Thursday, September 07, 2006

Mein Chupacabra Haus

I know I haven't written a proper blog for a while but--can you blame me? This summer I almost moved to Salt Lake City,
painted and re-arranged my whole Provo house, roasted a pig (head on) with Christian, planned (and tried on) numerous "teaching outfits," and made lots of playlists. [No picture of my Provo house because, sadly, it's not as good as the one we almost bought in Salt Lake. Poor Provo house.]

While I was trying on teaching outfits I also had to create and plan my Honors 150 class--which I haven't taught for two years.

Today was the second day of class and I'm already going off about King Ding Dong. I don't' know why. Usually I wait a lot longer. Usually I'm well into the semester before I feel comfortable enough to launch into one of my topics. (If you ever read this blog you could probably name two or three of my topics pretty easily.) It's not like I planned it or anything. We were talking about the writing process and it just came up.

But the exciting thing happening in my class--what I am most looking forward to--is the naming contest next Tuesday for the mangled G.I. Joe that was found in my classroom. I think it's great for kids to have a mascot. It gives them something to rally around. When I worked with the Young Women I created and soon became obsessed with the personification of a clipboard (named Conducto) which the older girls used when they conducted meetings and made announcements. Conducto had a pen and mints attached to him. When he spoke, he spoke with a Spanish accent. This is what he said:

"Hi! I am Conducto the conducting clipboard. I am very fancy and special (just like you). I can make opening exercises more spiritual, organized, and fun but you have to use me and BE PREPARED!"

As was often the case during my brief stint with the Young Women--I was more into it than they were. (But that's just because they're dumb and I'm cool.) I am having a premonition of future deja vu regarding my writing class. Weird.

In the spirit of contests and naming things and trying to make my Provo house feel better even though it has a LOT more vinyl on it than the charming 1950s bungalow in Salt Lake City, I want to name my house. You know how Martha Stewart has Turkey Hill and rich/British people name their houses? Well I want to do that. And I want to refer to my house by its name all the time to give it more dignity. I've been wanting to do this for a while and have the kids come up with suggestions but you know how it is--if you ask your kids for suggestions and they come up with dumb stuff it's hard to dismiss them without sounding, well--cruel. So I open this up to you. I hope you come up with something perfect. Just so you know, my house is white and I live by a goat farm. So maybe something like, "White Goat Manor," but better. I am excited to hear your ideas. If you don't come up with anything good, I'll see what the kids have to say and we will probably just go with "Poo Poo House," because that's what Ben names everything.

As an interesting sidenote, I want to tell you a story. This is a true story about a man named Henne Gansfleische. Henne didn't love his name which translates, roughly, to "gooseflesh." No matter; he was industrious, driven, and smart. He worked tirelessly on an invention that would significantly change the world. Henne's house was called zu laden, zu Gutenberg. Gutenberg is a lot more dignified than gooseflesh and that is why you know Johannes Gutenberg, inventor of the printing press, by the name of his house, rather than his ancestors. Inspiring? Totally! Now let's get to work on naming my house.


  1. All those swanky housing developments in the greater Salt Lake area seem to be named with the following pattern:
    "[Insert Pretentious Name Here] at [Insert Even More Pretentious Name Here]".

    Therefore, I propose something along the lines of:

    Capra Horne at Lakeview

    for your house.

    A plus is that it rhymes with Capricorn, which is my sign, if you really wanted to know, which I'm sure you did.

  2. I have a few things to say:
    1. I want to be in your class and I want you to be my YW leader too (mostly so I can use Conducto).
    2. I want that house in the picture
    3. Sometimes the name of the street can inspire. J's whole fam still refers to the house where they grew up as "The Monte Cristo," as it was on Monte Cristo Ln. It sounds so fancy, no? Why don't you just go ahead and call your house that? And you can say stuff like, "Are we meeting back at the Monte Cristo?"
    "I just need to stop by the Monte Cristo really quick."

  3. Wow. I didn't realize that you gave up that adorable bungalow to stay in our humble neighborhood. Never mind that! I shall name my house as well--as doing so has been on my mind for many years as well--and we'll create charm in our vinyl jungle!

    I've always liked the name Rose Cottage, but none of the roses around my house do too well. Based on what does do well at my house (maybe the same for you), I'd name mine Gopher Mound of Morning Glories.

    ps I finally posted again...

  4. Mossy Drainpipe House

    In the Lee of Herrara

    The House Just Like the Rhodes' House

    Slate House

    Timp Shadow

    Lil Piece O' Heaven

    Kacy's Place

    Home House

    Anything Acres

    Lakeview Sanitorium

  5. Anonymous11:39 PM

    Sackford Manor


  6. Janice and I have wanted to name our house since we spent a month in Campion Cottage (Wells-next-the-Sea, England). We decided on "Lavendar House" for ourselves, though we don't ever actually use the name. We may be pretentious, but we don't want EVERYONE to know.

    How about:

    Bleedingheart Cottage
    Sack House
    KC Place
    Casa di Barbacoa
    Beck House ("beck" means "white" in Korean)
    In the Fen (with or without "house")
    Maison du fauconnier (if you REALLY want to be pretentious)
    Perchoir du faucon

  7. Ooooh! I think Jim's on to something!
    I hadn't even thought of the implications of the last name, there.

    How about Falcon crest!

    You know, as in, "We'll meet you back at Falconcrest for some brewskies."

  8. casa de fabrizio.

  9. We call our apt "the cabin" and my old place in D.C. was "The Limp Bizkit." I'm going to get working on a name for you.

  10. PVC Place. Because that's where vinyl comes from.

    Goat Poop Cottage

    The NOT Thomas Kinkade House

  11. I got nothin'. This is my second time reading and trying to comment. I GOT NUTTIN'. Sorry. I thought you'd prefer a comment... rather than not.

  12. Our house is called Tortilla Flat. I hate it.

    But when one of my other houses got flooded with sewage a year ago, we changed the name from "The Manor" to one or more of the following:
    -The Manure
    -Fecal Fortress
    -Poop Palace
    -Crap Castle

    There was another one that involved a play on the word "Chateau" but I don't think we need to go there. If Ben likes poo poo fill in the blank and you can't think of anything better, feel free to try one of those fancier versions.

  13. My house with Marcy Dibbleblotts was called "Wedgewood Down." It's because we lived downstairs. Maybe you should call your house just "Wedgewood" because that's the name of your china and, incidentally, my china. Our china is the same. If not Wedgewood, then Poo Poo House seems adequate.

  14. Whatever you name your house it should refer to mosquitos in some way. I lie to strangers when they ask if we have a mosquito problem here in west Provo.

  15. Falcon Crest.
    I knew someone who live at Wedgewood Down when I was at the BYU as well.
    Our house was called the Treehouse. I guess because there were trees in the yard, because our house was not up in the branches.

  16. Falcon Crest has a very nice ring to it. Maybe we should name our house. Or I could name by classroom.

    This opens up lots of possibilites for things to think about when I walk to and from school.


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