Friday, May 07, 2010

I Know This Much is True

I know some of you are very turned off by my incessant posting on Lost. To you I say look, there are a lot of things about me that are a turn off. Suppressing these things is tiresome--maybe even as tiresome as reading my Lost blogs. Who can say? But with this Lost thing I just can't help myself. I love it. I take pleasure in talking about how awesome it is and I take pride in trying to figure out what will happen. And quite frankly, if it is my Lost posts that bore you and turn you off my blog I can live with that. It would be so much worse if you stopped reading my blog because you don't like my personality, think I'm dumb, think my kids are ugly, or decided that my face is too fat. That would really hurt my feelings. Bear with me. It's almost over. And to those of you who feel the way I do, bear me up. It's almost over. 

Today I feel like listing certain things I feel are "facts" with a tiny bit of speculation. Just to get everything clear in my head. I will mention spoilers.

The island is a cork that keeps evil at bay. Since the smoke machine's nickname has been "Cerberus," I think it's OK to imagine it as a gate to Hell if that helps you conceptualize. I also consider the island a proving ground for humankind to show whether it is inherently evil or good. I don't know what the rules are but they seem to be based on not interfering in certain ways so as to let the humans show their true colors.

There's also a bunch of electromagnetism all over that causes cataclysmic events. Desmond is immune to this. It's his gift and, in the end, what he does for the island will probably involve resisting or causing a big blast. He's done it before!

Flocke can't kill candidates--he's counting on them to self-destruct and kill each other. I don't know what he means by "home" when he says he wants to go home. Next week we'll have a better idea about what he wants.

Jack is the candidate. I mean THE candidate. He'll take over for Jacob. This means he'll stay on the island forever keeping Flocke at bay or die in order to destroy the island and the man in black. Some people think time will loop around and he'll crash again but as a better leader and man of faith which will change the outcome of events. I think this fits with him telling John Locke to "go first." I can imagine Lost ending with Jack opening his eyes on the beach after a/the crash--but I'm not sure how all this works out. I really hope to guess the ending, but not all the details of the ending. That is my goal.

As much as I love and support Jack, I found his pants to be a bit high-waisted last week.

Kate is unimportant.

Miles might live longer than we think he will in order to hear the last words of our beloved castaways after they die.

I've been kicking around this idea that everyone will die on the island and Flocke will be let loose and as Hurley said, "We all go to Hell." That time line will all be destroyed. But Desmond provides a loophole because of time-travel and electromagnetism and the Daniel Faraday/Eloise Hawking faction have figured out a way to open up the alternate time-line which is kind of an escape pod. Everyone is spirited away there safely--especially the kids. This idea reminds me of Harry Potter living at the Dursley's and Luke and Leia being split up and raised on other planets. I'm fixated on their posterity. Call me crazy! But most if not all of the candidates have daddy/mommy issues to resolve. Those of us with daddy/mommy issues of our own know they are best worked out when you have your own children.

Depending on how much time I have tonight and how much I decide to let the digital dominate my life I might just flesh this theory out and submit it to DarkUFO. I'm not kidding: Alternate Time Line as Escape Pod. It could be a viable theory. It's kind of sad that this post will be time-stamped on a Friday night. It's not the nerdiest Friday night I've ever had, I guess.

What if Claire has her baby in the alternate time line and decides she wants to name him Jacob instead of Aaron? Dun dun dun.

I've read a lot of Lost theories today and all I can say for sure at this point is that I don't believe any theories written by people who say "sorta speak" instead of "so to speak." They've spent their whole lives thinking it's "sorta speak?" I don't get that. I mean, I've never heard the word chignon in real life but I know it isn't "ching chong. "

My husband told me he liked my non-Lost posts much better than my Lost posts. It made me really mad. Don't tell me what I can't do, sorta speak.


  1. Loving the Lost posts. You should check out the web site:

    They are hilarious, but possibly only to Lostophiles like us.

  2. You're killing me. I got fed up with Lost a couple of years ago, but I still find your posts funny--Jack's pants, Kate's role. Maybe I should of kept watching.

