I have a gift subscription to Interview magazine. It's really cute because the person who gave it to me doesn't even know it's slightly pornographic. I squint when I look at it until I get to the interviews. Today I read all about the actress who plays Hermione Granger. What a doll. I like her. I say that so you won't think I hate celebrities indiscriminately.
Remember Robin Wright Penn from the soap opera Santa Barbara? And then there was The Princess Bride and Unbreakable. I loved those movies. Now she's married to Sean Penn and does mostly artsy indie thinky sad movies. I have always assumed she's cool. She is interviewed in Interview by Francis Ford Coppola, who asks pretty interesting questions. I mean, I'd eavesdrop on a conversation between the Godfather and Buttercup if I could.
So I'm reading this article and I want to be intrigued. I expect to be intrigued. And Robin Wright Penn spouts off the same type of bashizznet I hear all the time from Gwyneth Paltrow. Poor Robin's dancing instruction ended when she moved from LA to San Diego. Even Coppola was confused, "You couldn't take dance lessons in SanDiego?" I guess it's the something something quality of the arts something blah.
Then Robin describes her teenage self as a quirky outsider without any friends. Also and incidentally, she was homecoming queen. Isn't it always the quirky outsiders with no friends who become homecoming queen?
The article ends inevitably with these two talking about acting and taking risks. I don't act (except for my role as a clumsy, lovable, honey-seeking bear in 3rd grade), but I don't disparage acting. I want to know the secrets of acting so I can just act poised. Surely Francis Ford Coppola and Robin Wright Penn have something useful to tell me about their craft. Get this. Robin tells Francis (with regard to acting) the story of a person walking on a beach and there's these two sets of footprints ya see, and looking back over the hard times there's only one set of footprints and the main person is all "where did the other footprints go during the hard times I was alone that is so sad" but really that's when they were being carried.
And Francis Ford Coppola, who had Michael Corleone assasinate the heads of the 5 other families during his nephew's baptism in total awesomeness, replies, "I'm 70 and I've been doing this for 45 years and I just recently got this understanding."
I'm sorry, but even the most humorless Mormon isn't that lame.