Thursday, September 22, 2005

Happy First Day of Autumn with Sister See

I've had the best day today because Summer is finally officially over. To celebrate the first day of Fall, Sister See and I bought matching pink corduroy jackets. We are always doing things like that. The only thing that kind of tainted it was eating a peppermint lozenge (proffered by Sister See). I knew that the similarity of the peppermint lozenge's texture and taste to the pill-version of Peptol-Bismol (which I actually like in pill form if I am really sick--but I don't like it as a "treat" in the check-out line) had the potential to be extremely nauseating. Nevertheless, I took it from Sister See in good faith, which was a mistake. That little lozenge almost brought the house down--my gastric house. I wasn't so close to vomiting that my mouth was watering and those glands in the back hadn't started to have that swollen feeling yet but I would say I was at about 4 alarms which required me to close my eyes and put my fist to my mouth and take several deep, slow breaths to stave off the vomit. Say what you will about those lozenges--they are potent.

No one noticed me because Sister See and the check-out lady were busy counting the 70 pieces of gold Sister See had brought to the store to pay for her goods. And by that I mean 70 gold dollars she had received for her 70th birthday which we had carried to Walmart in a rather large prescription pill bottle with the peppermint lozenges. After the money was counted she looked up at me with her big watery generous eyes and offered me another lozenge. I was still reeling from the first one and--though I was, on the one hand, appreciative that she would offer me her last lozenge I was, on the other hand, disgusted by the prospect of choking down another chalky minty sickening piece of "candy." One hand went to my heart at the thought of it while I braced myself against the counter with the other. I could feel a deep grimace on my face even as I fought to stifle it. I think I managed a very polite "No thanks," considering the circumstances.

Something like that might have really set me back yesterday, when it was Summer. But today it was just so much water under the bridge. Why, you may ask, do I hate Summer and love Fall? Because Summer is awful and Fall is much more to my liking. And that my friends, is a good example of what "begging the question" really means. There's no need to say "that really begs the question. . ." when what you mean is, "at this point it makes sense to ask. . . " because that annoys some people--not me. . . especially in the Fall when I'm in such a great mood.

At this point it really makes sense to point out that petitio principii (begging the question) would be an awesome name for a spell in the next Harry Potter book. Preferably one that brings Dumbledore back to life. Why do I believe Dumbledore is alive? Because I know in my heart he is not dead.

Even in the event that Dumbledore really is dead, Happy Fall. You just can't beat it. Please don't say anything about how Utah is a desert. I know what I'm talking about (as evidenced by my use of Latin above).

23 comments:

  1. And what better way to celebrate Fall than to jump into a big pile of leaves. Oh wait, um…. you could come borrow some of our leaves. Just don’t jump in with a wet sucker. (or a Yoo Hoo-sicle)

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  2. Ah, Happy Fall Ya'All.

    *Smile* My favorite season too!

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  3. I. love. fall.

    And I love begging the question. I remember learning about that back when I was a wee freshman.

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  4. Hm, could you be a freshman writing teacher? All I remember from freshman writing, actually, is begging the question and stacking the deck. Not a thing else.

    I’m very sad for you and your peppermint-lozenge loathing. You don’t like candy canes either, do you. You are sorely, sorely missing out.

    One thing I’m happy for you about, though, is the new corduroy jacket. Corduroy is one of my favorite things about fall.

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  5. I am still waiting for Fall here in Tucson--and you are right: summer bites. I've been baking pumpkin cookies, planning a pumpkin carving party, and burning apple cider candles, but it's not the same when it is 100 degrees outside. Want to kill self....

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  6. ...are begging the question and stacking the deck.

    Pardon me. I have this subject-verb problem.

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  7. This is a great entry! How do I know? Because it was written by a great blogger. How do I know you're a great blogger? Because you write great blog entries.

    And thanks for the teaching moment. Somehow I missed begging the question. Did Joyce teach that?

