Friday, April 06, 2012

My Peeps

I'm lucky because I have a good family and wonderful friends. They are great and they do a lot for me but I've got to tell you, my ward is my peeps. I didn't choose them and they wouldn't choose me and yet--here we are. I see them and interact with them almost every day. They do things for me and they are helping me raise my kids. There are plenty of weirdos. Every ward has a few weirdos and if yours doesn't--it's you.

My ward is the group of people I go to church with. It's my neighborhood, basically. Here in Utah what we have in common mostly is proximity. But then you sit in meetings with them and teach their kids while they teach yours. You eat food together and you set up and take down a lot of chairs. You find that you have a common purpose. You donate money when someone needs it and you always get something if you need it. I got a bag of cookies and a package of M&Ms in my milk box last week from someone in my ward. Someone else taught my son to shake hands. Someone else helped Ellen learn to sit still. And my neighbor who has nine kids ran out of her house yesterday to take my picture for me because I thought my hair looked good and I needed a photo for a new blogging job (Babble!). You think about the church and you think about salvation but it's not just that (even though that's pretty important). It's other things like, "My hair looks good so can you just do something with those nine kids of yours right this second and take my picture?" People can be really nice. Sometimes it's their calling. But so what? It's still genuine.

The last time my dad visited me--his visits are infrequent and fraught--Christian and I were working outside to get our yard looking good for company. My neighbor, who is about the right age to be my dad, came over, chatted genially, and bent over and started pulling weeds with us. He said some wise and encouraging things, gave my kids an Otter Pop, and off he went. He did everything a dad would do. I don't need any more than that. See what I'm saying?

I'm not saying everyone is perfect and I love them all with all my heart. There are disappointing people and I get mad that my husband has to be gone all the time for his church calling but none of that takes away the fact that people in my ward are teaching my sons to camp and tie knots and show up and be good. They smell their BO. They sleep in tents on the hard ground and eat dirty food that Boy Scouts helped cook. They don't get paid and they certainly don't get thanked. They don't do it because they love my boys (even though they usually end up loving my boys). They do it because somebody asked them to do it. They might even do it begrudgingly--I certainly do some of my callings begrudgingly. I think that makes it even nicer.

The only people in the world who have gotten up as early as I have to tend to my kids is their Young Men and Young Women leaders. They show up in wee hours to take them to temple sessions. They went on a pioneer trek that I myself was unwilling to go on so my kids could have an awesome experience. Awesome--yes, but not so convenient or comfortable for a Ma and Pa who could have been home watching TV but who--instead--spent vacation hours and babysitting resources to go on a freaking pioneer trek.One time I watched a lady during sacrament meeting. Her son was passing the sacrament for the first time. She discretely pointed out the direction he needed to go, even though he holds the priesthood and she doesn't. Peeps in my ward are teaching me how to be a good mom. I'm in primary with the kids for most of church. There is a guy in there who teaches the three-year-olds with his wife. I doubt the rest of the ward knows that he sits through two hours of church with at least two kids fighting over his lap. They love him. They touch his face and play with his hair. I know how that sounds--borderline molesty. But it's not. It's sweet.

Peeps in my ward plan parties for me that I don't even want to go to like they are some over-eager friend. But then I go (begrudgingly) and it's fun and good. I used to plan those parties for them and they came (begrudgingly) and it was fun and good. Left to my own devices I would stay home and do nothing (don't get me wrong--this is not without merit) but sometimes a little nudge to do more is OK. You can't anticipate what you're going to get from these peeps because you don't always know what you need. I didn't know I needed a frozen chocolate drumstick with nuts from my gal-pal/80-year-old neighbor yesterday but as it turned out, it hit the spot quite nicely.

29 comments:

  1. Kacy - this is beautiful. So, so, so well written and so true. (Does it make it sound better if I say so more than once?) Also, I wish I had written this. So we're even.

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  2. Also, Babble?! We're movin' on up! (Well, you are movin on up.)

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  3. I agree with Josh. So great.

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  4. Bummer. I thought this was going to be a post about marshmallow Peeps and Easter candy.

