Monday, March 26, 2012

Isn't It Crusty, Aren't We Clever!

Last night I was reading The Giant Jam Sandwich to Ellen. There are so many books I hate reading aloud at night. For example, I hate reading Curious George--too many words. I also hate The Napping House because of the Grandma's pantyhose feet. I hate reading books that go back and repeat every line from every page and just keep adding another line. A baby could write that. I like Olivia stylistically but her parents are so nice and patient that they make me look bad.They are far too indulgent.  I do like reading The Giant Jam Sandwich. When I was little my mom worked for a dentist. He had The Giant Jam Sandwich in his waiting room. I remember staring at the pictures before I could read. Last night I thought a phrase from the book, "Isn't it crusty, aren't we clever!" would make a good title for a blog post, irrelevant though it may be. Imagine the smell in the air while cooking that loaf!
Today I was doing the dishes and I thought of the following order for things starting with what I love going down to what I hate:

1.When people I like are just a tiny bit more into me than I am into them--I love this! It's perfect.

2. When people I don't care about don't care about me--This is mutually neutral.

3. When people I hate are into me--It's a drag because you hate them but you still give them props for liking you.

4. When people I like a lot are not into me at all--This is the saddest.

Then when Ellen was talking to me a lot and requiring responses and actions and effort I was craving getting under the covers and reading (which I actually do find quite a bit of time for) in peace. Then I thought about next year when she goes to kindergarten and the year after that when all my kids are in school all day. It was exciting to imagine what I will do with all my time. But the excitement was fleeting because I thought, "I'll probably be lonely and miss my kids." Doubtful, but society has programmed me to think that. In fact, literally yesterday someone literally told me to literally enjoy the noise in my house. I don't know what to think about that. I hope it's not true. If it's true there's nothing to look forward to and no way to prepare. If it's not true, I'm going to really enjoy the hours between 8:10am-3:45pm.

When I started writing this post I looked back through some of my old drafts on Blogger. Here are a few. I may never develop them:

I cannot believe that no one thought about metal tennis rackets until after 1980. I can't believe this was an invention in my lifetime. (I still can't believe this.)

When bloggers become successful we stop thinking of them as "one of us." (Guess I'll never know.)

When I tried rice milk I first felt sad that some people live their lives drinking this stuff and then I thought that they probably feel sad that I live my life fat. (Maybe they don't.)

The other day I had this compulsion to say in a conversation, "That exact same thing happened to me!" even though it didn't. I don't know why. It's not that I want to lie. I just couldn't think of anything else to say.  (I say all kinds of things for lack of anything to say.)

Isn't it crusty, aren't we clever!

16 comments:

  1. I always loved reading where the wild things are because it was exciting and a little bit scary and I had information about the author that my kids didn't; namely that Maurice was basically a deranged psychopath. I also enjoyed reading goodnight moon, which most parents would choose unmedicated root canal over reading aloud for the fofillianth time.

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    1. I like both of those--not too many words.

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  2. I totally had to click this link in my reader ASAP. We have that book--I bought it for my kids because I loved it growing up. For some reason, my kids love it as well, though they ask (every time) what the word "pate" means. Did they really use that instead of "head?" Sheesh!

    And I love your incomplete blog posts. :)

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    1. I wouldn't have known how to pronounce pate if it weren't for the rhyme in the book.

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  3. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that when all your kids are in school you'll love it because when they come home you'll be so excited to see them because you'll have (finally) had the time to read under your covers in peace, AND do all the drudgery you have been doing while distracted (errands and housework and meal planning and all of that too numerous to list), so when they come home, you'll be "ready." You will have had time to go to the library, write. . .when they come home you will be so ON.

    (And telling someone you'll miss the noise is like telling someone you'll miss it wiping their bums. It's not true, and I'm super sentimental and even I don't. And I cry at every new milestone. It's not "a thing" to miss dumb stuff.)

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    1. Yeah, IT'S NOT A "THING" TO MISS DUMB STUFF.

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  4. Anonymous2:12 PM

    How about people who are way into you, but you don't even know they exist?

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    1. Thanks for commenting, stalker.

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  5. As someone who is currently child-free from 8:30-3, I can tell you that if someone told me I had to go back to not doing that, I would run really fast away from them with my hands in my ears and ignore them forever, because yes, it's a good thing. And Lisa's right, by the time you go get them at 3, you're "ready" for the rest of the day. Until 7 PM. At which point nothing ever changes, and I could never not want to hide under my covers.

    I'm a little obsessed with you, so I hope that puts me in a favorable category.

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    1. I'm pretty into you, Hailey.

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  6. Thank you for your honesty and humor. We had a surprise kid six years after the 3rd and supposed to be final. I sometimes admit that though I do not regret for a second having number 4 (now) I do still sometimes mourn the freedom of time I almost had. Some people look at me like I'm a monster. But no one will convince me that I wouldn't be loving not having to find another babysitter or not having to shlep an infant carrier all over the place at 37 with all the twenty something moms. (Lap time at the library? HA. what do I look like 23?)

    And Julie K thanks for introducing me to the blog of Kacy F. You will always be the person I'm a little more into than you are into me.

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  7. I can't believe you blogged about The Giant Jam Sandwich!! Two days ago for some reason I remembered this book from my childhood and how I really loved it, and wondered if it was a fringe book that no one else had ever heard of if it was a classic I might be able to find again. And now I know! Imagine the smell in the air indeed! Now I'm going to try and find a copy to read to my kids.

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  8. I could relate in some way to everything you said here. Also, I always want to comment on every one of your blog posts but instead I always type out my responses then delete them.

    I only deleted half of this one.

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  9. I hate that damn napping house for the exact same reason! And I am WAY more into you than you are into me. But it is ok because I am kind of an emotional masochist.

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  10. I am finally a mother of children in all-day school and I find it utterly delightful! For the first two months, I didn't even turn on the tv or any music, that's how enamored I was with the quiet...

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