Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Trust Me--A Photo History of Myself

The time may have come to choose between what's easy and what's right, but with this new "add image" button, choosing to do what's now so easy just couldn't feel more right. So here's a photo blog all about me. It's about time I provided a little concrete evidence for some of the claims I've been making heretofore unsupported on this blog and elsewhere in my so called life.

So here you see proof that I do exist, though this picture sheds little light on the debate over whether I am a man or a woman. I remember when I first moved into this ward and went to a primary get together where they had a match-the-person-to-their-baby-picture game. There was much talk about how the person in this picture must belong to a certain family in the ward. Later I found out certain mental disabilities run in that family. That's a super fun game.

I first rode a horse when I was a baby, but I didn't' get my Peter Frampton clothes until much later, as this picture illustrates. Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Baby I love your way. Giddyup.

What's all this about me and Gandalf? Geeze. I was Merlin. It was before all the Lord of the Rings hullaballoo and to add insult to injury, everyone thought I was Cookie Jarvis for Halloween that year. Puh-lease.

Anyway, after driving the darkness out of Middle Earth and as a prominent member of the White Council, Gandalf wouldn't really be very comfortable with the whole concept of Halloween, would he. Come on, people.

Once I did get some Peter Frampton clothes, I, apparently, wore nothing else. Here I am pictured with Fabulous Fred, the funnest game ever. My original Fabulous Fred is gone now but I spent 2 months buying Fred and various other old games on e-bay last year. Sam got Fred for Christmas, but Christian got Nintendo. Nintendo makes Fred look bad. Wonderful place this America.

This is evidence of the most horrible and embarrassing thing I have ever done. In Jr. High I was a Library aid with a girl named Sally. We had some good times. Sally really wanted to try out for the Seventeen cover model contest and her mom's friend said he would take pictures of her for the contest, but Sally felt weird going alone with this guy. So she talked me into getting my picture taken for the Seventeen cover model contest too. I went with her; we filled out forms. I can't say that I ever sent mine in. I mean, with those dreamy eyes and that sweater it is pretty certain that if I had sent the forms in I would have won. I never told a living soul about this and I am only telling you now so that this blog will seem fair and balanced when I brag about my greatest achievement in the next picture. Brace yourself.

This is probably the coolest and most amazing thing I have ever done. So it's not a bull. That cow was ornery. And I held on for a long, long time. Before it came out of the chute it tried to jump the fence. Yes, yes, it sounds like the stuff of legends. But here you have the picture to prove it.

I've said it before and I'll probably say it again. I went to girl's camp during the 80s--a simpler time. We weren't burdened with things like values, scriptures, or a meaningful concept to organize camp around. This was before the bar had been raised. Hey, we hadn't even heard of the bar yet. We just chose our favorite Care Bear. My newly-split ward was in need of cheering up, so we embodied Birthday Bear. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me. Let's Parteh!

Kacy, you know this picture represents your awkward stage. Everyone goes through it at about the same time. Must you keep revisiting that hair cut?

And finally, inarguable proof that my mom is a total foxy lady. She used to wear a shirt that said "foxy lady." I don't have a picture of that, but now my credibility should be pretty good and I think you should believe everything I say. I rest my case.


  1. Man! And I thought I was cool for having ridden a mechanical bull. You will always outdo me in the cool department, though, which is why I'm anxiously awaiting your hair advice--especially after the Seventeen tryout. Very impressive post. Tell the Foxy Lady hello for me.

  2. Who is Cookie Jarvis?

    The long wait for a new post from Kacy was worth it! Pictures and all! My favorite line: "I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me. Let's Parteh!"

  3. My favorite part of the Seventeen Cover shot is that I'm pretty sure you shot it on BYU campus. Am I right? It just looks like BYU in the background. BYU and fashion covers go hand in hand!

    Speaking of that, do you remember my friend who used to wear leg warmers on campus? He was a dancer?

  4. Of course we "shot" at BYU. where else? Legwarmers on campus. . . that sounds like so many of your friends, Chris. I think it's because giving your hands the gift of your breath makes your legs cold. Am I right?

    Dede, we totally ruled. I miss you.

  5. Marcy, I say go a little shorter with the hair if you want to. It becomes you. Unless you have some big event coming up this year that you want to grow your hair out for. DID I JUST SAY THAT!

  6. You know what Toucan Sam is to Froot Loops, what Tony the Tiger is to Frosted Flakes, what Dig'em is to Sugar Smacks? Well Cookie Jarvis is that to Cookie Crisp.

  7. I'm afraid that wasn't very clear: Frankenberry, BooBerry, Count Chokula, Sonny (of Coco Puffs) and Sugar Bear are all cohorts of Cookie Jarvis. A fun crowd--to be sure--but Cookie Jarvis was just never the same caliber of wizard as Merlin [or Gandalf].

  8. I just feel that there is still so much to learn about you. YOU RODE A BULL...ER..COW? Why haven't you brought that up when we talk about rodeos..because we HAVE talked about rodeos?

    And the Seventeen photo shoot? Why has that never come up? Now you can never make fun of me for trying out for a reality TV show...never.

    And one last thing...your mom IS foxy!

  9. You had me with the picture of the pig roast. These are over the top. Thanks for sharing.

  10. I didn't realize that a headband, pegged pants, and the classic over-sized T-shirt was proper cow ridding attire. Shows you what I know. Nice form though.

    Also, I wonder if your mom's portrait was taken as an entry into a magazine cover model contest, and it was taken at the BYU botanical gardens. That would really be something.

  11. Is it inappropriate to ask for a recent photo? You've spoiled us, but in my mind you will remain the seventeen cover model picture unless I see otherwise...maybe that's your plan. I can live with that, but I'm curious as to who this funny lady is that my sister adores so.

  12. Anonymous12:52 PM

    No, it's not inappropriate. Although if you had read ALL of my blogs you would have seen current pictures of me with David Sedaris and wishing WRM a Happy Birthday. But that's ok. I can't expect too much from a very pregnant lady. But, you could go back and read those blogs. I mean, what else are you going to do? Would it kill you to go back and read those blogs Abby!

  13. So I think the Seventeen cover girl picture is HOT and I can't stop laughing at you dressed as a Care Bear...actually, its more the fact that you are dressed as the BIRTHDAY bear! What a life you've led thus far...

  14. you were robbed. you totally should have been the Seventeen cover girl. i would have picked you.


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