Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Trust Me--A Photo History of Myself
The time may have come to choose between what's easy and what's right, but with this new "add image" button, choosing to do what's now so easy just couldn't feel more right. So here's a photo blog all about me. It's about time I provided a little concrete evidence for some of the claims I've been making heretofore unsupported on this blog and elsewhere in my so called life.
So here you see proof that I do exist, though this picture sheds little light on the debate over whether I am a man or a woman. I remember when I first moved into this ward and went to a primary get together where they had a match-the-person-to-their-baby-picture game. There was much talk about how the person in this picture must belong to a certain family in the ward. Later I found out certain mental disabilities run in that family. That's a super fun game.
I first rode a horse when I was a baby, but I didn't' get my Peter Frampton clothes until much later, as this picture illustrates. Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Baby I love your way. Giddyup.
What's all this about me and Gandalf? Geeze. I was Merlin. It was before all the Lord of the Rings hullaballoo and to add insult to injury, everyone thought I was Cookie Jarvis for Halloween that year. Puh-lease.
Anyway, after driving the darkness out of Middle Earth and as a prominent member of the White Council, Gandalf wouldn't really be very comfortable with the whole concept of Halloween, would he. Come on, people.
Once I did get some Peter Frampton clothes, I, apparently, wore nothing else. Here I am pictured with Fabulous Fred, the funnest game ever. My original Fabulous Fred is gone now but I spent 2 months buying Fred and various other old games on e-bay last year. Sam got Fred for Christmas, but Christian got Nintendo. Nintendo makes Fred look bad. Wonderful place this America.
This is evidence of the most horrible and embarrassing thing I have ever done. In Jr. High I was a Library aid with a girl named Sally. We had some good times. Sally really wanted to try out for the Seventeen cover model contest and her mom's friend said he would take pictures of her for the contest, but Sally felt weird going alone with this guy. So she talked me into getting my picture taken for the Seventeen cover model contest too. I went with her; we filled out forms. I can't say that I ever sent mine in. I mean, with those dreamy eyes and that sweater it is pretty certain that if I had sent the forms in I would have won. I never told a living soul about this and I am only telling you now so that this blog will seem fair and balanced when I brag about my greatest achievement in the next picture. Brace yourself.
This is probably the coolest and most amazing thing I have ever done. So it's not a bull. That cow was ornery. And I held on for a long, long time. Before it came out of the chute it tried to jump the fence. Yes, yes, it sounds like the stuff of legends. But here you have the picture to prove it.
I've said it before and I'll probably say it again. I went to girl's camp during the 80s--a simpler time. We weren't burdened with things like values, scriptures, or a meaningful concept to organize camp around. This was before the bar had been raised. Hey, we hadn't even heard of the bar yet. We just chose our favorite Care Bear. My newly-split ward was in need of cheering up, so we embodied Birthday Bear. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me. Let's Parteh!
Kacy, you know this picture represents your awkward stage. Everyone goes through it at about the same time. Must you keep revisiting that hair cut?
And finally, inarguable proof that my mom is a total foxy lady. She used to wear a shirt that said "foxy lady." I don't have a picture of that, but now my credibility should be pretty good and I think you should believe everything I say. I rest my case.