Saturday, October 16, 2004

The Village (Gardner Village, That Is)

Note: This post is not about M. Night Shyamalan's newest movie even though I have seen it and I did like it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like the Joaquin Phoenix--I like eet veddy mooch (if you missed my post on Robbie's costume which I deleted so it would remain a surprise to my sisters who are the readers of this blog--that's just my spanish accent. I use it a lot.)

On Friday I went with my mother-in-law to Gardner Village which is a little village of shops where rich stay-at-home moms go to wile away the day. On the way there she told me a remarkable story. She said she ran into one of her wretched “friends” who had the audacity to tell her, “I love your new haircut. It takes 10 years off of you. I couldn’t believe you used to go around with that horrid hair before.” Always a lady, my mother-in-law politely thanked her. Can you believe that? Her hair is cute now, and very up to date and stylish but it was by no means “horrid” before or even “awful” or “not so good.” I would have described it as “perfectly fine” which is more than I can say for the wretched friend’s hair.

We had a good time at the Village. I ate an enormous 3 dollar peanut butter cup. (That’s what’s nice about my mother-in-law: she doesn’t judge me.) I bought an antique wine stave coat rack. I don’t drink wine myself but I have no problem with a coat rack made out of a wine stave. In fact, I think it will make my house seem more like a home. There were a few stores with “No Strollers” signs which, I must say, is a little hard to take. It's like, “You sell distressed wooden blocks with the word ‘Believe’ stenciled on them. Do you think people WITHOUT strollers would even want to come in here?” But whatever.

There was just one little wrinkle in my otherwise delightful day at Gardner village. I was paying for my food at the “Naborhood Bakery” and I couldn’t help but notice a huge iodine-stained area with a cotton ball taped to it on the arm of the FOOD-SERVICE WORKER helping me. Of course I asked, “Did you give blood today?” His reply: “Yes I did. They said I had to leave this on for another hour.” Hello? You don’t really have to leave those on that long—especially if you work at the Naborhood Bakery where people who are about to eat will see it. I really felt he’d been suckered by the nurse who took his blood. I said, “Um, kind of unappealing.” I scrunched my nose up in what I thought was a really cute rabbit-like face and I said it with a smile but he didn't seem to find it endearing. He said, “I know.” As in, I know this probably disgusts you and everyone in this restaurant but are you actually suggesting I put my health at risk and remove it? So it’s pretty likely he spit in my sandwich. More likely? He dabbed it with his bloody cotton ball. It still tasted good though because it had been like 40 minutes since I’d eaten the 3 dollar peanut butter cup.


  1. Mmmm, Utah cuisine at its finest! Expect me on the next Greyhound Bus!

  2. Wow, I wonder what Fifi had to say??? Don't worry Fifi, since you don't judge people we won't judge you!

  3. I have seen the "IMAGINE" sign many times in the SkyMall catalogue which is probably directed at the target audience of the husbands of the gentrified stay-at-home moms navigating their strollers around Gardner Village.

    Apparently you, Kacy, have taken up the challenge of this omni-motivational slogan.

  4. Kacy, I think I'd like to meet your mother-in-law.

  5. You would really like her.


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