Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I'm Worse than Over Half of 100 Mom Bloggers

 
I am a Babble Top 100 Mom Blog.  I don't know how this happened but I certainly love it. The only thing is, I'm #55. I'm totally NOT complaining. I mean, #55 is better than nothing (or #56). But last year I think they only did 50 Top Bloggers total, so I can't help but feel like this year they are just humoring me.

Since I'm basically worse than over half of the other bloggers on the list, my goal is to raise my ranking by five points by next year. And then--just think--in ten short years I will be number one. 

NUMBER ONE!
NUMBER ONE! 
NUMBER NUMBER NUMBER ONE! 

And I will only be, like, almost 50.  Skadoosh, bucket list! Here is my ten-point plan to raise my ranking by five points. 
  • Turn into Beyonce but remain a Mormon mommy blogger
  • Learn Photoshop
  • Pretend to be single, then blog about meeting, courting, and marrying my husband who is a vampire--have a vintage photo booth at reception
  • Stop blogging about books I read (or start blogging about it 45% more--What does math mean?)
  • Get a job, blog too much at work, and get fired
  • Pull out my oak wooden floors, replace them with bamboo wooden floors, and let my readers choose between "dark" or "darker" in a survey on my sidebar--liveblog results from Home Depot (a sponsored post, obviously)
  • Invent time machine; Invent Pinterest
  • Have triplets and name them Foxtrot, Sledgehammer, and Soren.
  • Streak at Blogher
  • Get a favicon--Favicons are game changers. You know it. I know it. 
Wish me luck and I'll see you ten years and 50 points later! Give or take five points.

18 comments:

  1. Skadoosh

    you're my favorite for saying that word alone

    and also, being my favorite is way more awesome than being Babble's. BABBLE SUCKS. Yep.

    Unless you work for them, in which case, go you!

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  2. but WHERE are your PICTURES of your PIGEON toes?!

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  3. I would actually go to BlogHer to see that. Yes I would.

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  4. OK, I'm taking notes. I'm ready. I can do the vocal coaching and over all fierceness tips for the Beyonce thing, but you might have to get someone else for the dance moves.

    The triplets are blogging gold, good call.

    I'm going to have to get back to you on favicons.

    Also, you're going to need lots of photographs of you and whoever is the most popular/awesome/hip presidential candidate in 2012.

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  5. I like your plan of action. You are really hot to trot on this thing! And really play up the Mormon thing. Mormon's are so hot right now. I also think maybe you could do a "Fear Factor" contest on your blog and take bets to do crazy stuff (like having triplets). Reality tv is so hot right now.

    I can't wait to see what "top 50" looks like!

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  6. SEE YOU AT BLOGHER!!!!

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  7. To streak at BlogHer requires you to actually attend BlogHer.

    You know what I'm saying.

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  8. You could just do a video of...well, nevermind. I will talk to you about it this weekend.

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  9. Anonymous1:42 PM

    I love when you get snarky about Mormon mommy bloggers.

    Maybe if you had more Anthropologie aprons you'll get into the top 50 next year!

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  10. I know it isn't insulting to be a mom (I'm a mom, after all). But, the title "Mom Bloggers" offends me. It seems insulting. Just me?

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  11. I like that you know how to spell and rarely have typos, that should move you up at least seven spots.

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  13. I knew/know nothing about this "competition" but I wasn't that impressed with the top 5. Maybe they need new judges. Or is this one of those competitions where your "friends" do the voting - that is so bogus?

    Just remember that you are number 1 for a lot of real people who know you - that counts! (although the other has more street credit!)

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  14. I think you are much better than most of the top ten.

    I'm willing to campaign for you for next year if you feel the need for a team to support your run.

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  15. Rebecca3:11 PM

    Congratulations!! Of the 100 I only read 1 and it's yours so in my book (one that should count for something) you're number 1.

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  16. Loved seeing you there! You've been one of my favorites since I started blogging (but you already knew that).

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  17. Oh, the answer is easy: If you would just homeschool, have a kids/families hobby-photography biz, document all your crafting (that you also sell on Etsy), dole out design/fashion advice, share your fabulous recipes, prepare a weekly FHE lesson for download (complete with clip art to print), and then post plenty of pics of your children that are taken diagonally, then you'd have it made--MADE--I tell you.

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  18. I already know Photoshop (more or less). So I've been robbed. (Actually, I also had a favicon, but it turns out you have to self-host and can't use favicons in Wordpress. Doubly robbed!)

    But without looking at the list I can tell you you're my favorite.

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