I'm not naturally a clean freak. I understand how things can pile up and the worse it gets the harder it is to feel motivated to clean, BUT have you been watching Hoarding: Buried Alive? I feel some sympathy for hoarders. I know they are ashamed and worry that people are grossed out by them. But to be honest with you, I am grossed out by them. Let's not mince words. If you hoard garbage you are a slob. Some people on the show have lots of stuff. But some of them just never throw garbage away. One lady was making herself a microwave dinner and she just threw the wrapper on the floor on a pile of garbage. On camera. I mean, wouldn't you make some kind of pretense of looking for a garbage can if you were being filmed by a camera crew? I would. And I comfortably go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. Hoarding is a scene, man.
So these hoarders have to meet with a therapist to work through their hoarding issues. It is so weird. I saw one where the therapist asked the hoarder if he could get rid of a tacky Christmas ornament for her. She had a panic attack. Then I imagined an amazing season finale for the show. It is revealed in a season cliffhanger that the therapist himself is a hoarder and has been hoarding all the stuff he has coaxed his clients to part with. Pretty awesome idea, I know.
Anyway, if you have hoarding tendencies and are worried about getting worse I've thought of some things you should AVOID doing. And if you've seen the show and want to give hoarding a try, here are the steps to becoming a hoarder:
Save pizza boxes--you could "make something" with them.
Start a "collection" of walking sticks.
Buy fabric whenever it is on sale.
Get a ferret.
Start wearing suspenders.
Get motorcycle helmets with microphones and plan a cross country trip that you will never take.
Smell like dandruff.
Good luck! When people come over just laugh and say, "Watch out for that box of used wax paper!" The most important thing is to continue acting and talking like you are completely normal instead of 100% nuts. And remember, no matter what your family says you can sell it, make something useful out of it, or turn it into a gorgeous accent piece. Think about it: What if you throw it away and then you need it?