You know I check out CDs at the library every week because I'm radically old school, right? OK. So this week I got Sting's Sacred Love. It's the perfect CD to have not purchased when it came out and to check out from the library five years later. It's not great, but I can load it onto iTunes if I want. An interesting bit of trivia is that I unwittingly checked it out the same week I also checked out REM's Green. I knew Green contained a slam against Bush I, but I had no idea Sacred Hunger contained a slam against Bush II. Isn't that cute? I didn't even plan it. Singers don't like the Bushes. What did George Bush II ever do to Sting!
Whenever people who don't blog talk about blogs they are always like, "First, I don't have time to blog and second--blogs are boring because people just talk about what CDs they checked out at the library and then they go on about their boring dreams. Who cares!" To them I say, you make time for what's important.
So I had this dream wherein I was interviewing Sting. Unlike my friend, Jenna, I don't have sexual fantasies about Sting. (Should I not have said that on the internet? I don't know anymore.) I am proud to say that I am always faithful in my dreams. Good for me, no? Which is not to say that I haven't thought about marrying Sting. Suppose I somehow met Sting in college before I met Christian. And suppose he asked me to marry him. What would I do? I mean, he's only a few years younger than my mom. So that could be awkward. I don't think Sting would ever convert to Mormonism. Would I forsake my religion to marry Sting? I can't say. I mean, he's also rich. But I grew up in a part-active family and there are some drawbacks. Would I go to church by myself when we were on the road with his band? Would he support me in my commitment to the Word of Wisdom? That would suck to be the mother of Sting's children and have to rely on the home teachers to baptize them. Would he let me pay tithing on our increase? I know for a fact he wouldn't go for garments. I don't think it would work for me and Sting. Guys, it would be so hard to turn down Sting's proposal. But, in case you have ever wondered, that's how committed to the Gospel I am.
In this dream I am interviewing Sting. We are hitting it off. The only question I remember asking him is this, "Would you say your first failed marriage is a major component of your fierce commitment to Trudy now? And does the notion that Trudy is your 'soul mate' justify your initial infidelity [with her]?" It seems like a rude question, but he took it well and answered in the affirmative. I knew it!
I was a little offended because he rushed off after the interview without saying goodbye. But later I discovered he had left me a passage from Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret Garden. It was really literary and special, which is exactly how I would describe my relationship with Sting.