Thursday, May 14, 2009

And I Get to Take Codeine

Isn't it boring when people tell you about their migraines? I mean, it's right up there with fibromyalgia accounts and narratives about carbs. Nevertheless, I get freaky, debilitating migraines and I'm going to tell you about them now. I will try, however, to only tell you the interesting parts.

Picture me in third grade at a dress rehearsal for a fairy tale showcase wherein I played a bear, Jenna Martin played a fairy, and my beloved Brent Hamilton played the prince who doesn't have ANY scenes with the bear. My mom had made me a complete bear suit--ears, paws, and all--out of brown terry cloth. I carried a metal honey pot and was proud of my authenticity. The year before I had played "narrator" in a class presentation of The Wizard of Oz and at that age it's exciting because you think you might one day be an actor. Or a writer. Or a nurse. Or a spy--you just have to decide which. Anyway, my teeth went numb on stage. I felt hot and horrible and I threw up. One half of my body went numb. Then I got a headache. That's the first migraine I remember.

My migraines are preceded by an "aura" of weird symptoms like numb teeth and hands. I also get dysphasia, which is a trip but kind of fun for people who are with me because I speak nonsensically. Another thing that can happen is a blind spot. It's really sort of disturbing and is often accompanied by nausea. Once in high school I was sitting in seminary and felt a migraine coming on. I figured I could get my bag and coat and head out the door before it really got going but this time I went totally blind. It was a scene, man. I bumped into stuff and my gallant seminary teacher who I was, surprisingly, NOT in love with put his arm around me to help me out and--as I stumbled--caught me up in a magnificent swoop and "carried me out the door just like a bride," as the incident would later be described. Inevitably it was assumed by the sem-hedrin that I was on drugs and/or had an eating disorder and had fainted from anorexia. I just realized I do miss high school. People never think I'm on drugs or anorexic anymore.

I had a bit of a bad migraine spell after Maggie was born. My leg went numb and stayed numb. Ever the hypochondriac (I HAVE had pleurisy), I thought maybe I had multiple sclerosis. That's when I started seeing my middle-Eastern neurologist. He suggested I get a CAT scan to see if instead of migraines I'd been having a series of tiny little strokes. Isn't the prospect of that hideous? I'm not, so it's fine but here's the interesting part: After the CAT scan the technician (who does the whole thing but doesn't discuss the results) looked sympathetically at Christian and said, "Well, good luck with everything." I thought I was going to die. Those technicians, boy. They are in a great position to mess with people.

And the final interesting (I hope) and tragic bit about my migraines is that they can be triggered by both eating beef stick and drinking Nyquil. So if you have any kind of heart in you at all, throw a little sympathy my way for the deprivation of those two great pleasures in life. Perhaps when I am ready I will choose, as the Elephant Man chose to sleep lying down one last night on a pillow, to end it all in a beefy, salty, sneezing, achy, so you can rest stupor.

Also of note, I have one right now and I'm on drugs and you probably can't even tell. See? No big whoop. Although, it might actually be illegal to blog on narcotics. Keep on truckin'.

29 comments:

  1. "sem-hedrin" just made my day.

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  2. beefy, salty, sneezing, achy, so you can rest stupor just made mine.

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  3. Now THAT is a migraine. Everybody else that says they have migraines, they need to recognize. They have a headache.

    And now I am left wishing I could know what numb teeth feel like.

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  4. I want to know how you discovered that "beefstick" was a trigger. Weird. Oh yeah - and I thought your spin on the Nyquil line was genius.

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  5. I wish I had a reason to take codeine right now.

    Does that make you mad that i just said that? Like you would trade not getting migraines for no more codeine? And I am so insensitive for saying something like that?

    Oh well, I still wish it.

    Maybe I'll just go take some Nyquil, that sounds nice too.

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  6. I actually remember both of those incidents. Especially the bear one. I think I remember you walking in to walls because of blind spots a few times. At least you're properly medicated now.
    CHEERS!

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  7. I've only had the aura thing once, and I thought I could shoot Force lightning from my fingertips. I couldn't, dang it. I personally think if you have special pain, you should be allowed to have special powers too. But failing that, drugs are good too.

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  8. I thought you might be anorexic, but I didn't want to say anything. So I told Lisa, Angela, Dalene, Tiffany, Courtney, Brenda, Lauren, Lisha, Jennifer, and my sister in law instead.

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  9. I have three generations of migraine sufferers in my fam. So far, I only get the prodrome and then the aura (lose my peripheral vision, usually), followed by a regular headache, but is only a matter on time til I get the really bad ones. I will totally avoid beefstick in the future. I don't know if I can give up my Nyquil. Feel well.

