelings, etc. So congratulastalongtimeations. Mike

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  24. Kacy, my husband is going to be gone for 15 weeks next summer. I am already experiencing depression over it and he's still here. So, I guess my point is, don't expect any dinners from me.

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