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  5. I've been thinking a lot about my NY peeps in my ward here. I would not have survived without them. Great post, the church is true!

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  6. This makes me happy (not an easy feat). Thanks for writing it and sharing it.

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  7. One of my most favorite posts I've ever read. Thank you.

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  8. Rebecca2:52 PM

    Great post and huge congrats on the Babble gig! Can't wait to read you over there too. xo.

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  9. I don't know you, but I read your posts on occasion. Thanks for writing this today. I was just feeling down about my current calling and one of my peeps. But the truth is, for the most part, I feel just the way you described about my peeps. Thanks for giving me some perspective!

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  10. Anonymous3:21 PM

    I never comment and I'm not Mormon, but this was a great post. I happened upon your blog several months ago and liked it enough to subscribe to it, so I figure I should at least say so when I really enjoy something!

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    1. Thanks so much for letting me know. I really appreciate it.

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  11. I live in Scotland and my peeps are my family. My husband is the bisho and they are the ones who call me and see how I am doing and support me when I need help. I love them.

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  12. Thanks once again for fresh perspective. A ward is like a family in SO many ways...the good and the bad, but mostly the good. Thanks for the reminder to be more grateful for the village (aka: ward) who helps raise my family. The gospel is true...and awesome, like most of people in it. :)

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  13. Love it. I have never been in a "bad" ward. I guess maybe they exist, but for the most part, I agree with the whole peeps thing. I have lived away from most of my family since I was 17 years old, so my ward is very important to me. A few years ago our ward split and took on "extras" from a third ward. I totally dreaded it but it ended up with a new dynamic which was different but still good. I am that person who would never go to ward activities if no one called or e-mailed or shoved flyers in my face--and I am always glad when I go.

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  14. So verry good.

    Thank you.

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  15. Thank you for explaining why I love my ward in such an authentic way. Fabulous post!!!

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  16. Sooo good! In an act of possible treason, I have featured it in today's Mormon Daddy Blogs. I might be sentenced to a year of sitting in the front row in High Priests group meeting, but it was totally worth it. http://mormondaddyblogs.com/2012/04/my-peeps/

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  17. Thank you! I live on one side of the US and am getting ready (sadly) to move to the other. Last night was our going away party and many peeps from our ward of the last 17 years came to talk, hug, and say goodbye. My heart is full because of our wonderful ward peeps...

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  18. I love this post. I'm thinking about using it in my next sacrament meeting talk. I live in a tiny branch in arkansas so i get to give a talk about 3 times a year. this is awesome.

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  19. This is so spot on and fantastic, and hilarious of course. It's so true about the weirdos--but it wouldn't be a ward without them. I also love the bit about not being thanked.

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  20. Yea verily, even so. Amen.

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  21. Loved this post, Kacy. Thanks for your insights and thanks for sharing them with us. Hope your Easter was great!

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  22. Anonymous10:32 AM

    Thank you so much for this. I recently moved into a new ward and have been less than motivated in my attendance. I really needed to hear this and be reminded. Thank you, again.

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  23. This is awesome. And not just because you mentioned me.

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  24. Ok, fine. I'll go to the R.S. service auction tonight! But, quick, help me think of something to auction off! I skip it every year, because I don't want to babysit, I don't cook food anyone would want to eat, and I am basically talent-less.

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  25. I love my ward too! Most of the time they make me happy!

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  26. Love. They are totally nuts, but the ward is truly an inspired part of the Restored Church. It brings back that old school sense of community that everyone needs!

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  27. As everyone has said, awesome post. We recently moved from NY to WA, and while I am doing my best to get out there and meet everyone and be as involved as possible, it is hard to move to a new place and make new friends. I was having a little pity party today because my husband has been gone for several months (he is in the Army doing training and moved us here and then left for 6 months) and won't be home for 6 more weeks, and I was missing all my NY friends and the way the ward felt so comfortable there. Here I am still in that "does she like me or is she being polite" stage and still trying to find the people with whom I really connect. This post made me realize that some day (hopefully soon) this ward will feel comfortable and familiar, too. Thanks!

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  28. Loved! Thank you Kacy.

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