Friday, August 10, 2012

Bourne Legacy: James Bond's Runty Twin

You know how there's always one twin that's uglier? It's the runty version of the other twin because it got smooshed in the womb? When I saw The Bourne Legacy, I just kept thinking that Jeremy Renner looks like Daniel Craig's smooshed twin:

 Hey, I'm a big fan of Renner. He's wiry, he's handsome, he's Hawkeye. But you tell me who had better access to the placenta in utero?

 Bourne Legacy was good. I liked it. I give it a thumbs up. I'm not saying you have to rush out and pay full price for it like I did, but it's worth seeing if you're a Bourne fan.

There's one really interesting thing about Renner's Bourne and I'm going to tell you so get ready for a spoiler or don't read this: First of all, his name isn't Bourne. It's Aaron Cross. And without his government enhancements he's really dumb. Interesting, and kind of sad when you're thinking about how he's the ugly twin and also, apparently, the dumb twin. I'll tell you something else, too. Rachel Weisz never kisses Renner in the movie. They care about each other and they hold hands, but they never kiss. I think it's because the director knew it would tax our willing suspension of disbelief too far. She's married to Daniel Craig in real life, folks. I don't see her going for his runty twin.

And I will see you. . . at the movies!


  1. I love this review. The runty twin! Ha. (If I were one of those people who wrote lol, I'd be typing that now).

    I was wonderfing if I should go see this. Now I am not.

  2. I love how your brain works! I, too, was fascinated by the fact that Aaron Cross was intelectually challenged before the enhancements. I immediately felt horribly sad for his character and saw him as very fragile and vulnerable. Plus, I kept racking my brain throughout the whole movie trying to remember who Rachel was married to...I knew it was someone famous, but I just could not put a handle to it. I have a hard time with Daniel Craig because I keep seeing him as the sadistic neo nazi South African in The Power of One.

    1. That's who he is!!! Thank you so much! I am totally pathetic for not realizing this before, as I have seen The Power of One about a trillion times. Now I know why I have always had a hard time with him, too!

  3. I'm suspicious about the new Bourne movie. I'll probably go see it anyway.

    Did you ever see The Unusuals? Renner was in it. I liked him as a quirky, tough, ex-baseball player.

  4. Thanks for the weekend chuckle. You're so right!

  5. Better placenta access!!! Hahaha

  6. I can totally see it! Runty Renner.

  7. The Unusuals! Was like the I only cop show I ever liked and they cancelled it immediately. I love Bourne movies and I think he did a fab job. Even though the chasing was too long.

  8. Gypped dead ringer, for sure.


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