    Just kidding. I know it's should have or should've. That is one of my pet peeves. Love your blog. Don't think your face is fat or that your kids are ugly.


  4. I love Lost posts.

  5. Okay, I just discovered your blog tonight - actually my mom sent it to me a couple weeks ago, but I wasn't ready for any LOST spoilers then so I held off until just a few hours ago. I think we think a lot alike. I've now spent about 2 hours reading your posts and you're awesome.

    Now that that is out of the way, I have a question for you, since you seem to be more knowledgeable about LOST that I have time to be. I have had this crazy theory since the season 5 finale and nobody really pays any attention to me and/or my idea when I bring it up. I don't know if you've already mentioned it, but maybe you'll have some insight.

    I think Juliet is from the future. In Kate's flashback in The Incident, she is appropriately placed in a late 1980's-ish setting. Juliet's flashback, however, is in modern clothing, modern furnishings, housing, etc. From the show, I have concluded that Juliet is older than Kate, so why would Juliet's flashback be so modern? I think that Juliet was found in the future and then brought (back in time) to the island to do her fertility (she is so good at her fertility b/c she's about 20 years ahead of "today's" science). It seems possible to me. Plus, we haven't seen her in any of the parallel episodes - maybe because she's just a kid?? However, whatever the case may be regarding Juliet, I doubt it matters or will be answered... I guess I'm probably never going to know if I'm right about this one.

    I'd love to chat LOST with someone that is THIS gaga over it. Keep on writing!

    There are some posts on my blog, but I haven't written LOST in a while b/c I'm so busy...

  6. one of my ridiculously long posts about LOST:

  7. See - I like your Lost posts because I have always relied on you to explain things to me (both in Lost and in life). It totally, like, takes the guess work out of it for me, sorta speak.

  8. You can tell you husband for me that this was my all time favorite post of yours.

    Chignon to Ching Chong had me snorting out loud.

    I also loved your video! Thanks!

  9. That recap clip was awesome!

  10. "Ching Chong" - laughed till I cried over that one.

  11. I am loving these Lost posts as I'm new to your blog, and new to Lost. Last fall my husband and I decided, after careful consideration, that we would watch Lost on Netflix. So we watched all the seasons between late October and early January and then waited for the new season. We're very cautious people, but also compulsive. I'll form some theories but probably not until next year.

  12. Geez, I forgot just how many issues Locke had. He's better off as Flocke after all.

  13. Sheesh and from the title I thought this was going to be another NPR post...

  14. Ching Chong made me laugh out loud, too. And I am sorry for complaining about yout LOST posts, cuz frankly, I still come here to read even when I don't understand a word you're saying. Because you're THAT good.

  15. From listening to a Dark UFO podcast with Darlton, I learned that they ARE going to explain why Kate is not a candidate, (important to me, if not to you), and some other cool stuff that I can't remember now because my notes are upstairs and I'm too lazy to get them.

    Also, 20 points for mentioning not letting the digital dominate you in your post.

  16. Can "Don't tell me what I can't do" be the new catchphrase, like "How ya like me now?"

  17. Jamie--I promise you this: If you watch Lost you won't be sorry.

    And thanks for reading these posts anyway.

  18. Hailey, I heard that same podcast and I am glad they will explain why Kate is off the list. I am VERY interested in that. I just don't think she will play an epic role from here on out. At least, she doesn't deserve to because Evangeline Lilly in real life doesn't watch TV. What what?

    Mind blowing theory I read that's probably not true: Kate's off the list because she's pregnant with Jack's baby from their one night together before the flight. What what!

  19. THIS is totally the exception to not letting the digital dominate your life. I think I mentioned that (telepathically) when I made a shout out about talking about tv characters as if they're real.

    It's almost over and we will get through that together. We'll be alright. . . DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!

  20. I'm laughing; love the Lost posts. I feel about "kinda" the way you feel about sorta speak. Although, admittedly I don't even know how one would land on "sorta".


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