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  10. I suffered from migraines for years. Once a week, almost clockwork. Nothing helped. Then I had a hippie roommate who told me that Feverfew was supposed to help. She picked some leaves from her garden and I ate them between two pieces of bread (it will blister your mouth without it). And it worked. It works. I take capsules now. Try it.


    Jen
    Boda weight loss Blog

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  11. I have always thought you were on drugs or anexoric! What's the deal?

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  12. Don't know that I'd allow my FIL to get away with commenting about my eating disorders...

    I had similar stuff after birth of son 2. Mine ended up being mini strokes, migraines, and chronic fatigue (which I still think was a cop out diagnosis). It wasn't fun.

    I still get migraines - had one while I was trying to read Breaking Dawn - I loose the center of my vision, so I was reading peripherally... My bishop was returning cots and sleeping bags used at girl's camp and found me strung out on the couch holding the freaking book off to the side of my head. Wasn't pretty.

    Do you think both of us being from Provo has something to do with similar migraine features? Or could it be association with your hubby?

    Why am I leaving such a long comment?

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  13. Jeez, all the cool kids have migraines.

    I feel so left out.

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  14. Poor Kacy. But what I want to know is, who was the seminary teacher and why weren't you in love with him?

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  15. Yes, nitrates, cold medicine, and the Twilight series are all well known migraine triggers.

    The seminary teacher was nothin' special. Which is to say, he was no Merrill Webb.

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  16. Oh, migraines. Aren't they lovely?

    Not to reveal too much information, but mine happen to be what they call "hormonal migraines" which just means that you get them only when you are PMSing. Because being on your period doesn't suck enough, you can experience vomiting, partial blindness and extreme pain as well.

    But my standing prescription for LorTab is nice, too.

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  17. I think beef sticks just automatically induce food poisoning migraines, every single time.

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  18. This saddens me. Mostly because I don't suffer from migraines, and you do. Maybe we aren't from the same mothership? But I do have my own disability, something really really special and horrible. Due to low blood sugar (I'm assuming) I typically have 3-5 hallucination episodes each night before actually falling in to a deep sleep. Most involve bugs/small rodents the size of walnuts moving around under the fitted sheet of my bed. Sometimes there are spiders falling from the ceiling onto my head. Sometimes the walls are leaking water. Each and every time I wake up in a frenzy--shouting to my husband to kill the creepy crawlies/whatnot, insisting that THIS TIME IT IS REAL. Poor man. I have slapped cockroaches off his face, ripped his pillow out from under his sleeping head, yelled things. I'm a real treat to be married to, I tell you. The cause? Eating sugary foods. You can imagine how often I resist the late night sweetened snack treat.

    Sorry you feel bad. Take comfort in knowing that you can still write good stuff in the midst of your suffering.

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  19. My husband suffered from really debilitating migraines until he started using cafergot (ergotamine), which usually gets rid of it entirely if he takes it during the aura. He also takes feverfew and Petadolex (butterbur) for prevention.

    He now has only mild issues with the migraines, and they used to send him to bed regularly.

    Good luck!

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  20. Butterbur? Is that like butter beer? I really want to try that. Hermione chugs it so gracefully.

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  21. Anonymous10:48 PM

    Azucar confirmed my suspicions.

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  22. My husband gets migraines where he loses his vision first and vomits. Then the migraine starts. Sometimes he passes completely out. Any kind of food with nitrates will trigger them, as well as peanuts and MSG. I feel so badly for anyone who suffers with them. Feel better.

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  23. All I can say is BOTOX BABY!! I notice most of the helpful comments were recommending herbal remedies - I go for the botox - it has really helped reduce the headache and I have the forehead of a 20 year old! What is not to like about that?!

    Good luck!

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  24. I am sending sympathy but I have to admit you make me laugh migraine or not so it is sympathy filled with laughter.

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  25. Poor baby, bless it's heart, you know where I keep my stash... and I'm off carbs and on ribs. That's all I will say about it.

    P.S. Did you throw up in the honey pot? Vomit on terry cloth... I'm picturing it now.

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  26. You are a trooper. I don't think I could be a mom and deal with that too. I had headaches off and on one week and it was enough to do me in. I don't know how you manage it. You amaze me.

    At least the migraines haven't interfered with your creative genius you blogging queen!

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  27. You took me back to the glory days of good old Grandview. Do you remember when we went to Lagoon (didn't get to ride the rides because we were there for the Pioneer Park)? For some reason I remember Roy Syme buying you a KC Royals mini hat because your name is Kacey (KC). HA HA HA Oh the things our little minds remember.

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  28. That's right! Do you think Roy liked me? I hope.

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  29. quite good i dont think you are supposed to take these with IBD but they are good pain killers, although they do tend to bung you up (which wasnt really a problem for me as i was on the loo up to 25 times a day lol). worth a go but there are so many other pain meds on the market there is a lot more choices if you dont like them

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