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  8. I love FALL too. I used to hate SUMMER with it's heat and humidity. The most bitting part was the yardwork, it really wiffs. Summer was only good for running from the AC house to the AC car to the AC store, AC movie theater, etc. However, this year I discovered the solution to my distain of Summer, a pool. It was wonderful to laze in the heat of the sun in the pool. Even the yardwork didn't suck as much with a pool to plunge into afterward. Now that Summer has offically ended and the heat rolls on in our neck of the woods, I am not so sad for the lack of Fall weather. My sweatshirts and corduroy pants can wait another month or two while the pool lives on. I will have to face up to the Fall/Winter pasty face soon enough, for now I want to continue to bask in the glow of my savage tan!

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  9. Emily3:24 PM

    Carly: If you carve your pumpkins more than, oh, 2 days before Halloween, they will shrivel and die. I'm just sayin.

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  10. Darn you, Emily. Now my party plans are ruined. But thanks for the tip. I have to go take a shower and cry right now....

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  11. The only bad part about fall is that winter follows. If we went from fall back to summer, then fall would be my favorite too. Sigh.

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  12. I grew up in Seattle in an old farmhouse with a 2-acre yard. I remember raking and raking and raking leaves. Into giant piles, which would never get wheel-barrowed anywhere. They'd just sit and rot.

    You ever smelled the smell of rotting grass? Seriously the nastiest smell ever. And to this day, when I smell that smell, it makes me nostalgic for home.

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  13. Wal-Mart, nasty candy, matching jackets. Classic!

    Fall makes me happy, too, for the weather and the clothing options. I'm simply not a capri-tank-top-kinda-gal.

    I kind of imagine Joyce eating peppermint candies.

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  14. Emily9:54 AM

    This Joyce definitely eats peppermint lozenges. No question.

    http://porktornado.diaryland.com/albumcover.html

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  15. I had a pair of brown corduroy bell-bottoms in 3rd grade. I used to think it was cool when I walked and they made that shvvvpvvvp sound. I've come a long way since then, and I'm glad to say that so has corduroy.

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  16. I loved that (levis?) commercial of the guy in cords running back and forth across the road, making that shvvvpvvvp sound, getting chased by a little badger thing making the same sound. Heh heh. Do you know the one I mean?

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  17. First of all, I am with you on the vomit inducing pepermint. I HATE it. I hate candy canes and always get the lime Tic Tacs and fruit Mentos. I don't even use minty flavored toothpaste (I was using my daughter's CareBear Bubblegum flavor, but now Crest has Orange or Lemon flavor). No amount of knuckle biting would have stopped me from losing it in the middle of Walmart.

    Lorien, I LOVE that commercial. Very clever. I have such fond memories of the bell bottomed cords I wore in my youth. They usually had some sort of rhinestones or patch on the pockets. Just today in GapKids I saw some cords for my 5 yr old. They were teal and they also had rhinestones on the pockets. Hmmmm.

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  18. I can't say I'm familiar with that commercial, though, as a general rule I like anything that has to do with varmints. Throw a pair of cords in the mix and I can't think of anything finer (except maybe the addition of a VW bus).

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  19. I had a hate myself day on Sunday. And it was partly because everybody looked so much cuter than me. And by everybody, I mean you in your sassy boots and fantastic pink courduroy jacket.
    I don't know that Sis. See could pull off the jacket quite so nicely.
    Also, I'm really grateful to now know what begging the question means. It may be the only thing I learned today.

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  20. What, are you CRAZY? I LOVE mint lozengeseses.... ! ...and toothpaste ...and fluoride treatments ...and candy canes ...and mint jelly!

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  21. Now that's TWO great commercials in the last week I've been looking for and couldn't find. Varmint Corduroys and Superman and Jerry Seinfeld (American Express). Commercials are like sales clerks...always buggin you when you want to be left alone, but never around when you need them.

    I personally really like mint, but hate pepto bismol. Ever since an incident in my youth involving too many peaches, red twizzlers, and roasted marshmallows, pepto makes me want to puke.

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  22. "Mmm...with mint jelly?"
    "No."

    Movie? Anyone? It was on TV the other night.

    Mint...yum.

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  23. Last night my institute teacher begged some questions in our BoM class.

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